Hi There everybody I am 51 and have Breast Cancer in my left Breast Invasive Lobular, Diagnosed 2 weeks ago, I have had an MRI Scan and am going tomorrow for another Biopsy on my right Brest as there is a problem there too. They say I am a grade 2, I have no idea what to expect, They have said double mastectomy, Radiotherapy and possible chemo. Operation penciled in for week of the 12 Sept.
Just started a new job 3 months ago 380 miles from where I used to live, feel alone and frightened of the surgery, treatment. No idea what questions to ask?
My eldest son Sam died recently in an accident, and my younger sister 2 years ago from Cancer. Not sure how much more I can take. I have read your site and hope I can take courage from all you wonderful women who have gone before.
Hi gooseberrygirl,
I am just bringing this up to the top so more people will see your post. I am sure you will soon get a lot of support from other forum members.
You could also give our Helpline a call. They can offer you information and support and the service is free and confidential. They’re open 9-5 on weekdays and 9-2 on Saturdays. 0808 800 6000
Take care
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Facilitator
oh no, so sorry to read your post. I think it got delayed because they take time to vet all new members (good job too–we want some privacy on here)
wether you are facing masectomy or just the removal of a little lump the news that you have BC is a total shock and sends everybody reeling. If you have been reading through the posts you will find that everybody has such different and strong reactions to the news and the thought of what is to come. The rollercoaster realy does not start to slow down untill you have had your op and they know exactly what is in there and what treatment you will need. Then you know wether you are due to get off soon or it is going round for another circuit whilst you have chemo.
Its even harder to deal with when you are still putting your life togehter from recent tragedies and life changing events.
Feeling alone, well I dont know if you are by yourself or have a partner. But even those of us surrounded by supporting family and friends find that they do their best, but they dont realy understand. And when their eyes glaze over or they have gone to bed you are left alone with your thoughts. That is when this site is a god send. Everybody here is going throught the same thing, or has been throught it and know how you feel.
Now practical things. have you got a support network in your new home?? You are going to need some help after surgery. Especially if they need to take the nodes. Have you thought of getting your operation back in you old area and staying with friends or family during recovery???
as to what to ask–choccie muffin is brilliant at that, there are also some good publications on here. Ring the helpline and ask for them to be sent to you.
so far even though it is a double max and that sounds like major surgery the cancer sounds quite low grade, and they have not said definate chemo, so it might not be as bad as you are fearing.
reconstruction is going to rear its head so start to gather information about that. Ask today what sort of thing they are thinking of and what the possibilites are. You do not have to decide straight away, gather all the information you can, come on here and get ideas and take time to decide what is best for you.
Having started a new job might be of concern, again the helpline can give you advice on what your rights are. But it does all depend on the size of your company and their employment policies.
Anyway got to go-- i am just on the last week of my radiation treatment and have asked for early morning so need to get up to the hospital. There will be lots of people along soon to add their two pennyworth and say hello
Hi Gooseberry Girl,
I’m sorry you’re posting here. Although, my BC story is different from yours, I understand what a whirl you must be in at the moment! (I’m 43, had a couple of WLE’s and now waiting for chemo to start)
Just as a suggestion, I would recommend that you have a look for a thread for September MX ladies, there will no doubt be ladies there at a similar stage to you. But wherever you are in the forums, there are always wonderful ladies giving support and ask anything, there is never wrong question!
Sending you a big hug,
Axx
Hiya - Youre mind will be all over the place , so many life events and then this, its no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed . At least you have found this site , you will get support and practical advice here so keep talking.<3
I have invasive grade 3 lobular BC. I have only 1 chemo to go , then MX and rads. The early days waiting to get on the rollercoater were the worst for me. Once i knew when the treatment was starting and what i was up against i coped much better . It will be hard as you are far away from what and who you know , but if its any comfort with all the well meaning support network in the world , ultimately this is a personal wee battle , that we really do alone . This is why this site is so useful as the guys on here understand 100% what we are going through as they have been there or going there soon , people who dont have cancer can emphasise but its hard for them to fully understand . You speak about courage , you obvously have it in abundance as you have coped with so much in a short time , so you will get on with this chapter in your live , good and bad days but the next day is always different . I am 45 so about the same age , please keep talking as i have found it a massive help at times.
Take Care
Lorna x
Hello there - so sorry to hear your news - you’ve got a lot on haven’t you!! Its such a shock to hear we have cancer but to have a double mastectomy as well sounds like a big thing to get your head around. I had one mastectomy and i have to say the surgery was really not at all bad, and the only bit that was sore afterwards was where they had taken my lymph nodes. It took me about 9 -12 months to get used to my new body.
