When i was dx nearly 2 1/2 years ago, it took me over 6 months to actually be able to say the word cancer. Now, all this time on, i still find it a hard word to say. I find myself trying to think of other ways of saying it without actually saying “cancer”. This applies when talking about myself or anyone else, ie celebrities. Does anyone else feel like this?
Hi Lolly,
We are all so different, aren’t we? I don’t mind saying or talking about cancer at all, and hate when other people use euphemisms to talk about it. But I remember that for the first few months any time I saw the words ‘invasive ductile carcinoma’ written down it reduced me to tears!
Jacqui
Lolly73
Interesting, that you sound exactly the same as me.
I was diagnosed 2years ago and had WLE, chemo and rads, and will be having a double mastectomy soon.
I still find it hard to say the ‘c’ word. I will use any other word if I can to avoid saying it.
I guess this means that I have still not rully accepted it.
xx
i find it had to say i have breast cancer, i tend to say i have been diagnosed with breast cancer, as if its a process thats happened to me in a third person type of way, a step removed.
A friend of mine told me that Alan Bennett said (about his cancer) that he didn’t have a pet name or euphemism for it - he didn’t think that they got on well enough to be on those sort of terms. It made me smile … and seemed to capture how I feel about it.
But … we are all individuals. What works for me, won’t necessarily work for you. If avoiding the word or calling it something else makes life easier for you, that’s what you do. Its hard enough having cancer, being judged or told how you should deal with it is just unnecessary.
Debs x
After treatment has finished and, hopefully, the cancer has been removed, do you say you ‘have’ or ‘had’ cancer? I tend to say that I was diagnosed with breast cancer last August, but I really don’t want to say I have it, because I am truly hoping I don’t any more.
Ann x
I can say the word, but tend not to as it frightens other people!
When talking about it I say that “i’ve recently had treatment for breast cancer”, and if people ask if I am “all right now” (meaning have I had the all clear), I explain it was gone after surgery - the rest is back up.
Flora, You always remind me of that song…(Monty Python)
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…
And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…
xxx
Yes Debs I recall that one too and it gave me a good feel because I feel the same. I can say the word cancer and not bat an eyelid . Equally I too can say I’ve had cancer but I’m ‘good to go’ now. But if you do mention Cancer you can almost feel them recoil even if they can see and hear you being positive.
I know of someone who refers to it as ’ Custard ’ !! but she does have young children and she doesn’t want to scare them when the might listen into conversations.
Oh wow I have had this discussion with my BCN this morning as I have eventually conme to accept that I have BC and be able to say BC not tumour /lump etc Thanks for the Monty Python and Alan Bennett reminders and this is 6 x chemos and WLE and ANC later, cannot explain this is but thanks. Jackie
From the mouth of babes…
I hated the word,It really stuck in my throat when i had to tell people.
When i told my children that i didn’t like the word, my daughter (innocent 13 year old)said maybe we could use a pet name and her line of thought was as follows:
Cancer - Cancer is a Star sign - A Crab is the picture from the star sign - we can say you have crabs mum!!!
Darcyb
I am new to this site, was diagnosed and treated for grade 3 hormone receptive cancer which was also in 5 of my lymph nodes, in February 2008. Was treated and so far am doing well with no evidence of disease. Even now, 2 and a half years on, if I hear the word ‘cancer’ I feel like I’ve been kicked in the teeth.I can say it myself, but don’t like hearing others say it. Strange isn’t it?
Darcyb - Mmm, not sure you would want that, either. It me made laugh out loud. Thank you.
Ann x
Hi Darcyb
Love that one made me laugh out loud too - just what I needed thanks.
Love Anne x
Me too - laugh that is - not have crabs!!!
Lynn
i used to call my C ‘Larry the Lodger’ cos lodgers dont stay in your house for long! (ha)
Now i say that i used to have breast cancer, i had my wles Sept/Oct last year, finished FEC/rads in April this year.
eva
Darcyb, thanks for making me laugh today xxx
Carol xxx
Darcy b and daughter Thanks crabs lol. Jackie xx
Crabs it will be for me now. I think it’s a great word although I don’t really have a problem with “cancer” - I think its others who have the problem. love, Mo
Hi, I’m half german and my mum (the german side) called it brustenkrebs (breast crabs) its a lovely literal language!
first time off my kids were fairly young and we referred to it as ‘the big lurgy’ but it was a conscious nickname - we never avoided calling it breast cancer - we never taught our kids to call breasts ‘boobs’ etc as I thought it pandered to the page 3 culture, I thought the word breasts took the word back to breastfeeding (ie the point of them!) stroppy mare, I know!
words are very powerful, I know what you mean, Flora, about others being uncomfortable with us talking about cancer. For me, it is what it is, and I can’t afford to be afraid to mention its name, However, have to respect that we all have our own way of dealing with it and I think the crucial thing is to have the freedom to call it what the hell we like. we define it - it doesn’t define us.
love and good luck to you all
monica