Early Days /Coming To Terms

Hello everyone,few days from diagnosis and news feels quite raw. Despite a family history (lost Aunty 30 years ago and mum now 74 had left mastectomy 19 years ago. I was post L wide excision of lump fortnight ago, feeling v postive and quite honestly “bit of a fraud” whilst in waiting room for outpatients follow up last week.

Just remember thanking my Consultant, apologising for operating so quickly, told him how impressed I was on the neatness of his stitches (my usual nervous verbal diarrhoea! (please excuse the pun!) then apologised again for taking up so much of his time!
The only words I heard thereafter were, complications, double and mastectomy!

Going through the rollercoaster of emotions (told normal by Breast Nurse on Friday)and hoping for Plastics appt this Friday.

I’m pacing the walls at home as I’m currently signed of on month sick (part time job involves heavy lifing). We are a strong couple and my husband is brilliant and supportive but “broke down” this morning just as I was starting to feel really strong so struggling a bit and would really appreciate any advise from anyone on how they dealt with things just after diagnosis?

I spent alot of time walking to keep my mind from dwelling, avoid the internet if you can and I found night nurse helped me sleep. It’s a hard time but it does get better and life does finally return to normal. The counsellors on here are very helpful but I found the most help came from hooking up with others who’d been / were going through it all.

So sorry this is happening to you, and your story is a little similar to mine. I thought I had a small lump which had been caught early and was expecting just WLE and rads. I think most of us divide into two groups - those that want to know as much as possible about what is going on, and be a part of the decision making process about treatment. And those that find it hard to deal with what can be shocking information, and are happy to be guided by their medical team. You probably know instinctively which type you are.

I started in the latter group when I thought my dx was quite straight forward and had a good prognosis, and finished up in the former group as the news got worse. Turned out I already had secondaries at dx. I now wish I had been better informed from day one, as I would have made diet / lifestyle changes earlier had I known more.

My personal recommendation would be that you contact your BCN to get more details of your diagnosis so that you can start processing this information at whatever speed is comfortable for you. For example, your hormone status, tumour grading, lymph node status. Something has obviously changed to go from a lumpectomy to double mastectomy.

When you have more details you will find loads of lovely ladies here with the same or similar dx who can help you through the very difficult first weeks. Good luck. finty xx

It’s the shock isn’t it.We try to be brave when we get mammogramme recall,mri,ultra sound,core biopsy all done then comes the diagnosis.We hear the words breast cancer then go numb or fall apart. My reaction was to tell everyone I didn’t want it to be a big secret. Had my wle etc. 17th.May. Told at diagnosis prob. one month radio then poss tamoxifen.
Went for results June2nd. All canser taken and not gone to lymph glands,great news. Very aggressive form of cancer so 7 chemo sessions then radio+ tabs of some kind.No h+/- results as yet so don’t know about herseptin but a possilbilty.
Like you say you hear the words but somehow they don’t sink in.Yes partner fell apart too he lost his first wife and I think he thought oh god not again.
Now waiting to see oncologist on 16th. and then start chemo.
The waiting is one of the worst parts I just want to get on with it now.
I’ve resigned myself to the hair loss etc. which they say will happen,ordered my wigs, bought a couple of scarves but hate this waiting game. As I work in a community pharmacy I will not be able to return to work until at least Easter time next year( every cloud has a silver lining lol).
Keep your chin up and come on here rant,moan,swear,have a laugh od just read the posts all these loverly girls will help you through this great adventure (see forum)

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

When I was diagnosed I found it really hard to be on my own I tried to spend all of my time with other people. I was off sick from work and my husband took some leave from work so that we could spend some time together to get used to the diagnosis, I know that might sound strange but at first we kind of stopped talking and it worried us both so we decided to spend some time together. We still sent the boys to school as normal so we had the days to ourselves and just walked the dog alot and talked and tried to do normal things.

All the best Joxx