does somebody up there have it in for me??

i am coping with my little lump. I am coping on advising my neices on the probablilty of their mother having alcohol induced dementia,and the best way to get assesed, an just listening to the latest set of symtoms and worrying behavior.

But now on top of that I think my husband has parkinsons. i was in court the day before yesterday and happened to overhear a conversation about someone partner with Parkinsons and thought oh no! that describes all the recent worries I have had about my husband to a T. looked it up on a website and yes it ticks the boxes. Had a quick meeting with the lady who I overheard today, and yes it looks like that is what he has. Got an appointment with the doc tomorrow. He is in denial. but has agreed because I shouted for once and said i did not need this worry hanging over me at the moment.

parkinsons is not the end of the world, not curable, but symptoms very tteatable. But could hav done with finding out about it at a differnet time

Oh, OAL, what a horrendous set of circumstances you are having to deal with, I have no words of wisdom to offer, but wanted to offer whatever support I can. You are obviously a supportive sister, aunt and wife - I hope very much that if you are right your husband gets the treatment that minimises his symptoms quickly and also that you find yourself in a position where you can devote some time to care for yourself.
Cyber hugs - wish I could share a bottle of wine and my big but supportive ears -
monica xxx

thanks daisyleaf, just about to get this lazy body out of bed and set off to the docs with him. Almost as scary as the first time i went with my lump.

Lots and lots of hugs, love and luck.

I’ll be thinking about you both today.


thinking of you today at the Drs… you are right, it never seems to rain, but it pours. You asked about someoe up there having it in for you… all i can say from my experience is that same person up there gives us the strength to cope - and when we look back, we’ll be amazed at what we DID cope with. You’re an amazing lady… hang on in there…one day at a time… have a virtual hug, and know our ears are always here for you… Jane

Youngandfunky, life doesn’t stop chucking rubbish at us when we get diagnosed, it keeps on coming. I know what you mean with worrying about your OH. Six days before I started chemo my OH had open heart surgery (scary or wot!) so that was a bit of a, erm “distraction” that I could’ve done without!

Thing is, life does just keep on, we still get colds, other people still get sick, life-changing crises still happen, and the BC is just one more thing to dump on top of the pile of crap we have to get through.

Keep strong, and if you need to fall apart a bit feel free to do so on here. There are plenty of people who can’t do a bloomin’ thing to help practically, but being able to offload and shout and scream can be a tremendous help.

Best of luck for today and onwards.


Hi!!! Cyber hugs and virtual wine coming your way - and your OH!
Sadie Xx

OAL sorry to hear your news. I’ve found that this forum site invaluable, great to share our inner thoughts with and it helps so much to know they help just by being there. So I endorese all that went before and offer virtual hug and a glass of something special.Chris xx

OAL, It’s my view that sh*t just happens, it’s totally random, and sometimes it just rains down on you by the bucket load. It’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. Unfortunately you are going through a heavy storm of it at the moment.

My mother was taken ill very suddenly in 2006, and died a few weeks later. It was all very stressful, it was over Christmas, logistically it was difficult as she lived on her own and my brother and I live in different parts of the country. I felt that I was only just about holding it all together. Then three weeks after she died I was dx with BC at 44. It was a surreal time.

The answer is that you get through everything by taking it a day at a time, and only dealing with today’s issues and not worrying about tomorrow.

Best wishes to you and your family to get through all this together.

thanks everyone.Dr think it is not Parkinsons but has refered him to a neurologist. Said appointment will not be till october, whatever is wrong with him is very slow and gradual and so nothing much will change between now and then. That give me a clear space to get on with ops and getting better.

onwards and upwards!

October seems a long time to wait - do you have any insurance you could use to get in a bit sooner?

OAL -sorry to hear your husband is having problems. It does sometimes feel like everything happens at once and it’s hard to cope with.

I agree that’s a very long wait to see a neurologist, I’m really surprised.

