Emotions
Emotions Can I ask you all since being diagnosed and treated have you found yourselves to be very emotional - I have before I could get angry (at work) but now I find if I get angry - annoyed or even simply irritated I am almost in tears straight away - I find it very annoying and irritaitng in its self.
Like my emotions are no longer under my control but control me.
I know things like news stroies and people getting upset 0 - upset me but this is silly.
Absolutely! I was always the one who laughed at people getting their hankies out during sad films, but it doesn’t take much to set me off these days. I think it’s because we’ve been on such a rollercoaster ride through diagnosis and treatment and although the physical scars may have healed, the medical profession doesn’t pay anything like enough attention to the psychological effects. I got to the point where I asked my breast care nurse to organise counselling, and it really helped. I feel that I am regaining some control over my emotions.
You’re definitely not alone!
SAME HERE… …i get very emotional over simple things, i also, particularly recently, have felt so angry at work i could cry.
but i also have found that sometimes people irritate/annoy me over things that wouldn’t of bothered me before.
i agree the psychological effects aren’t always taken into consideration…people seem to think that once the treatments over your fine…they don’t realise the hell you are going through mentally.
karen
Not silly Hi Gypsy,
You’re not silly at all. Think of the emotional turmoil you’ve been through.
I’m the same and find I get weepy for no reason at all.
Don’t be hard on youself.
All the best
Zeb
xx
Me too And I can go from being happy to incredibly tearful in about 2 seconds.
You are not alone.
Love
Anne
xx
me too i really dont know how to deal with it either,
i get myself upset over everything at the moment.
i finished my rads on monday and everyone was saying i should celebrate but all i wanted to do was sit and cry.
kim x
Ovary removal - any advise? got to have my ovaries removed end of August - now getting cold feet. Not on any medication at the mo and feeling happy, normal and in control for the first in 2 years - really don’t want to go backwards. Could not take Tamoxafen any longer, packed it in in October, blood tests showed I had been through menapause so started Aromasin in January - then lo and behold came on - so came of it in Feb, meant to go back on it after the op AND I DON’T WANT TO - any one else feel like that? Beginning to at last lose weight as well!!
not silly I am nearly 1 year post diagnosis - feeling exactly the same - its odd not being able to control emotions - sometimes I’m a complete wreck, others I’m ok - very strange - good to hear others are in the same boat though - beginning to think I was going insane !!!
Definitely not alone Dear All
The emotional bit has only caught up with me 20 months after my treatment and boy has it in a big way. Can be fine one minute and in floods of tears the next. Someone gave me some very good advice the other day (one of the peer support people) - be selfish, give yourself some time and if you want to cry do. We have all been through a lot and it is annoying that people do not realise this or want to know. I get very angry at times and blow a gasket…better out than in I suppose.
They same lovely lady who rang to give me seemed surprised that I was surprised I still felt like this. She said that considering all my body has gone through I will probably have times like this for a good few years…!
People see me as a coper and have had a big shock over the last few months when I stopped coping. It is a bumpy ride but hang on in there I am sure we will all come out right in the wash someday.
I too thought I was going mad and felt very guilty about the effect it was having on other people. I now just go with the flow (and boy is there lots of that at the moment). Its not easy but I am no longer apologising all the time for how I feel. If people can’t handle it its their problem not mine.
Look after yourelf and give yourself some time and space…!
Deb x
Peer support service If anyone else would like to know more about our peer support service you can find all the details at breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=4438
Best wishes
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
I was diagonised four years ago, I was forty at the time. I did cope very well for the first few years although It has been a very emotional time.
But, I’m finding as time goes on, It’s getting harder to cope. I keep thinking that as the years go by I have more chance of the cancer returning and sometimes I get really scared and feel like I’m totally going to breakdown.
I’v become very emotional and get very upset at the slightest thing. If I hear bad news about someone who has breast cancer I get really upset and sometimes I feel that I’m totally loosing control. I keep imaging my children without a Mother.
I do have good weeks and bad weeks. When I’m having a bad week, I could literally cry at the drop of a hat and I find myself worrying about all sorts of things that wouldn’t have usually bothered me.
I feel very guilty about the way I feel as there are people who have gone through a lost worse than me, I feel like I need a good shake.
Are these feelings normal? Is there some sort of counseling I could have to sort my head out?
Me Too On my last day having Chemo, the two nurses administering it were chatting away about how I should celebrate, I tried to join in and feel happy but it did not work…I got outside and burst into tears. I then thought that after Radio T. I would feel like celebrating. Hmmm.
It’s nice to know that I am not ‘ungrateful’ for not feeling completely normal again, and that I am not ‘unusual’ for still feeling emotional. It has only been a week since the end of Radio T but people seem to think that all is now well and I can forget about BC.
