Driving myself mad

I found a lump in my left breast about 6 weeks ago. I waited until I had had a period before I went to my doctors in case it changed size/shape. She confirmed that she could feel it and that it went quite deep (didn’t think to ask what that meant).

My appointment for the breast clinic is on Tuesday and I’m going out of my head with worry.  I’m off my food which is very unlike me and I’m struggling to sleep and concentrate at work.

My husband has been reall supportive but I can tell he’s scared. I’ve told one of my friends at work but no one else.

Ive googled ‘breast lump’ hundreds of times as if it will give me an answer but I know I have to wait til Tuesday.

I feel like my life is on hold until I get seen in clinic…hubby wants to book a holiday but I can’t think about it right now.

Sorry to ramble on but I need to get this stress of my chest (excuse the pun!) and would love some tips on surviving this wait xx

rainbow dreams


Hello and welcome, well you have come to the right place to get help and support from this lovely forum.


You are not rambling you are worried and your anxiety levels are high at the moment because it is fear of the unknown.  We know exactly how you feel and it is quite natural, we have all gone through it.


Easier said than done I know, do not google generally you will only get out of date misinformation which will only add to your anxiety and to be honest until you know what, if you are, dealing with   Try as much as you can to keep yourself busy and do some nice things .


Remember that there are many other breast conditions it could be and not necessarily cancer, breast clinics are not just for cancer.  IF however, and it is a big IF it is bc is one of the most treatable and the outlook is very good.  You will see on here how many ladies who have been in the same position as you when they have been to the clinic, it has turned out to be a benign condition.


Come on here as much as you need or want, there is always someone here who will be able to help and support you. 


Sending you a hug


Helena xxx

rainbow dreams,

It’s the hardest thing in the world, isn’t it? I’m fresh off of the worry rollercoaster right now. I got my biopsy results yesterday. I thought for sure it was bad news. It’s weird that each day that went by, I was able to prepare myself for the worst and it did get easier. Easier in a sense that I was sure I’d fight like a beast!!! I still cried, yes. When I looked at my kids or my mom and sister who were so worried, it pulled at my heart strings a lot!! But I had to be strong. I honestly wanted to sleep through the whole wait. So, your feelings are NORMAL!! I hoped for the best but prepared for the worst and second worst. I have my honeymoon planned next week and couldn’t look forward to it at all!!! As soon as you get your results, BOOK THAT VACATION!! I hope that all will be fine for you!! Good thoughts!! don’t let the bad thoughts breed, lady! xxoo Renee

Thank you so much ladies for replying and your kind words.

I spent 2 hours reading old forum threads last night and realised that what I’m feeling is ‘normal’ but you still feel like you’re the only person in the world going through it.  For every 1 piece of good advice on Google there are about 10 pieces of rubbish but you find yourself believing everything even though I’m a grown woman!

I’m trying to keep busy but I’m losing interest in all my hobbies I have as I feel like there’s no point at the moment.  The only thing that is helping is gardening as I’m currently ripping out loads of rose bushes and that’s helping with my pent up fustration!!

Now sat at work but my mind keeps wandering and I’m snapping at people for no reason.  I’ve started to tidy up various loose ends in case I don’t come back to work after my appointment on Tuesday…how stupid is that!!!

Ok, I’m rambling again so I’d better go and do some work!  Thank you again for welcoming me and I’ll keep popping on to rant when I need to.

Sending love and hugs to everyone waiting for results or preparing for their battle with bc xx

Thank you Ladybowler.  I will promise to stay off Google!

The roses in my garden are certainly coming up a bit quicker the closer I get to my appointment!!

I’ll see how I feel about work on Wednesday.  Ironically I work in a hospital and send out 2ww gynaecology appointments all the time.  I hadn’t appreciated just how long 2 weeks is when you’re fearing the worst.  On a positive side, it’s making me much more understanding when speaking to patients and trying to empathise with them.

Right now I just want to burst into tears but I don’t think I could stop xx  Might get a few dodgy looks from patients as well!!


Rachel xx

Wow…what a rewarding job that must be.  I work in a Women’s Unit so deal with everything from Early Pregnancy through to Gynae Oncology…every day is different.


I finish work soon then I’m going to take out my fustration on the roses!


Thanks again for being there xx

Hey I’m in same boat, biopsies yesterday along with 2 scans and 2 mamograms. Nice to know you are not alone Hun. I’m **bleep**ting myself for results next Wednesday. Been crying all day xx

Also my OH is brilliant doesn’t show he’s worried but by the look on his face I know he is. I haven’t told my 17 year old daughter either. We told her he had day off yesterday as he has high cholesterol as he eats too much ???

SJC1103…my heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine what the waiting is like after you’ve had all the scans.  My initial appointment is on Tuesday and it’s bad enough waiting for that.

OH sounds like yours…not saying much but I can feel he’s changed. He’s afraid of touching my breasts in case he hurts me…I’ve deliberately not told him which one has the lump in case he goes off it!!!

We were never able to have children (that’s a sob story for a different forum) so at least I don’t have that to worry about. 

Sending hugs and love…I don’t believe in false platitudes. What will be will be and you face the hand you’ve been dealt. 

I think what ladybowler said about crying is good advice…let it out.  I have a feeling that I’ll spend most of Tuesday crying, whether it’s good news or bad!!

Keep in touch xx

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Thank you Hun. I told my OH, he’s the opposite in keeps grabbing my breasts but for me they are my enemy right now! I think in his head he’s showing it makes no difference. In mine I hate it. He’s doing it in a loving way but even so I could punch him lol. Men eh? But he has been great. Tomorrow at 4pm is D Day. Having a couple of glasses of wine tonight, probably not the best idea but who cares lol x

Lady bowler I used to be admin too. I took a pay cut and now with kids who have severe mental health issues, most are detained, I work on s secure unit. Most days they try to hurt me or seriously hurt themselves. It’s stressful, pays **bleep** but I wouldn’t change it! 2014 I list my best mates son at 29 to a brain tumour, 6 months later his 13 month old daughter to bone cancer a month after that my 44 year old cousin to stomach cancer (she was like my sister and left behind 2 kids), made me change things up massively xxx

I work on a secure unit Hun for 12 to 18 year old girls all detained under the mental health act. It’s hard but very rewarding. I trained in the legalities of mental health. Used to work in s bank lol x

Thank you. I appreciate it more than you know. I’ll let you know. Bit scared tonight lol xx thank you again xx

I had my appointment yesterday and found out my lump was just a benign cyst.  Sooooo relieved. The doctor drained it there and then cos it was 3.5cm big. 20ml of yucky looking fluid came out but I never felt a thing.

I’ve taken the day off work to get myself back together again.  Thank you to everyone for their support.


sjc1103…good luck for your appointment xx