Dear all - I’m in a quandry - I was dx in September 09, Grade 3, no nodes involved, HER2+. I can’t remember the hormone figures exactly but I think he said +3 for one and +5 for the other. The also said something about vascular invasion.
Since then as some of you will know I have had surgery 1.8 tumour, clear margins. I’ve had 4 x EPI, 2 x Tax and 2 x CMF (Allergic to Tax hence the change, 19 rads. All of which I am now getting over and starting to build my health. I am taking Tamoxifen and getting Herceptin every three weeks for the next year.
so … do I ask my ONC what my survival chances are or do I just accept that I have done what I can and take each day as it comes - the first Mam is in September. I don’t want to (potentially) upset myself or OH without cause and equally if he says outlook is poor what can I do about other than take the medicine so to speak ?? also I know from this fabulous forum that there are loads of us who have had very poor prognosis who are still here living life 10+ years on.
Hmmmm - any thoughts ? I’m 45 and before September had never been in a hospital in my life ! now I feel as though I live there… R
Hi RECS
Not sure if this’ll help or not but this is how I dealt with it.
I never asked my oncologist or any medical personnel what my survival chances were - I just didn’t want to hear it but one thing that always helped me get through the treatment was when I first met the oncologist and he told me what my treatment plan was - he said I’m considering the treatment I’m giving give you to be curative treatment. That has always stayed with me and I still hold onto that now.
The thing is, if you ask the question you then have to live with what you’ve been told and if you don’t ask the question then you may be left wondering. I didn’t want to know and never asked the question and really tried to believe that I’d be ok - I just had to be ok that’s the way I thought.
I had lymph node involvement and grade 3 IDC and was HER2+ and a lump of 4-5cm.
Ruby x
Hi Recs,
There is a stats calculation thing on one of the threads here, if you want. But doing it or asking your chances, is a different kettle of fish. They are only “stats” and we are “people”. Do you want to know if you will be run over by a bus tomorrow ? Would it make a difference ?. Live your life to the full, make the most of each day. Be happy that you know how precious life is, some people never realize how much it means.
Hugs to you
Maria
I just posted this on another post and then thought it was quite appropriate here also:
It’s funny isn’t it how once diagnosed with breast cancer how obsessed we are with life and living yet prior to this we never give it a second thought. Each day we jump in a car or walk to the shops, work etc. and never give it a moments thought, that actually we are 20 times more likely to die from an accident than from breast cancer (statistics from 2007). The poor people shot in Cumbria this week never for one moment on waking up that day thought, ‘I could die today’.
Worrying about the outcome of things well never change that outcome, all it will do is take your mind and time away from other things that you could be doing and enjoying. I am a great believer in fate, I have had three car accidents in my life and each one potentially fatal and each one I have walked away from.
Unfortunately life has no guarantees and neither has the oncologist. All we can do is accept what we have been given and enjoy what we have.
I can only offer my personal opinion, but I think the stats are irrelevant.
They give you 5 & 10 year survival rates, but the regime you had probably wasn’t available 5 or 10 years ago…and how many of the ladies used to predict mortality had exactly the same type, stage and grade as you??
I think you have to live each day as it comes & cross each bridge as you come to it. Why stress yourself out about something that may or may not happen?
I knew from the start my prognosis wasn’t good…when your surgeon says that they all have everything crossed for you, that’s kinda indication in itself!
I was unfortunate enough to develop a regional recurrance 3 weeks after chemo & then secondaries 4 weeks after rads…no time to catch my breath! I’m now on chemo for life…and although it was devastating to hear & difficult to get my head round…I can’t do anything about the position I’m in, so I don’t dwell on what’s going to happen next week or the week after…I enjoy the here & now!
Everything about this disease is so unpredictable & everyones cancer behaves in a different way, so I don’t see how a computer system can accurately predict chances of survival.
RECS whatever the stats say, there are loads of things you can do yourself to improve your chances - you don’t have to just rely on the medicine. I would recommend anybody with cancer reads Dr David Servan-Schreiber’s “Anti Cancer - A new way of Life”, and Professor Beliveau and Dr Gingras “Foods that fight cancer”. These are well researched books by serious scientists with easy practical advice on how to improve your prognosis with simple diet and lifestyle changes.
Just wanted to share a couple of points. I was naughty and went onto adjuvant online ( I know I’m not supposed to but am sure the internet police are too busy to hunt down sneeky cancer patients) I typed my stats in and got my results. It was useless because it cannot tell me how I, how my body, will react to treatment.
I tried to talk to my surgeon about it. He said statistics are useless for you there is only 1- you will live or zero you will not. Would 65% help you live your life better? what about 75% would you be happier. We now live daily with unceratinty. All we know is that now at this moment we are alive. It is actually the same for everyone, other people just don’t think about it the way we do. No one has guarantees.
You guys ROCK ! Thanks for all of this - I have read everything here and went for a walk and concluded that you are all absolutely right - there is no point and nothing to be gained from having the discussion - call me chicken if you will but I’m just going to take each day and love it
Hi Recs
as you know, we’re at about the same stage of treatment. I ended up getting my stats a few months ago, and posted about them on another thread on here somewhere - but have since forgotten the actual numbers. As the others have said, they shouldnt make a real difference to how we live our lives. The data is old, and my onc told me that it also does not include the impact of herceptin either, which obviously gives us an improved chance.
Just that pesky year of herceptin now, eh? I’m a third of the way through my 18 but it still feels like the treatment never ends…
I was asked if I wanted to know the changes of reoccurance at the same appointment I was told I would be having chemo. At the time I said no, however now chemo and rads aree over I was considering asking. I am so glad that you put this question up and you have had the answers that have been given as it has made me think whether I really do want to know. I think sometimes ignorance is bliss and may be this is one those occasions.
