Hi ladies…Know how you all feel. When I am not bogged down with all the SE’s of the chemo, I start dwelling on the ‘dog ears’ (never heard that expression before) but I have them, and the mx scar, and no hair etc.I hate wearing a wig.
Can’t begin to think of recon yet…if it was only one maybe, but I will need two doing and the thought of surgery again is too much. I like all of you just want to get back to a normal life again… but it seems a long way off.
I had a right mx in July last year but I was one of the super super lucky ones & didn’t need any further treatment. It was such a quick & straightforward experience that I actually felt like a fraud!
This thread is very helpful though - Raonaid - I looked at The Scar Project website before my op - it made me bawl my eyes out for a few days but I think it helped me get used to the scars & what mine might look like. Almost a vaccination if you like. I am suitable for a recon but just last week I went to a Reconstruction Awareness group & that I wasn’t ready for!
Seeing the other replies regarding not having recon just confirms my own feelings. I’ve got used to & can accept my straight MX scar but I know I will never be able to deal psychologically with the scars & patches of a full recon. A close friend told me if a new guy can’t accept my scars then he’s not worth my time - which is very true I think. However, my point is - if I can’t accept them, how the heck can I expect him to?
The hardest part of my story is the timing! I asked my husband of 20 yrs for a divorce in March. There was a new guy on the horizon & at the end of May, I went to meet him for the first time. We had 2 wonderful weeks together then I came home. Two days later, I found my lump. The next time I saw my new fella was just 2 months after my MX - not quite the package he’d signed up for but apart from me turning my back to him when I dressed & me turning the lights off for sexy time, he was very gentle & understanding. I ‘fronted’ a lot at first but he could tell I was hiding so he kind of pushed me to talk about it & now we’re fine.
Now I’m facing the fight to get the other removed - I strongly feel that ‘balanced’ is the way to go if you can but I really don’t want to go the recon route. I know you’ve been told you can’t have recon but perhaps if you can find a reconstruction awareness group near you & see the results of recon, it may make it a little easier to accept your basic MX scar.
Also - make yourself examine your scar, poke it (if it’s healed enough of course!), rub moisturiser in it, just look at it - it’s a grieving process in many ways - the more you look at it, the less horrific it will seem especially when you consider what the alternatives could have been. {{{hugs}}}
Nonny, Gillysmiff and Lyssy, thank you so much for your posts, I have taken a lot of comfort from them. I will shortly be having a bilateral mx, with no option for recon immediately, if ever. Initially diagnosed in the left breast, I was so concerned about being lopsided - I’m a 40F! It was almost a relief to find that I’d need both breasts removed. Does that sound awful? It feels awful to say it. I’ve been told that the scar will not be pretty, due to the excess weight I’m carrying, and i guess that will mean the dreaded dog-ears (which worry me more than the scars, to be honest). To hear that it’s possible to get them dealt with later down the line is such a relief - I would rather that than the trauma of recon. Your positivity is contagious, and gives me courage to deal with this. Thank you. xxx
Beeny - you’ll be fine - just do what they tell you exercise wise afterwards, it really does make a difference with mobility later. I don’t think it’s awful to say you felt relief - I’m only a 38D & my falsie is heavy as hell! oh and I seem to be allergic to it too so I’m back to the softie they gave me 
Getting them both removed at same time means only one lot of surgery & no chance of recurrance not to mention a literal weight off you! I bet your back will thank you in later years! 
I know how you feel dont think I am now ever going to come to terms with my mx I can cope with the dog ears under my arm but not the large bumps on my scar I was told by 2 breast care nurses 4 other nurses in the breast clinic and the surgeon that I could have corrective sugery but then got the devastating news today that she is now not going to do the surgery no reason given but I know I cant cope with this.