Hello all! Hoping for some info on what I’ll be able to do post op - I know everone is different but in general…what should I expect?? i’m 44, having a LD flap recon with axillary clearance. I have 2 teenagers who seem incapeable of using their legs ( I know - just say ‘no lifts!’) and a 3 year old who cuddles a lot, can’t get into her car seat on her own, nor onto the loo on her own yet. When can I drive again!!!
Thanks for all info!!
Td x
Hi, I’m not sure about the recon aspect, but after my mastectomy I drove after about 4 weeks. I only felt comfortable when my arm was strong enough to do the gears! After axillary clearance about 3 weeks. Better to check with your nurse. All the best. Liz x
Hi, I had a TRAM recon and the everyone at the hospital said any recon - no driving for 6 weeks, YOU WON’T BE INSURED!
Just tell the teenagers to make sure they wear comfy shoes cos there’s no alternative. If you put it to them that it’s their way of helping they might feel better.
Sorry about you being one of us, but good luck and take care
Marilyn x
Hi,
I had LD flap recon with some lymph node removal on 2nd April. I haven’t driven yet, as again, the hospital recommended 6 wks and my insurance company said that they would expect me to follow my doctors’ recommendation.
As to lifting young children, the hospital do urge you not to left anything too heavy - I struggled with a kettle in my right hand for the first couple of weeks. However, after nearly 4 weeks I was able to lift my friend’s 3 yr old boy - but not for long. I’m sure cuddles would be fine as long as she can climb in to your lap and be careful not to push too hard against your reconstructed breast as it will be quite tender and bruised. I’m sure somebody with young children will let you know how they managed.
Wishing you all the best with your surgery and recovery. I’m really pleased with how mine looks.
Zoe
Hi Td
I am 40 and I drove 7 weeks after my recent mast and immediate LD recon and I only managed short journeys at first. My partner is a traffic cop and he warned me about not driving until fit. As Marilyn says your insurance company may not pay out and it is an offence to drive whilst not fit and carries a very heavy penalty. You will need to be able to perform an emergency stop and change direction quickly if required.
My teenage son has become very used to using buses and now gets the bus to school permanently (voluntary) which is saving me a fortune in petrol. I think the girls from the nearby school must use the same bus!
I can’t really comment on lifting a 3 year old but I imagine it will be a few weeks before lifting into the car seat, maybe a bit sooner onto the loo.
Good luck with your op, I am due to have my other side done next month.
Jackie.
Thank you all.
Had final cons appt today. Over the last few weeks I have progressed from ’ i don’t think there’s a problem here’ to ‘well, knock me down with a feather, you were right’ to ‘you have DCIS and meed a mx’ to ‘ah ha, there’s another suspicous area here’ to you have grade 3 ibc. Eventually, 9 weeks hence, op is on 12th may!. Chemo 7 rads will follow.
Have explained to kids that they can help by using their feet and not nagging my OH for lifts (they can ask their own dad!)
The little on is now being trained! Have got more accessible car seat, but it does occur to me that I won’t have to lift her in will i, because I won’t be driving!!!
Not looking forward tolooking like Gollum… msut get my eyebrows done…
Td x
Hi TD
I have just read this and want to say how sorry I am about your recent diagnosis. I remember your threads because you originally had DCIS which I have. I wish you well in your treatment - you always sound so upbeat about everything, I am sure you will be OK
best wishes
Cathy
xx
Hi Waitingangel
I think I have followed you from ‘have I got…’ to this section also. Im having a masectomy on Thursday. Been fighting with my hospital since I wanted a recon at the same time since they think that it is localised to the nipple area (pagets). However, it appears that they dont do immed recons very often there, and now I cant waste any more time.
So, have made a big decision, to keep on track.
I may have ‘surprises’ after the onslaught of my left boob since ‘we’ had problems find any further information. They dont think I have any masses, so dont know grades, stages or anything… just that I have microcalc behind the nipple. Its hard to accept that I need a full mastectomy, but I dont have a choice.
Im with you WaitingAngel!
Lisa
Hey Lisa!!
I do wish i could get on line earlier in the day. I’m always one of the last to post and my login is everywhere as last message!!
my husband bought me a book, The Boudica Within (£14.95 amazon) It’s fantastic. It’s the journey of 23 women with bc from diagnosis to recon. Some recons are done years later. Take a look. it’s inspiring.
