I haven’t been on for a few days but felt really touched to read your lovely kind and supportive comments, and I am so pleased if my diary is helpful to anyone else.
Week 6
Back to work! Everyone has been very kind and asking how I am. I had only told certain people what the problem was, most people just knew I was having an operation. That was mainly because I didn’t want people feeling awkward around me and wondering if I was going to die. I knew word would get round anyway so I have been open with people and emphasised that I am really lucky and have an excellent prognosis. The most difficult thing about going back is the message I give about what I can do. On the one hand I don’t want to overdo it and cause myself problems and therefore need people to understand that, but on the other hand I don’t want people to think I am now not able to give 100% and therefore put myself in the firing line next time there are redundancies.
My job is mainly office based and I can avoid strenuous lifting but I do find using the keyboard and mouse for long periods tiring and the discomfort around my scar increases as the day goes on. I was supposed to be doing half days this week but one of those turned out to be 8 – 3 and I was really feeling it at the end. But it is really hard to say I’m not going to finish that piece of work, especially when colleagues have been working extra hard and long covering for me.
On Friday I had a call from a doctor who deals with occupational health for the firm and she thought I was overdoing it and next week should just do 8 – 1 although we agreed I could do 8 – 2.30 if I feel up to it, and then increase by one hour per week so I will be back to full time by the end of the month which was my aim. I don’t think she realises my full time is 7 – 6 minimum! She is going to recommend a different “penguin” mouse which she thinks will help. I wonder if other people have struggled with a mere desk job, I feel a bit of a wimp.
I took the opportunity to ask her when I would be able to lift any weight again and she said there had been studies done which suggested lifting heavy items could lead to lymphoedema and that I shouldn’t lift anything heavy for two years!! When I was bringing in the supermarket shopping today I was thinking but how heavy is heavy?
Oddly I found flushing the toilet at work difficult! (push button type in the wall – I can’t push with any force). That was easily sorted by using my left hand but I found myself thinking again how much harder it must be for someone who has had a bilateral (I would have had to take a shoe off and use my big toe!). Also when one of the printer drawers stuck I was wary of giving it a good yank which I wouldn’t have thought twice about before.
Spent most of Friday morning at the hospital where I had been booked in to the wrong clinic. I thought I was going for the prosthetic fitting and they (and they were honest about this) really didn’t know why I was there. They did try to find a BCN to sort me out but no luck. They did however put me on the phone to agree an appointment time at the right clinic week after next.
So – different challenges at work, but it is good to be heading back to normal life.