Emotions finally catching up!

Hi everyone, I am new here and was diagnosed a few weeks ago with stage 2 lobular cancer. I am having a wide local excision on Monday,although yesterday I was told the cancer is bigger than first thought 3.36 although they don’t think it’s spread but will be removing 2 sentinel nodes to test at the same time. I have been really upbeat about it until now but are starting to get scared about the upcoming surgery and how I will look afterwards as the doctor said with a large lump in a smaller breast disfigurement is possible which has thrown me into an emotional turmoil. At the same time I feel guilty for feeling so vain in worrying about how my breast is going to look when I should just be thankful it has been caught early and I will survive this. Is this normal?

Hi Janet67, sorry you’re feeling worried and emotional. Of course it’s natural, there are all sorts of emotions going on and the beginning is the worst time I’m sure. It’s the not knowing that gets to you. Once you have all the facts, like whether the lymph nodes are involved, whether there is any spread, whether you need a mastectomy or ongoing treatment, it’s much easier to deal with than the unknown. It seems to me that surgeons use words which are scary to us but to them are just everyday expressions. Like “invasive” - I found that very alarming but it only means it is capable of spreading and not that it has, or will. The other word used to me was “disfiguring”, it sounds horrible but now I have had my WLE it is only that the skin is a bit dented and the scar is quite prominent but already it is fading and much flatter. Mine was very high up so it shows with lower cut tops which I am avoiding for the moment but it really doesn’t look too bad. Hope you find the same. Good luck for Monday - it really is not as bad as you probably think.

Well, surgery went ok, ended up having to stay in as I reacted badly to the anaesthetic and was sick until they’d used all three anti sickness drugs they had, then it was too late to let me go that day!!
I had a wide local excision, with nipple adjustment and a sentinel node biopsy.
I feel okay right now, no pain, just a bit uncomfortable. Now got to wait until the 30th for the results of the biopsy and whether they got clear margins around the cancer, so fingers crossed. Now for some more waiting, but feeling upbeat and positive right now.

Insurancewith have specific policy for people diagnosed with breast cancer.