I have just started this thread as i was sad to read that Vodka has had such a sad time with friends and family turning their back on her, expecially at a time when friendship and support is needed. I have not been diagnosed yet get results monday - at last, but that’s another story. but i have found that the support that i have had from the friends and family who know to be invaluable. However i do have a friend that i was really close to and we had a fall out over such a silly thing well a man to be precise - I know how stupid. There were other little niggilly things which now seem so unimportant. Now this led to us not speaking we both said things that hurt each other, I would have liked to make peace with her but although she said that she still cared for me and wanted to be part of my future but not my past she felt that she had to distance herselp from me. When i was recalled and going through these tests i missed her terriblly. a mutual friend was finding it hard not to tell her about me when she asked how i was and was scared that she would let it slip. I though that i would e-mail her and let her know i would have liked to go to see her but was not sure how she would have reacted. Anyway she said that she was sorry to hear that i had been recalled and that our friend shouldn’t have felt awkward and that she would speak to her she wished me well and that was it. I sent her another e-mail to let her kno that i had my core biopsy and was waiting for the result she did not reply. Now that i have started the email with my progress i feel that i will send her one more with my result and as she did not reply to the other one i doubt that i will get a reply to it. I miss her friendship and there were faults on both sides i admit, but i want her friendship because she wants to be my friend and not pity for what i am going through. We are due to go to Peru next year to walk the Inca Trail for BC what do i do if she doesn;t want to get in touch. Mabye we didn’t have the friendship that i thought we had. I only knew her for a year mabye we didn’t know each other well enough. I really am somebody who is a good friend and value friendships and family. Am i rambling or does this make sense to anybody. Vodka be yourself and although it hurts don’t lower yourself to their level but do take a step back people will soon realise that they will probably need you before you need them. XX