Carol, l can almost see those white thingies making your bone marrow healthy, hope you also have injections to help them along the way! xxx
Maria, aka chemo brain, Looking forward to another new you! do you need any tape to keep the wig on? or does it sit right, bit like our boob or boobs!!
Just wondered about the steroids, have read a lot of threads where they say the steroids make them ‘high’ so much so they can’t sleep!
Lots of hugs
Sandra xxx
Hello Ladies,
I hope everyone is having a good day today.
I have been watching the messages about reading threads about secondaries. Even though I got good news this week I don’t know why, but I still feel very aprehensive about things. I suppose it could be that I have been on edge about my results and the whole dx of bc that I stll can’t seem to get my head around it all. I think it will be better when I get my appointment with the onc and find out properly about my treatment ect. My BCN was on holiday this week and the one I spoke to and don’t know at all was not very forthcomming, wouldn’t tell me anything much except the basics. I need to speak to my own BCN when she returns on Monday, I’m sure she will be able to put my mind at rest.
I think we can all be little guilty of reading the worst bits of this site as good and supportive as it is. I don’t want to look as if I’m just moaning about nothing and it’s probably just worrying about the unknown, but I still feel a little bit on edge about things but can’t pinpoint what it is that I am concerned about.
I probably sound like I’m going round the twist!! But I can’t seem to settle , I felt really high and happy when I got my report and the news the other day but the past couple of days, especially today I feel very down about everything , and I know that I should be pleased after all the worry and waiting and probably sound so ungrateful, I’m not at all, I just don’t know how I should feel at present. I have told some people about the outcome of my results and their reaction was , great, so your ok now thats good, I told you you’d be fine. They don’t understand the implication of all that we go through when told that you have bc, and I don’t suddenly feel that everything is fine yet, do people understand what I mean or am I just rambling?
So sorry to be a bit of a pain in the butt! I’ve probably been reading into all of this a bit too much, and I am very pleased that I have the good outcome which I have, I suppose I’m just still a bit scared of the future, and what it holds in store, I never used to be like this before bc I always looked after everyone else.
Sorry for the moan but it’s the only place I can, thanks all.
Take care, best wishes,
Isabelle xxx
Hi Isabelle
Being told you have breast cancer, is enough to knock the stuffing out of anyone, even when and if we are told fairly good news, we are still in shock, so l can understand your up day and now your not so up days! after all you do still have bc, and reading through some of the posts, some who have been given the ok and years later another b****r appears, you think, how the hell can this happen!
So l think it will take a long while to start feeling like ‘you’ again, and you will always have that awareness at the back of your mind, and that is good, because you will be aware and watchful of your body. Oh gosh don’t mean to put more fear into you. Just trying to help you understand you are not going round the twist! what you are experiencing is understandable. and now l think l will shut up!!
Hope the rads start soon, and your own bcn gives you the support you need and want.
Lots of Hugs
Sandra xxx
Thanks Sandra,
I am so pleased that I can come on here and there is someone who truely understands how I feel.
I think it’s great that we can all support eachother as we are doing,and maybe I’m not going round the twist, but just having a normal reaction the situation which we all find ourselves in at this time in our lives.
Thank you so much,
Isabelle xxx
Hi Isabelle
I remember when l first came on the forum, l was really stressed because l had so many nodes involved, a lady got in touch with me who had more nodes than l had with cancer, telling me she got through it and that it was 14 years ago. She said she didn’t come on here much, as her family thought she should put it all behind her, and get on with her life. she said they didn’t understand how she felt, she said she didn’t post very much, but read the threads and if she thought she could help then she would reply, and l was so grateful to her, because at that time (and many since) l needed to hear that! I saved her email to look back on when l was feeling down! am l sad or what?
What l am trying to say is, as lovely and supportive as our family and friends are. Unless you have experienced this dreadful bc you can never truly understand, so it is good we have each other to support when we need it. Just can’t begin to imagine how the ladies coped before the forum was around!
Just looked at the time! l will never get up in the morning!
Hugs
Sandra xxx
Hi Ladies,
Hope everyone is doing well today…
Vickie I hope that you made it to wales and are having a carefree time with your family and enjoying those good days.xx
Sandra, glad Bliss is doing well and thank goodness you have her insured otherwise she would be breaking the bank for sure.xx
Heather you must be taking your time concocting the next story for us…can’t wait xx
Maria, happy new wig to you…can’t wait to see it…we all wait with baited breath:-)) I cannot believe that I am heading towards the days when mine is going to begin to come out…it is such a weird feeling…in fact I think I have become rather detached from everything at the moment, feel ok (just a little sick) but feel like I’m in autopilot…can’t really explain better than that.
