Doctors this morning

Hi all

I stumbled across this site completely by accident, you all seem sooooo friendly. Oh boy do I need a friend, I found a lump in my left breast, that was two days ago, I was at the doctors this morning. She was very though and said I need to be seen at the breast clinic. Up to two weeks for the appointment, she told me not to worry, oh I wish.

I am 50 and no history of family members with bc, but that doesn’t help my feelings of absolute terror. I could, one minute burst in to tears and the next, I say to myself, what good will worrying do!

I just don’t know what to do.

Hi ohno yes this is a very friendly and supportive site and you will get loads of helpful advice and support on here.

the fact you have been to the doctors is good and that she has referred you means she is being dilegent. approx 90% of referrals to a breast clinic don’t result in cancer diagnosis but its right that your doctor has referred you so they can do further checks and scans to check you out.

I know its easy to say don’t worry but I know you will, everyone on here does - the posts are mainly those of us who unfortunately had the ‘bad news’ lots of ladies post of here in your position and once they have been to the breast clinic we don’t hear of them again as they get good news - so fingers crossed this will be the same with you. let us know how you get on xxxx

Dear Ohno,

Welcome to the forum. You will get lots of support from the other members. If you feel it would help to talk to someone please give our helpline a ring. They will be open tomorrow from 9.00am-2.00pm. The number is 0808 800 6000

Very best wishes

Janet
BCC Facilitator

Hi Ohno I found myself in your position a couple of months ago, found a lump in left breast went to docs, asked to go back 2 wks later still there so referred to breast clinic. Had my appt 3 days later had mammogram, ultrasound and fine needle biopsy, went back 2 wks later all clear but want to see me again in September with view to removing the lump. It is easy for people to say dont worry obviously your brain goes into overdrive, but as the stats show 9 out of 10 lumps are nothing to worry about. Hope you get your appt soon, in the meantime do something you enjoy and try to keep busy. Hope all works out. K x

Ohno, how horrible for you. We’ve all been where you are, and many more people have been there but walked out of the clinic with nothing more to worry about.

But we share your worries.

Don’t google. Take a look at the Publications section of this site for information on what might happen at the clinic.

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION. If you are worried about something, ask. Get a notebook to write down your questions so you don’t fret about forgetting them.

Good luck.

CM
x

Ohno,
What a great name, it’s what most of us think!
Alternating between denial and panic is pretty normal at a time like this. Just keep repeating “most people do not have cancer” to yourself, and if it is getting to the stage of “But what if I do?” tell yourself you have acted as soon as you found it, and your GP has referred you on promptly and properly.
Read the info side of this site- reliable solid stuff. And why not phone the Helpline tomorrow morning as Janet suggested - they are lovely and are used to dealing with people who are worried. If you have to come and join us, you will find support and understanding and even a laugh-but we would much rather you came back and said “Sorry, I’m not joining you”
Lavender

Hi Ohno, glad u found this site , u won’t feel so alone while ur waiting for ur appt, and yes the waiting is the worst time. We’ve all done it & some of us have BC but an awful lot of people don’t. Doctors always err on the side of caution where breast lumps are concerned & a two week referral is standard practice. Post ur questions or worries on here & someone will be able to answer them or as the others said u can ring the helpline. Fingers crossed it will be nothing, let us know how u get on x

Hi all

I have read all your replys and I REALLY appreciate the kind words. I am at a bad place in my head, but you are so kind and understanding, that makes me feel like I’m not alone. I can’t put into words how I feel, I want to scream, I want to talk, I want … I don’t know… A hug ?

My other half wouldn’t talk about it and asked " what’s for tea"… Well that sent me into orbit !
I’m afraid I lost the plot and just screamed at him and called him all the heartless b,s under the sun. I just needed a hug and to be told, …i’t will be okay. Instead, he just walked out the door !

My son came around and talked to me, I may have ranted, I can’t remember. I will get there, and I may give the help line a ring, I want to run away, silly things go on in my head !

ohno!

i am sure your last post is going to be realy helpful to those women newly diagnosed that come onto this site, because that is exactly how so many people react, and they will be able to see that they are not alone in the way they feel.

i realy dont know why it evokes so many different emotions. Do people feel like this when they are waiting to find out if they have other serious diseases? Do they suffer unheard because they have not got a website like this. Or is somehow cancer more emotive than anything else.

