Hello,
I’m in a total quandry. I’m having a mastectomy and can’t decide whether to go for reconstruction or not. Sorry if you’ve heard me go on about this before - but I’m starting to panic as I went to the hospital today and should really have known what I wanted to do but I just felt confused and as though I did’nt ask my consultant the questions I wanted to…
I respect her very much and like the work she did on my WLE. She would usually be recommending a LD flap plus expandable implant, but I’ve got a bit obsessed with the idea that it will stop me doing things that I love - kayaking, swimming, rowing, backpacking…
I just can’t tell any more whether I’m being reasonable or not.
She is also offering me a recon with just an expander under my chest wall, but I feel that if I am going through recon it would be best to get the best result, which she seems convinced she would get using the LD flap. My other breast is a D or DD cup and I’m 35 so things on that side can only go downhill in time and I might look very wonky with that option. I’m not keen on reducing the other side as i haven’t had kids and if I do I’d like to feel I had a chance to breast feed.
I’m also a bit freaked by the whole idea of implants to be honest.
Recently I’ve been trying to imagine what it would be like not to have recon at all - an option I didn’t consider really at first. I went to Nicola Jane today to look at protheses and bras and costumes and it all looked alot more ok than I’d thought. But i don’t really know what it’s like to swim etc with a prosthesis and I can’t imagine it all as a day to day reality.
Part of me thinks it could be great to keep things simple, and empowering to take the view that I have a different body cos i had cancer, but I can’t really imagine it, and would really value some comments from those of you who went without.
I know that everyone’s choice is really personal and none of you can solve this dilemma for me, but any shared experiences would be welcomed.
Am afraid this is a decision that only you can make. BUT the bit of your post that caught my eye was the swimming bit with the prosthesis. I had mast a year ago - right side only - and have a swimming prosthesis. I wear it with a proper pocketed swimsuit and it is absolutely fine - does not move at all - I just always give it a quick check just before I get out of pool. I have unfortunatley had a chest wall recurrence on same side so will soon be getting more surgery on that side, and I am going to have preventative mast on other side at same time so am going to be completely flat chested. I do not like looking like this, and my plan was to have recon (expander and implant), with mast on other side in april - had date and everything, but all that is now out the window with latest dx.
I will still plan to have recon in the future but thats prob a year away now as I will have surgery, chemo then poss more rads.
Living with a prosthesis day to day is a pain in that you have to watch the clothes you wear - if you wear anything too low and bend over for example, then the prosthesis is heavy and lifts bra away from chest wall but apart from that its not something you really notice. Just have to be very organised when packing gym bag etc.
I’m older than you (now 59, mastecomy at 55) and smaller than you (38B) and not into sports, but I never wanted a recontruction and find a lightweight prosthesis very comfortable.
Over the years I have heard some great success stories of reconstruction but also some awful painful ones.
I think not having a reconstruction is as positive an option as having one…but a choice which is sometimes presented as second best. I agree with you that having a different body can be empowering. Years ago I saw women at the lovely Hampstead Womens pond bathing naked with one breast…and that powerful positive image has always stayed with me.
There’s a good website which explores not having breast surgery on www.breastfree.org
Thanks for your very helpful replies.
I’m still not sure what I’m going to go for but I’m definitely not having the op until January now so I have a bit more time to mull it over. I’m hoping to get to a decision I feel happy with by the time I see my consultant again in two weeks time.
I’m not feeling the blind panic of the other day - long may that last! I feel alot calmer and have spoken to people who have not had recon. which makes it feel a much more real choice. I think the knee jerk reaction of the professionals is to patch us up as well as possible, and I think this is great for many, but as you say we all have to make our own choice.
I wonder if the Hampstead Women swim in the winter… ? I might make my way over there! Other people I’ve spoken to suggest a nudist beach is a good place to come to terms with how wierd and wonderful all our bodies are!
S - I am so sorry that you have the hurdle of more surgery ahead before you can have the new breasts that you want. I am sending you a big gentle hug and wishing you lots and lots of luck with it all.
Have you considered your other options? There are many sites which will show you the different possibilities. Try googling “options for reconstruction” or diepflap or try Elaine Sassoon. There are far more options available than LD or expanders. I had a diep which was a transfer of flesh from my tummy to my chest. This involves no loss of muscle and no implant. I was 36 DD and a few months after my diep I had my other breast lifted to match my new one. Your surgeon may not be able to do all methods but it is your right to be refered to a surgeon who can do the reconstruction you want.
If you can have an immediate reconstruction, the result will be cosmetically better. So if you do think you want one I’d go for it now.
Good luck with your choices.
Kelley
hi tirrick
hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think you should check first how many of your sports you wil be able to do anyway - due to lymph node removal and risk of lymphoedema
you may be going without a new breast to make these easier but you may not be able to do them all anyway - i´d fid out first if I were you
After 18 weeks of constant pain since having bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction using expander implants I’m glad to say that on Friday November 28th I had the op to remove them.
As soon as I was back on the ward I was aware that the awful tight feeling in my chest, that hadn’t reduced even slightly in the intervening time, had gone. By the time I woke up 2 dayd later I was painfree TOTALLY for the first time in 18 weeks. I have no post-op stiffness like I had when I had the expanders put in and I can only say that I feel like my old self again. The Surgeons think that the skin will shrink back to how it was before as I hadn’t much done in the way of expansion (200mls in Theatre) but if it doesn’t they will tidy it up in about 6 months time.
I am disappointed that for me reconstruction doesn’t seem to have worked. I’d thought long and hard over which op to go for and wanted one with minimum recovery time which was why I chose implants.
BUT, now I feel well again and I know I couldn’t carry on with the constant pain and I was spiking temperatures too which my Consultant felt was due to either a low grade chronic infection or an inflammatory response to the expanders themselves. I suspect it was the latter as the seromas that were constant since surgery have all but disappeared now too.
Either way, my husband says he’s just happy to see me looking so well so soon and able to move around without wincing. For me, having the expanders removed was the right decision, now I can get on with the rest of my life and prostheses and pocketed bras seems a small price to pay to have my health back.
Hi Trudie,
I’m sorry that your expanders didnt work for you but realise what a big relief it must be to be pain free at long last. I am seeing my surgeon this pm. to discuss what op to have after finishing tax 2 weeks ago. My mind has been all over the place and seems to change from week to week. As some nodes are involved and lump didnt shrink much I think an mx will be on the cards, my dilemna is if so, shall I have a bi lateral and have done with it??? I know I dont want recon, the sooner I can get my life back to some semblance of ‘normality’ the better. I hope the surgeon listens to me about bi lat. choice. So here agoes, will be glad to get this day over with…
Just seen what janeRA has posted above. I too do not see ‘no recon’ as 2nd best and is definately a positive choice for those who want it. The really difficult bit is making that choice and sticking by it. Here goes…