The other thing is to go for a private consultation if you can afford it. They are usually around £150 to £200. The only thing is that if they decide on anything like scans etc that would be more although sometimes the doctors are lovely and let you switch to NHS for those.

Elinda x

yes the doctor also referred us to a neurologist who specialises with movement problems. Bit more expensive than quoted here, but he seems the right chap–his next available appointment is August!!! scans and medication are abit outside our budget, but if he agrees it is Parkinsons then we will have our national health clinic appointment in October for any necessary tests.

Good - August sounds a lot better than October. At least you’ll have some idea following the consultation even if your husband needs more tests. Elinda x

Really glad the dx does not appear to be Parkinsons - but do you want to wait to October? I’ve cut in and out of NHS and private treatment (don’t have private insurance) to try to get clearer dx sooner in the past. Makes my husband’s recent Type 2 diabetes dx seem minor - it is to me, but not to him… but we are now both on a super healthy eating regime with both curtailing sugar so maybe there’s a silver lining…

Thinking of you with your op

Glad to know the doctor doesnt think its parkinsons, hope you get some answers soon.

I know the feeling of someone having it in for me!! I have had bowel, bladder, gynae, and knee surgery all in the last year and then got the cancer! I am waiting for the equivalent of a knee replacement and I am only in my forties! My husband has had a ruptured bowel, mum with cancer, then a hip that got really infected, two members of my family with mental health issues, and to top it all I have fallen badly today and my ankle is so swollen. I refuse to go to A & E as have had enough of hospitals, but would quite like him up there to give me a break!


I absolutely know how you feel with the cloud over your husbands health at the moment.

While I was still undergoing treatment my husband had an epileptic fit, he was at the time 64 and had never had a fit in his life. He immediately had his driving licence withdrawn which made getting to work difficult and robbed him of his independance.We thought it was a one off caused by the stress of my DX but 3 months later he had another one. He had been given an urgent referral to a neurologist which was not until 6 months later. With a letter from our GP we saw someone privately within a week. It cost us £125 and he was started on tablets which our GP was happy to continue. We eventually saw the NHS consultant who did actually agree that we had done the right thing. Life was not meant to be like this - 3 years ago we were both healthy, now I have a history of BC and he has late onset epilespsy, but we are both still here and we have had to get used to the new normal.

You will cope, its just very scary at the moment

Take care,


yes you are all correct.Not jut me being picked out. Lots of people having a bad time, Just because we are here does not give us a free pass to all othe lifes little knocks.

i am closely following another thread about what to eat and what to avoid to stop cancer, mmmm, will that stop me being picked on/

me and my husband have just had a wonderful evening with close friends, too many bottles of wine a wonderful meal with too much fat (healthy organic grass fed pork) and too much dairy (who can resist all that chees) Lots of laughs, lots of stories about absent friends, and so now I think if all this shit is going to come our way anyway what is the point of listening to the diet gurus. why not continue to enjoy a full rich life and enjoy what we have between avoiding the arrows that fate hurls at us.

Probably a bit late and in my cups. it was supposed to be a posative sounding comment.

Glad you had a good evening, and hope your head’s ok this morning!



I follow the thread you’re talking about and I don’t think any of us on it think that eating the way we do will stop cancer, we’re not that simple. None of us eat the same way, we eat what we enjoy and try and make the best decisions for us given the information we can find and share. Basically it’s just about very healthy eating, fresh food, good ingredients. We believe this should give our bodies a better chance of dealing with cancer and coping with chemo than a less healthy diet. I don’t care if there’s no ‘scientific proof’ for this, it just seems to be stating the bl**ding obvious. Some of us avoid dairy, some of us don’t. No big deal. There are plenty of vegans in the world. I know it’s very polarising, and we take our knocks. I’m not criticising or mocking anyone who eats or drinks differently. I also have a rich full life. We certainly don’t think we’ve found the cure for cancer or a magic wand to keep away evil spirits.