Crappy though isn’t it when the services don’t exist in your area. or you don’t get ‘allocated’ the surgeon you’d like. It feels like we have no choices - maybe we just don’t know how to use the system! And I work in it!!
I shall think of you on Thursday. I hav pre op that day.
On saturday my daughter & I are having a ‘Comings & Goings’ party, to celebrate her boobs coming (she’s 13 on thurs) and to say goodbye to one of mine… we have invited 150 people to come along with breasts decorated to celebrate women. So i hope the weather’s good, or the house may be a bit crowded!!!
Yes, I’m upbeat. It’s the way I cope. even when knocked back, it doesn’t take long for me to mind a positive spin on things. I think that living with an abusive alcoholic for 17 years helped, because before I left him i never knew life & love could be SO GOOD. I’m thankful for all I’ve got.
keeping you in the light for Thursday Lisa, and all of you on your journeys too. Remember, when it’s dark, there’s always someone holding a candle for you.
BIG LOVE Td xxxx
Hi WaitingAngel
I cant believe you have such strength of character!
Ive already been in touch with the Elaine Sassoon clinic. I was told that if I wanted to be treated there I can be but even privately I need a first consultation which is late May!
With all the delays so far with diagnosis and plastic surgeon, I feel that I cant wait any longer. My Gp has advised me to go ahead with my mast this week, and then decide where I want to go for the recon.
I waited 10 days for appt with a plastic surgeon to tell me that ‘yes I was fit enough’, and ‘suitable for a DIEP’ but the breast surgeon didnt want me to have the immed recon. He actually told me that he had spoken to her, and had to call her immediately after speaking to me! Adding that he had a 4 months waiting list and wouldnt perform it privately since he needed a team to support him only available under the NHS! I had wasted 10 days!
I just dont understand this - I just feel bullied into it. Do you know that at this “Unniversity hospital” they only did 2 immed recons last year… and it appears to me that it is the breast surgeon who controls this! I had been under the impression that the PS would have given me an independant second opinion - but thats not how it worked!
I am angry… so angry with my breast surgeon, and she is the one with the knife!
I really dont want to go ahead with this mast without a recon or without a clinical reason why!
I have pagets of the nipple.
Lisa
Lisa - found that other thread I was talking to you on! - my own! So not DCIS but pagets.
It is a NICE guideline that all patients should be considered for immediate recon after breast surgery.
What is your hospital playing at?
No such thing as parity in the NHS is there?
Still got my candle lit for you lady. Stay strong!
Where are you?? I’m in Bristol.
Td x
Hi Waitingangel
Im in Middlesbrough. The hospital is supposed to be a University Hospital also - James Cook.
My breast surgeon just walked out of the room when I mentioned recon… then had to wait 10 days to see plastic surgeon.
Then that was a waste of time… he told me that he had a letter from my surgeon and spoken to her, and that he was speaking to her directly after the appt.
Told me that I was suitable for the tummy-recon that I wanted, but wouldnt do it immed cos of my surgeons wishes - WHAT ABOUT MY WISHES!
Having said that, my surgeon is a no-nonsense woman and good at what she does - she’s not a psychologist, or plastic surgeon. The plastic man also told me he had 3 failed recons since Nov (which didnt instill me with confidence!)
I have a private health scheme also (work) but cant even get anyone to use it. The plastic man wont consider it privately cos he needs the NHS backup.
Its just got to the point now where I dont want to wait any longer to get the tissue out of me - and the only way to do it, is just to do as I am told!
(Im on a rant again!)
Been to M&S to buy a selection of bras… no masectomy bras in though!
Pre-op tomorrow.
Ive been ok for a couple of days except for the odd few tears. Even went to a 40th party in Derby yesterday, but the pre-op will put in back in the forefront again tomorrow!
Thanks for your encouragement! Party sounds cool by the way!
