When you’ve been so active and working towards a goal it’s so tough to feel like it’s been taken away, and that’s before you even factor in recovering from surgery and lack of sleep. No wonder you are feeling as you are. You’ve been through a lot.
Same as you I was living my best life and getting ready to do my first half when diagnosed. I hated feeling that loss as training becomes such a huge part of your wellbeing, identity and often social connections. So, my tip for coping would be to start making your plan for getting back to what you love. Not right now, once you’re feeling stronger and had some rest, but start putting the wheels in motion mentally. Decide what your first step will be when you feel well enough. It could be something tiny, it doesn’t matter, but make that decision. It will feel strange when you’ve been used to achievements like running marathons (well done!) but having a gentle plan with realistic small steps genuinely helps to look forward and feel more positive, at least it did for me.
I decided once I could drive again I would go to the gym and walk on the treadmill. Only for a few minutes, slowly, nothing strenuous or bouncy, but to take those first steps back towards my usual routine. Next time I walked a few minutes longer. Then built to a gradual incline. Then gentle jogging. And so on. Like a mini training plan but one that’s flexible and kind and the only things that dictate how you progress is you and how you are feeling.
When you’re in the thick of it these things can seem unimaginable, but hopefully when you’ve managed to get some proper rest and recovering you will feel more ready to start getting back what you love. x