Anyhow lots of people will tell you that the range of emotions is huge. some rant, some throw things, some go into denial, and some just want to jump into bed and pull the duvet over their heads, or go through all the emotions one after the other.

As to your other half, well his reaction is not unusual either.A few weeks back i started a thread about my OH not being the saint he should be. I think he had said something like " you are very difficult to deal with since you got cancer" which sent me off on a rage.

there were so many replies, some horrific, some funny. I still love the comment about somebody hurling pork pies around. I think the think is that they are men, and most of them look at things differently to us. My husband said he was not scared during the waiting for tests bit becuase the statistics said he had more reason to think it was going to be ok than not, so why upset yourself until the results are in, nothing can be helped by worrying. I think as well this worry was in my mind every waking minute, but not in his, he could forget and go off doing golf and going to business lunches, and when i reacted to that he just did not know how to deal with me.

Have you tried asking him just to hug you because you need it?? As choccie muffin says, men dont have crystal balls, and that might just work.

There is a thread 'my husband says cancer is taking over my life" i will try and bump it up for you.

My OH has been as supportive as he knows how. And after reading other peoples experiances I went and gave him a big hug, he is not so bad after all. And he is so pleased I have found this site, because I can keep coming on here and asking things or share things and it gets it out of my system, rather than bending his ear yet again

Hi Ohno (love the name)

Just to say that the best way for me to deal with the whole thing has been one step at a time.

I think when the breast clinic is mentioned your brain goes into overdrive and you’ve gone through the whole trauma in your head before you’ve even had your first appointment. That certainly happened to me.

It’s silly to say ‘don’t worry’ because you will and you can’t help it. Most lumps amount to nothing, it is the minority of lumps which turn out to be a problem.

Try and look as far as the first appointment, you don’t have a diagnosis of anything at present so try not to worry about what you don’t know.

GP’s send all people with breast lumps/problems to the Breast Clinic as a matter of course.

Just take a deep breath and try and get it all in perspective.

I won’t comment on your husband’s behaviour. There are others on this forum who are better qualified to help with that aspect.

This forum is terrific. Whatever problem you have there’s always someone on here who has been there and done it. Don’t be afraid to post. Sometimes it just helps to write down how you are feeling, it doesn’t have to be a question.

Sending you love and a huge hug.(((( x ))))

Jan xxxx

Oh dear, Ohno!
You really do need a hug-and a nice cup of tea-or a stiff drink?
While waiting for results I was mostly in denial, which saved me from being crazy all the time. But when I wasn’t in denial I was fairly crazy and if OH had told me everything would be OK I would have decked him!
So maybe your OH is in denial like me, maybe he daren’t say “You’ll be OK” give him time, give yourself time, and thank God you have your son there to talk to both of you!
Keep coming back here over the weekend and vent. And order in pizza
Love from Lavender

Aww bless you, everyone (((((((hugging you all)))))).

My son has popped in to see how I am…I am so lucky to have such a caring boy.

I am drinking endless tea and coffee, I’m drowning in the stuff :slight_smile:

Trying to watch the film on tv (mr chips) but it’s a good film waisted on me today.

oh jan how right you are, writing things down does help. the number of times i have started a thread on here and then found when i read it back I felt so much better having got it down in black and white and so deleted the comment.

I read a lot, to take my mind of the horror of it all. I have no idea what I read, as none of it went in and I had to re-read the pages often, but it was just anything to keep my brain busy. Even playing Sudoku or doing crosswords, just to give your brain a rest from the mad whirling it’s doing.

We’ve all found different ways to try to deal with it, but it’s the same horror that we all remember very clearly.

Get an emergency appt at your GP and ask for some help with sleeping if you’re find it a problem to turn your brain off at night, the middle of the night can be the worst time when all you want to do is cry and scream but you can’t because of other people in the house.