Kris…welcome to the forum where anything goes!! Yes we have some fun here as well as the more serious times when we give each other oodles of support, the fun times are the good times though…feel free to bering all of your funny stories here for us to soak up xx
Izzy, no-one can and no one would know how to react to any sitution such as ours, or be qualified to advise us about how any of us should react to news that we are given. As individuals we act in the only way that we can, it’s not even preempted by us and we have to go with the flow and our gut instinct and deal with whatever that makes us feel like. You are doing fine and all of your reactions are just you trying to put the whole experience into perspective and get your head round the whole thing…and if you can do that hun…please email me quickly and tell me how you do it haha!!! Hope you can feel more positive and keep smiling that lovely smilexx
Well like i said…SE’s not bad at the mo (I am very greatful for that as I was petrified) no sickness at all so far, drinking the water (although probably not as much as I should have done yesterday) taking the pills, the district nurse came and we discussed injections for the weekend as I stay with my partner at his house then which is ages away…so…she taught me how to do my own injections - a new skill!!We have arranged a contingency plan for if it doesn’t work out but she said I was an expert…that was until I took the cover off the needle which was on so tightly that my hand sprang back and the needle stuck in my finger…that hurt so much…much more than injecting my tummy…in fact my finger still hurts today hahahaha, nurse said you only do that once but most trainees do that!!! she could have warned me beforehand!!
Sleeping patterns seem different…unsettled…maybe the heat or cos my head is adjusting to the new phase of the adventure…not sure yet.
Going to party in the park tonight in Cheshire…should be good…except for I shall be drinking water and the picnic…well I cannot get my head round what I can take as I am paranoid that anything not prepared and eaten immediately will be riddled with germs so considering breadsticks in sealed packs, packet of crisps and maybe some celery sticks and cheese pieces!!! who knows!! definately no pork pies or sausage rolls for me!!
ok need to finish painting the shed before I leave
catch yas later
hugs Suze xxx
Hi Ladies, how are you all? hope your enjoying this lovely sunshine. I have a bad cold -( Hubby had it all last week, and he felt really rough, and what made it worse he had man flu lol I just felt poorly Thursday and Friday kept just lying on the bed, I feel a bit better today so I thought I will come and chat to my lovely friends -)
Maria, hope your feeling a bit better now, bet your kitchen is starting to look nice. Did you sort out your lights with your builder? Oh and by the way you make perfect sense.
Gill I know how you feel about trying on clothes. I was out with my daughter on Wednesday shopping with my birthday money. The thing is I’ve put so much weight on since the chemo, the Arimidex, and the herceptin, I don’t feel I look nice in anything.I am going to start my diet on Wednesday so watch this space.
Sandra, I am sorry my posts are so long, I do go on a bit lol I was laughing at what one of the ladies said about not knowing what colour her hair was, I was like that lol Mine is growing quite good now, I will get that picture took so you can see it, but I will wait till I’ve not got a red nose like Rudolph lol Hows little Bliss doing? I keep thinking about her.
Saffron I am not suppose to drink any more so no repeat of my football escapade, I wouldn’t get in the shorts now my bum would swallow them lol Cant wait for the footie to start though, this time next week I will be getting ready for the first England game. My daughter will be awful, wont dare ring her lol Hope the wig is going ok, I think they are so nice now, you really have to look close. I was having my chemo one day and this lady was there having a first one and her husband was with her, I mentioned wigs and I was wearing one of mine, and her hubby was really surprised, he said we were looking round to see if we could tell who was wearing a wig and we said yours wasn’t a wig. So that made me feel really good. I know this lady at the post office we used to go to when I was a child use to wear a wig and it looked like someone had knitted it.
Carol, it would be great if we all lived close by and we could call in for a cuppa,next time I have a cuppa I will think of you. I bet you look nothing like a thug, I know some of you younger ladies wont remember this comedian, his name was Dick Emery, and in part of his comic sketch he was dressed has a thug and I looked like him lol I hope your shingles are getting better, I am getting a bit worried at the minute, because my grandson had chicken pox, and my chest and just a spot on my back wont stop itching, I reckon somebody has put itching powder in my clothes lol
Vickie I know what you mean about reading the posts and getting scared, I do the same myself then I go in to hubby with all these worries, and he knows I have been reading things I shouldn’t read. Anyway I hope you have a good few days away.
