Due to start chemotherapy - terrified

Having had surgery, I met with my oncologist and am due to commence T.C. On 15/1/16. I have grade 3 invasive duct carcinoma and 3/18 positive lymph nodes. I seemed to recover fairly well , although pain from node clearance and last week had 275mls drained off due to a seroma , which unfortunately seems to be refilling. Am totally terrified about how the chemotherapy will affect me and have been told that I will definately lose my hair !!! . I know thousands of ladies have been on this journey - but just feel soooo low and want to just sit and cry. Any advise would be good to get through this and to stop feeling sorry for myself. I pray I’m not going to die and leave my wonderfull hubby.

Hi :slight_smile: I’m in a similar position to you, had surgery on 7 Dec for grade 2 invasive ductual cancer with 2/9 nodes removed shown to also be cancerous. I had left breast mastectomy with reconstruction and am healing well. I was really happy my drain was removed Christmas Eve, but by the end of Christmas Day I had seroma build up and was scared my wound would open! It was gone down, but feels so uncomfortable so I’m going to ring my breast care nurse later for advice. Typical it happened over Christmas when everything is out of routine! I see the oncologist tomorrow for my first appointment when I assume I’ll be given my date to start chemo. I started a thread on here ‘January 2016 chemo starters’ which you might want to join? We can support each other as we go through treatment together.
Of course you feel low, you have every right to be feeling the way you do - it’s a big deal, it plays mind games, especially at night and it feels like it puts your life on hold. I feel confident that my treatment will get rid of any stray cancerous cells and prevent their return and this time next year the only thing bugging me will be my hair regrowth. I try not to look any further than that.
My only advice is to regularly catch up on here, post your feelings and seek advice. I think that is what has helped me most especially when I was filling up with seroma knowing we were all over the alcoholic limit to drive me to hospital on Christmas Day!!
Sending you loads of love - don’t be harsh on yourself for feeling the way you do xxx

I am in a very similar position. Trying really hard not to think about the chemo - I don’t have a date yet as I was ill last week when I should have started. 


I am trying to think positively!! I am hoping I will have the courage to have my head shaved just after the first treatment so that I don’t have to watch it fall out. I am also making a list of the ways I am going to look after myself to reduce the side effects as much as possible. 


I wish you good luck and hope you get through stronger than ever at the end of it.