Old and Lumpy has made lots of great suggestions - just wonder if your Breast Care nurse is helpful - they often turn out to be the mainstay of help during our treatment periods.
really best of luck and hope some of the lasses who have had double MX can jump on here soon,
Nicola
Oh Gooseberry girl, I’m so very sorry to hear all that has been happening to you, you really do have a lot to cope with don’t you?
All of us on here will be there for you though and there are some lovely ladies always there ready with advice that might help you. I only had a single mx with node removal followed by chemo and no-one could say that it’s pleasant but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be and that was 5 years ago.
Keep your chin up and thumb your nose at this rotten disease, you can get through it and we’ll do all we can to help.
Sending a big hug
Laraine xx
Gooseberrygirl, welcome though I wish I didn’t have cause to welcome you.
Can’t really add much to what’s been said already, but I’m happy to send you hugs. I didn’t have mastectomy so don’t have any specific suggestions for questions to ask about that, I’m sure there will be others along soon.
The rest of the tragedies you’ve been through recently must have blown a huge hole in your life, and to get this diagnosis on top of it all is just the pits. I can only imagine.
Look at the Publications part of the site, there are some informative leaflets on there.
Don’t google indiscriminately, though I understand you may want to look at some pictures (or maybe not). There’s a thing called The Scar Project that you might find worth looking at. Linky, anyone? And of course this site, Cancer Research, Macmillan, but steer clear of single-issue scare-mongering sites or you’ll scare yourself to death.
Give the Helpline a ring for a chat, they may come up with some sensible questions. Things I would ask are about which type of reconstruction, whether you can have reconstruction immediately or delayed, what are they planning on doing with lymph nodes, does your hospital do immediate sentinel node biopsy (while you’re asleep).
Get your GP to do the prescription exemption form for you.
Take a look at the EMPLOY charter, might be useful to let your HR department have a copy of that one. You are now classed as disabled from an employment perspective, so it’s worth knowing what your rights and responsibilities are.
Aside from all of that, now is the time to be kind to yourself. The worry and fear and sheer terror can be massive, but we are all here for you in your darkest moments.
Good luck, and lots of hugs
CM
x
(Better go, supposed to be working!)
Hi gooseberry girl
I do feel for you, I was ex when I was 49 and had mas, chemo & radio then 2 years later recon, then last July I was cleared.
Sadly 3 days before going on holiday It returned in my chest wall was due to start chemo on 1st Aug but no luck with viens so that was put off until 19th August. Very suddenly mum in law died on the 9th August so I Know what you are going through nearly but to have lost your son must be unbearable.
I hope you have the support of OH - I have found my BCN fabulous - no body understands like us on here what you will/are going through so post as much as you want to and ask as much as you need to someone somewhere will respond.
Whereabouts do you live?
Thinking of you
Jo xx
Hi There girls, Firstly Thank you so much for your support,
I went for biopsys on right today, have an appointment for next Thursday hopefully to discuss plan of action, They said reconstruction is out for the forseable. Nodes will be taken…
I live alone, but in a flat tied to my job, the girls at work have been fantastic, I do not want to go back for treatment to Scotland and do not want to be a burdon on my sons. I live near Salisbury quite close to Hospital, when I moved here I never thought I would be visiting it quite so often( I have a broken wrist as well at the moment)Lucky should have been my middle name.
Nearly cried for the first time when I read all your lovley comments. Thankyou so much
Nothing wiser to say than has already been said, but just wanted to add my sorrow at reading all you’ve been through. Hope we can all be here for you on this journey…
Ann x (diagnosed in late Jan this year, just finished chemo and about to have surgery and radiotherapy)
Hi Gooseberrygirl,
Very new to this, just been diagnosed myself. Today went for an MRI scan, all very new and scary–same as you. Waiting for results so they can give me date for my surgery. think your very brave and there are lots of people on here who can support you. i am very new to this…cancer/computers/forums!!! however if you ever need to talk feel free to message me as im just as lost as you but it feels so much better when you can talk to someone.
x
Hi Gooseberrygirl, as the others say, im so sorry to hear all that u have had to deal with, especially the loss of your son, i cannot begin to understand how u cope. Also sorry to have to welcome u on here. But i hope it will help u to know that we all understand how u are feeling with the BC diagnosis & we’ll all be here to listen & help all we can. There’s no such thing as a silly question or if u need to offload, rant or just feel sad then post away.
I’ve had surgery & am now awaiting chemo, good luck with your op, will be thinking of u, take care x