Mum51, Isn’t it just the way, they give you good news, then take it away. I remember asking my onc when can she tell me I wont have cancer any more, and she snapped back “I can never tell you that” I don’t bother asking her any more, if there is something I am worried about I go to my GP.
Linda, hope your managing to get out in the sun and relaxing.
Hi Kris and welcome, we are slightly mad, well I am just mad lol Wow going to the gym, I wish I could but I don’t think my bottom would fit on those bike things lol I can understand how you feel about the joy at seeing your grandchildren. They are a pleasure aren’t they, when I see mine I forget about everything else.
Izzy, I understand how your feeling, I had a MX and no node involvement, but I had to have chemo because it was an aggressive type of cancer. But I still am waiting for the next thing to happen. I can be high has a kite one minute, and then the tears just flow and sometimes I don’t know why.
Suze, I need more than a tag to keep a look out for me. So glad your chemo went ok. I live in Derbyshire so I will just get hubby to get the kettle on lol.
Well I got in trouble again on Wednesday. I went shopping with my daughter. After we had finished clothes shopping she wanted to go into boots, so I said ok I will just nip into Sainsburys because I wanted some sea food sauce. Anyway once I was in there I saw this that and the other and I had got much more than I could handle. Anyway I got to the checkout, piled all my stuff on the belt for baskets only, then splat sea food sauce smashed all over the floor. Well I felt awful and I was trying to pick the glass up and put it in a bag and I was getting covered with seafood sauce. Anyway a cleaning lady came and said its ok I will see to it now, so I looked at my fingers with seafood sauce dripping of them what shall I do so I put them in my mouth to suck it of!!! God what a mistake I had a mouth full of glass and I didn’t know what to do. So I gargled at the cashier" Gav Gou goc ga gissue giyve goc gas gin guy gouth " So she looked at me and started to laugh, but she got me a load of paper towels and I had to spit it out. I could not get out of there quick enough, my daughter was waiting outside and when she saw me she said " What have you been doing ". I stood there seafood sauce all over my feet all up my legs and round my mouth, she just couldn’t stop laughing, it was a good job it was the end of the day, the thing was though I never got my seafood sauce lol.
Well ladies you take care, hope I made you smile 
Love Heather
xxxxx
Hello Heather,
jJust having a quick look on the site before going out to see friends. The tears were with laughter today at your post!!!Couldn’t stop laughing at your antics.
You are a very brave, loverly and certainly a funny woman and you do cheer us all up on here!
Catch up later, thanks for the laughs,
Isabelle xxx
Oh Heather I was right when I said there was some fantastic mad women on this site !! I´d love to go shopping with you , mind you I´d stand five foot behind and pretend i was´nt with you , your daughter has obviously got this weighed off , she was in Boots while you were performing ,clever girl !
Yes maria we did meet on the "Not Living In the UK "
I don´t use skype , should do I know as my elder son is in Thailand , but we use a wireless telephone that gives us a UK number and all our calls to the UK and Spain ( except mobiles ) are free , well we pay 8,99 euros per month . That sounds like I know what I´m talking about does´nt it ? Well I don´t , but I improvise well !!
I have a staffie Sandra , and he often has to go on steroids because he has problems with cysts on his paws , it makes him quite hyper , and really greedy , thank goodness I did´nt have to have steroids , I´m greedy now without .
Must go , I think someone is giving me signs to pack up and get a bottle out the fridge . I´m being very good , I only drink at weekends and then , not a lot . Cannot give it up totally .
Kris
Hi Ladies,
Suze,I am hoping to do my own injections, so thanks for the hint about the needle!!
Party in the park, get you! chemo a few days ago, now partying! enjoy!
and painting sheds, is there no end to this womans chemo antics? xxx
Heather, Sadly l do remember Dick Emery! that is not good is it?
Bliss is doing ok, wont know for sure how she is until the next blood test in 4 weeks! so fingers crossed.
Now what have you started, not only do l want to come and have coffee with you, l want to come shopping too!! xxx
Isabelle, Laughter? well done you xxx
Kris, yes steroids do usually make you hyper, knocks my Bliss out, but she is so greedy, poor little girl, they make them so hungy, even eats the food l put out for Toby (tortoise) xxx (Ok Maria)
Took my mum to M & S this morning, this afternoon she phoned and asked why l hadn’t told her l had started chemo? l said l haven’t well she said the shopping bags had loads of hair all over them? l had forgotten when l took the two ladies to the drop in centre, the one in the back had her first chemo 3 weeks ago, and her hair was all over her coat and clothes, we had to shake her coat when we got out of the car, she had so much hair everywhere, said she didn’t want to shave it, just wants to let it fall!! obviously most had fallen in the back of my car!