Lisa
Lisa, I am horrified at your plastic surgeon’s attitude. My first reaction to the dx and proposed mastectomy was not to have anything else done but the breast surgeon urged me to see the plastic surgeon, twice, and he gently and convincingly put the pros and cons so by the end I was absolutely sure I wanted the immediate DIEP reconstruction. I had it done under BUPA but still had to go to the main hospital as they don’t do plastics (actually it isn’t plastic, but skin grafting) at the BUPA hospital. I had to wait for a Saturday op as that’s the only day those two surgeons can work together, it was three weeks after dx and two weeks after seeing the plastic surgeon. I’m in Cambridge and appalled that there is such a difference in other areas. Can you be referred elsewhere? Lyn xxx
I would just say also that I got Elaine Sassoon’s book before seeing my plastic surgeon and raved about it to him, suggesting he should have copies of it in his office. He was, shall we say, dismissive: “It’s a picture book, anyone could do that.” Much later, at a post-op clinic, his nurse consultant explained there is a lot of professional competitiveness, my surgeon would have been qualifying around the same time as Elaine, he could not be seen to endorse another surgeon! Peacock-feather stuff if you ask me, but still I’m delighted to have been his patient!
What is it with surgeons and throwing their toys out of the pram?? Why can’t they just know their limitations and be prepared to referr on if something is outside their sphere?? They are only mere mortals like ourselves… oh yes - and what happened to following NICE guidelines???
Td x
Hi Td
Having ‘spoken’ on another thread I though I’d come and say hello on yours! Re the driving - I just sold my car before Dx as I didn’t use it (I live in centralish London) so that one thing I dont have to worry about, but as for lifting/little ones, not sure how its going to work, I’ve started counting how much of this I do - its a lot! Also I apparently can’t push a pram for a while, so I’ll have to take a helper everywhere…
As for the business of what surgeons will / won’t do following a masectomy (Hi Lisa!) I am having an implant - nothing else offered at this stage despite ther being the potential for radiotherapy afterwards and my breasts not being particually small or, er pert. I rased this with the doctor and BCN (I have a thread in Reconstruction) but his was what they offered and well when it comes to it I just want treatment to start. It just amazes me how much difference there is across the country.
Helenx
Hi Ladies
Im taking all I said back…
Well, I had a scare yesterday - a scare that I had secondaries. A real prospect of dying very young and leaving my son behind me was unbearable.
It was all put into perspective for me… all I wanted yesterday was to have JUST the bc.
On Wed at 12 noon, the day before my mast, I had been with my hynotherapist talking about loosing a breast and surgery… we spent over 2 hours together working through it - this was a big issue for me - this was something I couldnt handle; my worst nightmare (or so I thought…). But, then at 4:30, I received a call from my bcn, there was a problem with my chest xray - a 7mm mark on my left lung. My op was cancelled since they needed to know ‘if my treatment plan needed reviewing’. I had primary bc, and they needed to know if I had secondaries. I dont need to tell you what secondaries mean to your prognosis - I am sure we know. I desperately came to this site for more information and other experiences, and many of you may have seen my posting.
My CT scan was pushed through by my surgeon and her team with results back in less than 36 hours… that was amazing, and I am sure that my surgeon was behind this.
I thought my life was over, and to have a mastectomy only and be curable was an option that I hoped for desperately. Any woman without bc would not be able to comprehend that.
But yesterday, was another dimension… and it taught me a valuable lesson.
Well, my CT scan came back good - a scaring on my lung had been there for a long long time - probably nearly all of my life! I broke down in tears with relief.
Ladies - I am going to be cured - I am determined now. I will have time to get a recon in my own time. I have it all straight in my head now. Whilst I would love a DIEP recon now, it is not offered at my hospital, but the chance of a CURE is.
I intend to look into Elaine’s clinic, in my own time when I am cured - because I WILL HAVE TIME… when the cancer is gone and out of me.
Trust our doctors to look after us… believe in them.
Lisa XX
Lisa
That is fantastic for you ,keep those thoughts and stay strong and positive and you will get through ths
Mary
xxxx
Hi Ladies
I hope that I didnt offend anyone with my posting last night (above). It was not meant to be - I just wanted to say that my priority for a replacement breast is not as a high a priority as my life.
It took Thursday to realise that. I was a fool.
It would be lovely to have a recon straight away, but I am not as lucky, Ill just have to wait. Yes, I am disappointed and I will struggle to live without my breast, but I will have to for now.
You are all wonderful, wonderful people!
Lisa X
Hello all!
Lisa - this is fantastic news! You are right - it takes a push in the right direction sometimes to get your priorities straight. Have they rescheduled your surgery?/
My surgery is tomorrow. so the cancer will be removed and they will start a recon to be finished whenever, I’m very aprehensive which I assume is normal. It still feels all so surreal. I’ll catch up with you all as soon as I can get back on.
Hold me in the light everyone!!
Love Td x