Hi Ladies. When people find out I have SC breast cancer they quite often say ‘but you’re so young’. I always say to them but there’s people alot younger than me. I am aged 47. I’ve recently started to appreciate the fact I am this age as so many people don’t make it to this age. I think about people for example like Caron Keating who died at aged 41 - she would have done anything to make 47 and have an extra 6 years with her sons or Princess Diana who died at 36. Likewise when I hear someone aged 58 who has SC breast cancer on this forum I think - If I next went to see my OC and he told me he had a tablet which would guarantee me getting to 58 I would come out of the room jumping for joy. I know it sucks what ever age we are. I think about Stephen Sutton who died at aged 19 and raised all that money for Teenage Cancers - he would have loved to have got to 47. I hope this hasn’t upset anyone but I just presumed I would make old age - like it was a right and I now I know I must appreciate the fact that I’ve reach the aged I have. Hoping to make 50 and have a big party. Sorry for rambling on. XX
I also seem to know and have lost friends much younger than say fifty. I was diagnosed in my very early 40’s with secondaries. Have lost friends in their very early 30’s and 40’s. Bit weird but even when I was a child I never thought I would die of old age, say seventy plus.
I often think about the age thing, I’m 44. I’ve reached the conclusion its not my age that I find so hard to deal with but the stage in my life. I had my children later (got a 6 year old and 2 year old), so the fact I won’t be able to parent til adulthood destroys me, if I had them in my twenties they’d be pretty much grown up and I could find some acceptance. I guess we just have to live the best we can and find what joy we can now, at least I no longer postpone the fun stuff, we are making our happy memories now.
I hear about people looking forward to grandchildren and I feel really jealous…then feel awful for begrudging others happiness, wish this disease made me a better person!
You start planning a fab 50th gigli!
Hi. Thanks for your comments. I agree about it being the stage of my life. I also get jealous about hearing about grandchildren. Some of my friends my age are already grandparents and although I love to hear about their grandchildren I think it was something I took for granted would happen for me in the future. Last night they announched the actress that plays Deidrea Barlow has died aged 60. In the office today at work I could hear my work colleagues saying that was no age and what a shame she was so young. I just sat and said nothing. I’d love to get to 60. People that don’t have Secondary cancer take their life for granted and just presume they will make old age. I used to. My mum is 81 and never really looked after her health but never got cancer. I find it hard juggling a 14 year daughter and a 81 year mother. I do my mums shopping and cleaning and then I’m driving my daughter around to her friends (all the normal stuff really) plus working 5 days a week. I wouldn’t mind if I thought I would have my time in the future. Anyway got to be postive - or so everyone tells me I should. X
I think that everyone wants more time,no matter how much they have had. I had my primary diagnosis 20 years ago at the age of 39 with my youngest son being only 6. I was, I realise now, incredibly lucky to have 14 years cancer-free before a series of local recurrences and a secondary diagnosis in July 2013. But I just want more time so badly. Like others, I feel so sad i am unlikely to see grandchildren, it really upsets me. I have set myself goals, to reach my 60th birthday later this year, to see my son get his Doctorate next year (he is involved with cancer immunotherapy research) and to do mad stuff like jumping competitions on my horse!!
Not very helpful I know, but I don’t think we feel ready whatever our age xx
Hi Gigli, is it ok if I PM you ?Don’t normally post much but I do visit the sight a lot to read the posts. I am not sure how to PM???no worries if not. Xxx
Hi Kazza
To send a private message:
Click on the username of the person you are sending a message to
Look to the right hand side of the users profile page and there is a grey tab ‘send this user a private message’- click here and a new page will open where you can type your message
Let me know if you have any problems using this
Best wishes
Lucy BCC
Easy when you know how! ?
You’re welcome Kazza
Just wanted to echo what everyone has said on here…i was 47 when i was first diagnosed and said at the time if (everyone else said ‘when’) i get to 50 i’m having a big party…which i did. Little did i know then that i already had skin mets…they were misdiagnosed from the January to July). I agree totaly that its the thought of not seeing your children grow up, get married, have children etc. I’ve lost count of the times i’ve cried thinking of it. I find it so hard to ‘live for today’ and not think about the future but you lovely ladies always seem to come up with some inspiration. Its reassurring to know others feel the same although i wish none of us had to be here.