All you other lovely ladies, especially the chemo ladies, hope you are all well?
Lots of Hugs
Sandra xxx
I just popped in here before I wash up, in time to watch “Britains got talent” to catch up on news, Well I read your post Sandra and got the shock of my life. Bliss had eaten Toby. Chemo brain, I read too quick ! but no time to write much else now, so see you later.
HUgs Maria
Hi
Ok Maria, edited it for you!!!
Never mind about Britains got talent, where is the new hair??
Hugs
Sandra xxx
Hi, everyone
I, too remember Dick Emery.I am getting used to the "Thug " look.
I managed to wear the wig all day and evening yesterday, but it feels fantastic when you can take it off at last. what are these Buffs I hear some mention? hair hasn’t begun to fall out yet-watch this space. Doesn’t look like the allotment is a goer today as it is p***ing down here in sunny Hyde, Cheshire. Looks like I will have to do some tasks around the house or, alternativly, sit around reading magazines all day!
A good friend visited yesterday she broughtnsome lovely Freesia and also a bag full of Mags. she said I hope you don’t mind I have brought you some Saga magazines. One of them had a picture of the loverly Lumely on the front who is 64 for goodness sake why would I mind?
Heather, I bet you don’t go in that Sainsburys again. Daughter obviously has you sussed out. she must consider you to be a bit of a liability!
I thought you lived down south some where instead of the next county to me.
I will ask about these injection when I go to chemo clinic as nobody mentioned them.
Well, I suppose I had better go and do the ironing
Bye lovely ladies
Carolxx
aghhhh, only popped on to see if Maria had put her new photo on…no need to give you ladies too many guesses to which thread l looked on that made me cry…again!!(survival rate) Do l never learn?
That over with, and head back together! Lol!
Carol, well it is warm and dull here, looks like it might brighten up!
Oh l love Freesia’s lucky you.
Buffs, tubular hearwear, look on the website for buffs, l think it shows you the different way you can wear them on a video clip. If you saw Sally Whittaker from Coronation street on GMTV a few weeks ago, l think she was wearing one!
Hugs to one and all
Sandra xxx
yes Sandra I looked at that one last night before I went to bed and had nightmares… I agree with all the comments though there is no point dwelling on things… these rates are there and are stats my understanding is that they are there to give an medical indication of treatment rather than actually say how long we are going to survive… Live each day to the fulll is my new motto.
I now have HAIR yes a re growth of my own lovely (well not lovely) but my own hair… I am so pleased. No Cold Cap either - It may go when I start TAX but to have some now only half way through FEC is soo nice and hopefully a boost to us all!!
hugs xx
Hi Ladies,
Here is the new me. The wig is more comfortable than the other one, so I’ll probably wear it more often. It’s darker than my real hair, but a friend yesterday said it brought out my green eyes, so I was pleased.
Sandra, Thanks for editing your message, what a twit I am.
Now you know why it is better to shave your head at some point, last time I didn’t and it was horrid having hair everywhere, but at least it was my own !! Your poor old Mum.
Carol, well done for wearing the wig all day, have a good read today, sometimes I’m pleased when it is bad weather, then we have an excuse for doing nothing, mind you I also have a pile of ironing waiting for me. Probably won’t do it today though.
Heather, what ever next ? I remember Dick Emery too. I’ll join you in a cyber cup of tea, but I’ll never go shopping with you.
Kris, Skype and other video chats are free, thats why they are great, I just had a chat with my son who lives in France, Seeing him at the same time is lovely, he could see my new wig too and said , it looks just as messy as your old hair. That’s the idea, I said; it feels like me.
Suze, Hope your party was good. Injections in the fingers, eh, at least your fingers will have a good white blood count !! I know just what you mean about being on auto-pilot, somethings just don’t seem real.
Vickie, hope Wales was good.
Isabelle, hope all is better with you now, glad you can laugh with us.