It’s great to hear your stories and realise I am not going insane, I used to be a person who was always in control emotionally and, to be honest, did not understand people who were not.
Can anyone tell me when they did feel normal again?
emotional I’m nearly 2 yrs passed diagnosis have just finished recon/surgery. I too feel an emotional wreck at times. For no reason i feel like breaking down in tears. Sometimes lying in bed at night i cry my eyes out for all that i’ve been through and then feel silly for doing so.
LIke you say everyone sees that you are ‘coping’ and expects you to carry on like you did before BC.
I hope one day that i will wake up and not feel like bursting into tears at the slightest mention of BC.
Debs
Me too. I have also started getting anxiety attacks verging on panic attacks. I’m a primary school teacher and several times in the class room i have felt really angry and feel panicky. I have even wanted to shout at the children and have had to really fight the impulse. This has never happened to me before. It doesn’t seem to be getting any better yet.
Kelley
and another one…i stopped my chemo after 4 of 6 because of extreme anxiety/panic attacks,
i have always suffered from anxiety and went through a time about 11 years ago when i suffered alot of panic attacks,
i too feel like i’m constantly thinking about BC or any cancer, i have an aunt who was diagnosed with BC 14 yrs ago who now has bone secondaries and a friend who i met through this has liver secondaries…i fee so guilty feeling the way i do when i speak to them, my friend in particular is so upbeat…i don’t know how she does it.
i do have good days/weeks, but i also have very bad days.
i don’t tolerate some people as i did pre BC…maybe a case of finding out who your true friends are???
i’m glad i’m not alone in feeling like this…was beginning to think i was abnormal!
karen
SAME HERE Just thought I’d share my experience on this as well. I have felt very emotional lately since I finished my treatment in January. I am on anti-depressants and have just changed to new medication as it’s not really working. Have lost loads of confidence and have low feelings of self-worth.
I went to a party last night which I was looking forward to, as meeting up with good friends. Started off fine and enjoyed the evening. However, after a few glasses of white wine too many, started getting over emotional and became quite tearful. My husband was very supportive but tried to get me to go home early but I would have none of it. Then, I was back to normal again only to start getting emotional later on that evening. The reason was because of a slight disagreement I’d had with a close friend of mine. Normally, I would just shrug it off, but the excess wine and BC seems to bring out my sensitive side. I’m sure BC has got a lot to do with my low mood at the moment. The surgery and treatment seems to have ‘fixed’ my body but psychologically, I’m a complete mess!
Sophiebubbles
anger After my mastectomy at the end of 2004 I felt quite positive but since then all I feel about it is anger. I hate my prosthesis, get annoyed with everything to do with check ups (ended up kicking the furniture in the cubicle last time I was waiting!) and am generally thoroughly ungrateful for my prompt and good treatment and good prognosis! I also don’t take care of myself properly. I don’t understand why I have reacted like this and seeing programmes like ‘Bosom buddies’ makes me feel even more the odd one out. Does anyone else feel this way?
I am emotional too! Looking back on all of my treatment (which just finished 6 weeks ago) I think to myself how did I get through it?
I remember chemo was the hardest, I was throwing up for at least a week after and losing my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes was devasting but I just seemed to push through it all, because you just have too! Everybody was around to support you through, friends family, breast cancer nurses, etc.
But when you finish treatment, automatically everyone thinks your fine now and you should be blissfully happy. It doesn’t work that way. The emotions are still below the surface, ready to pop out at anytime!
I have really short hair now which is grey, I had long brown hair and I’ve put on weight. I have no confidence and low self esteem, something which I never suffered from before! and the tiniest of things can trigger those same feelings. For instance bad days at work or a sloppy film and I end up a blubering wreck!
When you keep yourself busy you don’t have time to think, if you sit and think what you have actually been through I bet it brings you to tear just about everytime. You should pat yourself on the back for coping and getting through it!
The solution, I would say let it all out, I good cry does you the world of good, and you have nothing inside to eat you up. But what i also do, is remember that I have been given a second chance and i tell you what I am so excited about life! everyday i wake up and smile! Love every minute of everyday and it will help releave those emotions.
Good luck
Karen xxxxx
anxiety/feeling insane I had breast cancer three years ago and felt great after all my treatment finished - just so glad to be alive. However I’ve just switched from Tamoxifen to Arimedex and I’ve been feeling really anxious - not about cancer but about other things. I’ve always been a bit of a worrier but now I’m waking up in the night panicking about whether my husband loves me. I’m in constant need of reassurance and it’s driving him mad and making me feel pathetic.
I’ve read that there are side effects to Arimedex of anxiety and depression but I’m hoping they go off as my body adjusts to the new drug. Does anyone else suffer from anxiety?