Hello. I am 42 with 2 small children. My life changed last Monday. I had a lump on One side and thankfully that’s ok. However they found extensive dcis on other side during mammogram. I have no lump. 2 rounds of biopsies later ( 1st lot didn’t get any ducts) but I was told that I need a mastectomy from the outset. I am medical and I think they forgot that I am a terrified young woman and didn’t deliver the news in the gentlest of ways. Worse still my husband wasn’t there.
I get the second lots results tomorrow.
I’ve cried almost continuously since last Monday. I’ve scared its invasive and that I’m going to die and my girls 5&7 will not have a mother.
I’ve accepted the need for mastectomy and have asked for a bilateral as the other one has caused problems for a few years.
I would prefer an immediate reconstruction but am confused at what’s best. Not sure I’ll cope with no boobs. Frightened I’ll need chemo. Don’t know what to tell the children , have said mummy’s boobs are poorly so far.
It fills every waking moment. I wake up and remember it’s not a dream and start crying again.
Trying to be cheery but it’s just so hard.
Hi Shauna72
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support. I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc. As well as the support you are receiving on the forums you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:- www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/resource-pack-primary-early-breast-cancer-bcc145
Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Thank you so much for your email. It really had helped. I feel calmer this week. At least now we can focus on the op. On thurs they said def dcis high grade and still mastectomy. No evidence of invasion on biopsies which is positive. Will await final histology.
Everyone has been so kind. Focussing on charlottes 6 th birthday tomorrow and making a frozen cake ( hilarious!) . Seeing recon surgeon sat before her party
Just want op over and done with
How long did it take you to recover from your op? S x
Hi Shauna,
I know its a scary time right now - I am 2 years post diagnosis - but still remember my diagnosis day like it was yesterday.
How did you get on with the 2nd lot of results?
I didnt have immediate recon post mx, I couldnt due to a blood clot. But I have accepted my new body…
If you would like to speak to other ladies in a similar position and are on facebook - I help admin Younger Breast Cancer Network… All our ladies are 45 or under…
Feel free to request to join - I have found the group a life saver!
Rae
x
Hi Rae
Thank you very much for your message. Having a bad day today. My daughter was 6 yest which kept me busy. They said high grade dcis with comedo necrosis which is what upset me when I looked it up. Having it done in Nott rather than hosp where I work. Just want it over with. Frightened I won’t be vv brave
Would like t join group. Not v savvy with computer forums. How do I do that? Shauna x
Hi Shauna, I just joined site yesterday and came across your post from the other week,I do sympathise it is overwhelming and like you mentioned I got very anxious about what to tell my kids. I am 41 with 2 children aged 8 and 10, I was diagnosed May- 2 lumps had Mastectomy in June. Obviously ages and personalities of children vary and that depends on what you would do but I found advice from my breast care nurse and booklets she gave me from Breastcancer care.org.uk helpful one particularly on talking with children(sorry cant locate at mo) also sent off for free story book called Mummy’s lump you can read it online to see if suitable-depending on what treatment you have. I started like you saying I had poorly boobs and I had had injections in them as very sore after biopsies and subsequent infection this helped me as it was true and they asked lots of questions. When I knew everything we did tell ours and at the advice of friends (some also in medical profession) we used cancer word and then pre epmted my daughter’s question/fear of me dying (as she has read books and known people who have died from cancer) by explaining that where my cancer was and my operation meant they could take it away. Anyhow, wanted you to know am thinking of you and hope your op goes well. I hope you’ve got lots of friends and family to help with lifts etc, I learnt (something I was previously very bad at) to say yes to offers of help and think of how certain people could help, some of best things were meals delivered by rota of very kind mums ( also helpful now as mid chemo) and my lovely mum paying for a cleaner immediately post op. Sorry this is long and waffly hope some help.Take care. Love Sorbet
Hi Shauna
Here’s the link to the Mummy’s lump book sorbet kindly mentioned:
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/mummys-lump-bcc164
Take care
Lucy BCC