Hi OAL

I keep meaning to ask how your poor face is. You went a right cropper by the look of it. Was it last night when you were gigging?

On the subject of writing it down, you know the trouble I’ve had with my husband, when I was 8 months post op he announced that he was taking another woman out for the evening. You can imagine my reaction, but it didn’t stop him in fact there were two women and he carried on e-mailing them and meeting up in secret. Except one day he forgot to sign out of his emails!!! As you can imagine I was in a state everything going round and round in my head. I decided that I would write everything down. I sat at my computer and poured my heart out about everything, how let down I felt, what I thought of the two women who knew that he was married. It took ages.

I used to go back to it regularly and re-reading it helped to get my thoughts in order, I also used to change bits I wasn’t happy with, maybe they didn’t quite express how I felt on that particular day. Eventually I couldn’t improve it anymore and I thought, what a shame that it will sit here on my computer amd no one will read it, so I sent it to the two women and also to an agony aunt at a national newspaper!!!

That is the most theraputic thing I have ever done, I felt so empowered when I’d pressed the send button and yes I did get an edited version printed in the newspaper with an reply.

Writing is a great way to sort your thoughts into order. I still have my ‘writings’ and I still go back to them and they tell me how I have changed and how much stronger I am now.

CM I bought a Nintendo DS games consol for taking my mind off things. It’s also great for when you’re sitting at the hospital waiting to be called for your appt. Takes your mind off the tension in the room.

J

hi jan, yes it was my big gig last night. I didnt quite need a walking stick, but the band had to carry everthing for me because my knees were so bad. I picked the huge scab off my lip and covered the bloody bit undeneath with concealer, and trowelled on concealer round my eyes. I dont normally use products on my hair but i fluffed it round my face and laquared it to hell. My singer did a double take cos it did look quite good. Trouble is for various reasons I turned the fan off in the second half and after an hour of pouring with sweat i looked more like a witch than anything—but everyone was too drunk to notice by that time and anyway all the twenty year olds in the audiance think i look like a witch anyway. But it was a fantastic evening, i loved it. Cannot wait for the next one.

I cannot beleive how some men act, how could he do that?? Did you get any response from the women??

Hi OAL

Brilliant. Good on yer girl. The show must go on!! Glad you had a great evening. I’m sure you didn’t look like a witch. Many’s the time I’ve gigged on a wing and a prayer!!! Had some hilarious experiences though and met some fantastic people.

Yes one woman telephoned me!!! She told me that she had ovarian cancer and was scared it would return!!! ‘Very sorry to hear that’ I said, ‘but I would have thought you’d have understood my position in that case’. Said a few other things too which weren’t complementary. The other one disappeared apparently saying she wasn’t interested if there was going to be trouble. Nice.

I could write a book about his antics since my BC dx.(Makes me wonder what he got up to before) I don’t know why he behaves as he does but I nearly drove myself round the bend trying to work it out so now I dont bother I concentrate on myself.

It’s my problem not his. He is clearly very happy with what he’s doing and how he’s living his life. I have to decide how I feel about it and if we were the only two people left on earth I wouldn’t want him as my friend. What more can I say.

J

Hi ohno

what you are feeling is so normal well done you for going to your GP so quick, 9 out of 10 lumps are benign & hopefully yours will be. Im so sorry your OH isn’t being so understanding I did laugh when you said you went into orbit … been there done that several times myself.

everyone is so kind & supportive here & hopefully that will also help you if you feel you just need to let off steam, always someone here to lean on & with some wise words. Be kind to yourself hopefully you’ll have your appointment soon … if its a one stop clinic you’ll have some idea on the day either way you’ll have a clearer picture a week after. Right now just take one day at a time & good or bad you’ll not rember much as its all such a blur of worry & sleepless nights.

Im keeping everything crossed that you’ll be one of the ladies that posts with such relief that yours is benign

All the best
BIG HUGS to you

Mekala x

i to am waiting on a mammogram for a lump i found lastweek i sometimes reread all the comments and u feel part of something special people understand. i sincerely hope it all goes well an wont have to meet again on this page lol u no wot i mean xx