Diagnosed yesterday grade 3 3cm breast cancer! Help

I received by results over the phone yesterday after hospital messing up appointments again but actually I was glad as I was slightly hysterical afterwards. I will go back tomorrow to hear properly and see the oncologist on Monday. Was told it was a grade 3 3cm lump and are hoping to start me with chemo first before surgery. I’m so scared! I don’t know how I will cope. My daughter
is 5 and really don’t want her to have to go through this and I don’t want to not see her grow up!!! I want to fight this and stay positive but it’s so hard right now. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Hi Miarose

                    I feel your pain, I was diagnosed in Feb 2012 with a grade 3, 3cm with 3 lymph nodes affected, Im not going to tell you its a bed of roses because that would not be fair, BUT it is do-able , once your treatment plan is in place its like a rollercoaster, but thats a good thing because you are on your way to recovery and also because everything happens so quickly you dont have time to sit and think too much, good luck for tomorrow and keep useing this site its a mine field of information and help/support


Love L x

Thanks Lottie63. I know it won’t be easy by fear now is that it could have spread. Is that a normal reaction/feeling to have? How are you doing now?

So sorry to hear your diagnosis and of course you’re scared. But read all the success stories on here, and you will find women still going strong years and years after a similar diagnosis. Things are different these days, there is so much they can do and although the treatment won’t be a picnic, it is there to get you back to full health. Having small children always makes things seem worse because you are as worried just as much for them as for yourself. My sister had a Grade 3 tumour, mastectomy, radio and chemo, 7 years ago and absolutely fine ever since. You will get through this - good luck!!

Hi Miarose


I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer last October.  I have two boys (then 6 and 8).  My lump was just over 2cm plus two smaller satellite tumors.  I’m HER2 positive and hormone non-repsonsive which also limits what they can give me e.g. Herceptin yes, Tamoxifen no.


When I was diagnosed I was so worried about my boys - both telling them and also more importantly worrying I would die while they were still young.  I had a mastectomy and sentinel lymph node disection which showed the cancer had spread.  That was probably my lowest point.  I then had a second op - an axillary lymph node clearance - and the result were clear - yay!


6 months on I’ve just finished chemo (FEC-T) and I’m about to start radiotherapy.  So now I’ve explained my history I’ll get the point I wanted to make!


My boys were fine when I told them my diagnosis - there have been moments where they were concerned but generally they’ve completely taken it in their stride.


I was naturally very worried about the future when I got my diagnosis and particularly when I found it had spread (I’m now stage 2b). But you know what?  treatment has removed my cancer and odds-on it will for you too as you’ve found it early.  I’m nowhere near as doom and gloomy as I was 6-8 months ago and that’s the same for the group of women I’ve palled up with who have all been through chemo at the same time.


Obviously there is a chance of recurrence, or more significant spread, but even if that happens there is so much they can do now.  


I know it is very hard to be at the stage you’re at now but please know that there is light at the end of the tunnel x

Hi Miarose, this is my first time on here, and I was also concerned about how to tell my 7 year old without scaring her. I asked the breast care nurses at my local hospital if they had any literature or suggestions and they gave me a book called “Mummy’s lump” which is written in a very easy to understand non scary way, it would be a perfect tool for explaining to your child what is happening. It’s printed by breast cancer care, so ask your hospital if they have a copy you can have. Hope this helps and remember children are usually more resilient than we realise.

Me again Miarose, I have also recently been diagnosed with a 3.36cm lobular cancer and are having a wide local excision on Monday. It’s natural to go through many emotions, my first was “am I going to die”, “will I see my daughter grow up” to name a few. Now I am calmer after weeks of waiting for results and having a treatment plan in place, but as the day draws nearer I am feeling not in control and verging on hysterical at times. Just feel whatever you need to, we are all human and don’t be too hard on yourself x

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. I’m sorry to hear that so many of you wonderful ladies are having to experience this too! It does help to hear that your feelings are completely normal. It’s still unreal at times not sure if it has hit me yet or not or if I’m just coping better then I thought. Doctors said I have triple negative and need genetic testing that really upset me as I don’t want to have a faulty gene that I could pass on to my daughter that would be a massive slap in the face! Don’t think I could ever forgive myself. Should start chemo in about 3 weeks for 6 rounds then surgery then radiotherapy for 3 weeks. Can’t wait! Lol. But in someways I just want it all to start to I can get rid it, fingers crossed. I think you are all wonderful and brave, keep fighting ladies that’s what I’m going to do. Have a great evening x

That’s the attitude MiaRose!!Once you get started you will feel better because you are doing something to get rid of the bugger.If you have the gene that is not in your control ,at least your daughter will have the heads up and can take action at some point to stop this happening to her, that will be a long way off so put that thought to one side and look after you for now.Jill .

Hi Mia Rose, everything your feeling is completely normal when your first diagnosed, fear, disbelief and am I going to die are emotions I’m sure we have all gone through, I was panic stricken and couldn’t function on any level and my sons are grown up so for you to have to deal with a 5 year old as well on top must be so hard but as others have said things will get easier, it may not seem like it at the minute but once you have a plan in place and start on treatment you find a strength from somewhere honestly, we are all here to listen and help in anyway we can so you will never be alone and can talk about anything with us xx Jo