Have a happy Sunday folks
Hugs Maria
maybe it the computer or may be its me, I wasn’t there a minute ago and now I am there twice. Sorry
PS Sandra and Saffronseed, you silly girls…
Hi Ladies,
Silly girls? should have been a lot stronger that that Maria, how many times have you told me? some people never learn…but one day l might, not too old yet!
The new you looks really lovely, love the colour, see we never knew you had green eyes, need more of a close up for that!
As for your sons comments, cheeky boy, never too big for a cyber slap!
Saffronseed, well if you read it last night, you could have warned me!!! Lol, you know what a baby l am!
HAIR? wow that was quick, how exciting, you haven’t been sprinking ‘hair’ seeds on you head have you? Am l right (or wrong) in saying the hairloss is due to the FEC and not TAX? something comes to mind about it! not much ‘mind’ there so am probably wrong.
Nice bit of rain and then sun, and watch it grow!!
Hugs to all the sensible Ladies and the not so sensible ones
Sandra xxx
Hi Ladies just managed to get a connection again. I was able to keep up with all your news but not post.I managed to stray on to a rather worrying site just now so headed back to this one. Saw I wasn’t the only one,can’t read anything that will send my poor dolally brain any more up the pole. Heather lol wot first the misplaced T bag then going AWOL in short shorts, next time I see a police helicopter flying overhead I will wonder what you have been up to. Re the seafood sauce have you tried mayo and a dab of tomato puree? Might be safer but not as funny.I too remember Dick Emery not good as Sandra said.When you book the coach to Heather’s, Sandra please reserve a seat for me. Hope you give the dog walking woman a wide berth, what was she thinking about saying that to you? Saw that many of you are having chemo after surgery and hope that all goes well, it is doable as everyone says, may not feel like it at the time. I did it back to front ( same way as IO do lots of things come to think about it)Had 6x chemo first. Then quadranectomy ( according to my Onc) very generous WLE ( according to surgeon) done 27/5. Sandra had complete sense of humour short circuit when you replied re daughter or her boy friend taking pre-op photo.Maria hope the kitchen is going well will be fab when it is finished. Hadn’t realised that GCSF injs were so expensive.Think I read that on this thread. My 1st chemo sent my WBC down a lot ( found out later that my normal WBC was on the low side of normal anyway) Had GCSF on days 5,6,7 after all other chemos.Gave them myself but not in my finger ouch how painful. After 2nd, I think I found out about Manuka plus honey and started taking 1 tsp a day.( Sainsbury’s has own brand much cheaper than elsewhere, just don’t go in if Heather is there) WBC was always up after that (but Onc wanted to keep me on them) not sure if a combinaton of both but ended chemo with higher WBC than at start.Depending on pathology Onc says he may want me to have more chemo. Had not heard of that before. Thought chemo was before or after not both, anyone heard of that? Well I may go and try to potter some more in the garden, trying not to overdo it, but my it is so nice to be free of the drain.Hope you are all enjoying the week-end and not reading threads you shouldn’t. LOL to all Jackie
Just been looking in a Lidle leaflet , they are selling what must be my version of hell . A bathroom scale that speaks !!
My mind just boggles .Why oh why would i want , or even contemplate a set of scales that speak to me . I don´t really want to even have to open my eyes and see , let alone have a full scale conversation with it . Can you imagine ?
"Hey fat arse , you´ve put on ANOTHER two pounds ,just what is your problem ? "
“I´m really sorry scales , I know i should´nt have had that huge bar of chocolate , but it was looking lonely , and because I knew I should´nt …I did .”
"Looser !! "…Exit scales through window , ( hopefully open !)
I´d be better off eating your Toby´s lettuce Sandra , on the other hand that would proberbly turn into an undignified scuffle between Bliss and me .
Tomorrow ´s monday , have to think of some excuse for not going to the gym . Trouble is my girlfriends and my husband are all for me going .
I´d love to see my family maria , but I´m so scruffy when I´m home . I´m a real techno phobe ( is that the right spelling ?)
I watched "Britains Got Talent " and I think that was the very best variety show I´ve seen for years . I wonder if the Queen voted , after all she´s got to watch the Royal variety Show , and in recent years it´s been aload of chuff . I bet she gets a "lookalike " to stand in for her during the show while she sits in the back of the box ,kicks her shoes off , tosses the tiara on the floor and gets stuck into a really good bodice ripper with a G&T (Large one !) Then takes over when it´s time to meet the people . I would if I was her.
Hope you´ve all had a good weekend , on with the next week ,just think girls , you´re that much closer to finishing your treatments , thats got to be good !
Kris