Diary of a mastectomy

I haven’t been on for a few days but felt really touched to read your lovely kind and supportive comments, and I am so pleased if my diary is helpful to anyone else.
Week 6

Back to work! Everyone has been very kind and asking how I am. I had only told certain people what the problem was, most people just knew I was having an operation. That was mainly because I didn’t want people feeling awkward around me and wondering if I was going to die. I knew word would get round anyway so I have been open with people and emphasised that I am really lucky and have an excellent prognosis. The most difficult thing about going back is the message I give about what I can do. On the one hand I don’t want to overdo it and cause myself problems and therefore need people to understand that, but on the other hand I don’t want people to think I am now not able to give 100% and therefore put myself in the firing line next time there are redundancies.

My job is mainly office based and I can avoid strenuous lifting but I do find using the keyboard and mouse for long periods tiring and the discomfort around my scar increases as the day goes on. I was supposed to be doing half days this week but one of those turned out to be 8 – 3 and I was really feeling it at the end. But it is really hard to say I’m not going to finish that piece of work, especially when colleagues have been working extra hard and long covering for me.

On Friday I had a call from a doctor who deals with occupational health for the firm and she thought I was overdoing it and next week should just do 8 – 1 although we agreed I could do 8 – 2.30 if I feel up to it, and then increase by one hour per week so I will be back to full time by the end of the month which was my aim. I don’t think she realises my full time is 7 – 6 minimum! She is going to recommend a different “penguin” mouse which she thinks will help. I wonder if other people have struggled with a mere desk job, I feel a bit of a wimp.

I took the opportunity to ask her when I would be able to lift any weight again and she said there had been studies done which suggested lifting heavy items could lead to lymphoedema and that I shouldn’t lift anything heavy for two years!! When I was bringing in the supermarket shopping today I was thinking but how heavy is heavy?

Oddly I found flushing the toilet at work difficult! (push button type in the wall – I can’t push with any force). That was easily sorted by using my left hand but I found myself thinking again how much harder it must be for someone who has had a bilateral (I would have had to take a shoe off and use my big toe!). Also when one of the printer drawers stuck I was wary of giving it a good yank which I wouldn’t have thought twice about before.

Spent most of Friday morning at the hospital where I had been booked in to the wrong clinic. I thought I was going for the prosthetic fitting and they (and they were honest about this) really didn’t know why I was there. They did try to find a BCN to sort me out but no luck. They did however put me on the phone to agree an appointment time at the right clinic week after next.

So – different challenges at work, but it is good to be heading back to normal life.

Week 7

Received a copy of the occupational health report which said I would qualify under the disability provisions of the Equality Act. That took me aback. I am not sure I want to be thought of as disabled, but I suppose if it helps me to keep my job I shouldn’t complain!

Minor panic when 10 year old walked in to chat to me whilst I was in the shower because I hadn’t locked the door, which I had been doing since the op. No-one except me and the medical team have seen my scar yet and because I wasn’t expecting it I probably overreacted and turned away and asked him to talk to me when I was out. I should have just not made anything of it but I think I was worried about upsetting him just before he left for school. So that’s still a hurdle to overcome.

He was a great help though when I was trying on my mastectomy costume with shower puffs as padding as recommended on another thread. “Too big” “Too small” “Just right” – it was like a scene from Goldilocks!

I caught myself in Tesco’s deliberating whether to buy the ordinary or luxury shower puff and holding them out in front of me trying to decide which was the right size. There was a woman next to me who must have thought I was taking a long time trying to decide whether the luxury one was worth an extra 50p!

I was telling a colleague at work that I feel I haven’t got my “oomph” back yet. There could be all sorts of reasons – recovery from surgery, simply having got out of the work habit, the fact that I am not working full hours yet, the fact that I don’t feel “normal" yet or possibly the Tamoxifen. I just want to fast forward through this awkward phase to having my permanent prosthesis and being used to it and being able to work without that constant awareness of pressure – I know it’s going to be a different normal but I want to get to that stage. But why am I wishing my life away, haven’t I just been warned that every minute should be made the most of?

Week 8

Got my new boob! I was expecting a BCN but the lady who does the fitting explained that she isn’t medically trained, although obviously very experienced. She was very kind, understanding and went through things at a relaxed pace – I never felt I was being rushed into a decision nor did I find it embarrassing in any way. I hadn’t realised how many types of prosthesis there were either! We tried quite a few and eventually decided on one we were both happy with, which we tried in a few different bras I had taken – two mastectomy bras and one old one. She gave me a form to take with any bras I wanted pocketing to the Nicola Jane shop so they would be done free of charge.

She also said I may be a 34D rather than a 36B. When things have settled down I think I’ll go to the Nicola Jane shop and try some different sizes.

I was going to donate all my old bras to Oxfam but I kept them in case there were any I could still use once I had my proper prosthesis. At some point I need to do the trying on exercise.