Has anyone else read Dina Rabinovich’s moving piece in today’s Guardian. I’ve followed her column since she was diagnosed in 2004. She’s now ‘terminally’ ill and writes about her experience as a mother who knows she is dying.
Some brilliant bits in it. e.g. “Just take it one day at a time the doctors say…what on earth does that instruction mean, I ponder? Because honestly what works as a guideline for a Buddhist monk doesn’t make tuna sandwiches on days when you can’t face food.”
She is currently on tykerb and navelbine but has had to get the tykerb through a relative in Israel because she couldn’t get on a trial in the UK.
Thank you Dina for this article and best wishes and thoughts with you and your family.
I have not seen the article today I will try and get a copy tomorrow bu I am really sad to hear that she is now terminally ill I have just finished reading her book “Take off your party dress” I couldn’t put it down, she is a great credit to herself and her family, especially having such a little boy. Lets hope she can make a lot more tune sandwiched yet.
What a devastating piece of writing. Dina writes some of the most candid descriptions about living with this disease I have read. “We’ve had war, we’ve had plagues, but never before have we had an illness that has killed off the mothers.”
The Guardian today has three letters about the article. Two point out that historically its not quite accuate that in the past mothers didn’t die. I’m inclined to agree with this but that doesn’t for me detract from Dina’s writing which is so honest and real…and painful.
I agree she is a wonderful and interesting writer and an extremely compelling woman. She articulates for us the fears we have about our children in such a powerful way and touches raw nerves.
But a) as others have said, historically this is probably wrong and b) many parts of the world are afflicted by a disease which has ravaged families, taking mothers and fathers in their millions (literally) and although there are drugs which can save people, it has still happened.
Breast cancer is a terrible disease. HIV in Africa and Asia is a different kind of devastation on a different scale entirely…
Jo
xx
I read Dina’s piece yesterday and found it so moving. Then I went to her blog and was incensed that she had to scrabble around trying to get hold of a wheelchair so that she could get out and about. She ended up getting one from her hospice, but should somebody who may not have much life left have to spend any precious minutes dealing with such an issue?
What she says about mothers is so moving. And yes, historically there have been other things that have killed off mothers in their droves (childbirth being one of them). But this disease, when it hits a mother with a young family, can be so devastating and it seems incredible that a society can lose so many mothers to this disease without, seemingly, much comment at all.
Thanks Jane for posting about this. I wouldn’t have spotted it otherwise.
Sorry to be a pain but would love to read th article but am on hols with sticky keyboard access so can someone post the URL and I’ll catch it end of thr week.
I’ve been following Dina’s blog for a while and do comment on it under a different name from here and been reading her columns in the Guardian. Somehow, I can’t face reading that particular article at the moment as yesterday we told the 10 yr old twins and 7 yr old that my cancer was spreading and I wouldn’t be around for much longer and in the middle of this the guinea pig died so very traumatic day. At least, the hospice social worker came over and she is going to work more with us now and with the school so that will help.
I will read Dina’s article when I’m feeling stronger as she talks with an honesty that I can relate to. I’ve been amazed that it is only recently that she has been talking about being terminally ill as from her blog so frequently things have looked so bleak. It is a huge leap from being someone with ‘advanced’ cancer to ‘terminal’. Think i’m still classed as ‘advanced’ but feel I’m moving towards ‘terminal’ with a speed now.
I’ve had hospice support for a year now so have been so lucky that I’ve been able to resource things that others with secondaries can’t get access to - postcode lottery again.
Thank you Dina for a great article, very thought provoking.
The article resonated, my mother must have known she was dying at some point, or been told, her BC spread to the brain and so she had little time to contemplate what might happen to her three youngsters of 6, 8 and 13. In the 60s there wasn’t the treatment we have today, the treatment I’ve been able to have. All sorts of support that we have now wasn’t available way back then; my poor Father didn’t know where to turn. Thanks goodness times have changed and long may they continue to change, improve and progress.
Deirdre - you are right, when a mother dies a family is devasted, forever.
Dippykate - I wish you had another username, it feels terrible addressing you this way! No doubt the least of your worries right now … I’m so sorry to hear you are now dealing with the later stages of this awful disease and your children so young. I’ve just heard that a former neighbour has drowned in Portugal trying to help her children in difficulties. Life just isn’t fair. How people retain any faith at these times is beyond me but perhaps I’m too shallow. Clearly you’re getting lots of support from your local hospice and I expect you draw courage and strength from knowing they are there for you all.
As a French colleague said to me on diagnosis “courage mon brave”.
D