Families and waiting !!!!!

I know I’ve got the big C and it’s almost certain that i have lymph nodes affected. Waiting for results on Tuesday. My husband and I have both been married before. I have 3 children and my husband has 4. My children are coming round regularly to check on me but his children never come round. (the children range from 30 years old to 38 years old) Now my husbands children are moaning that he rarely goes to see them.

I have always made his kids welcome but they never visit. They are making him feel guilty for supporting me at week-ends as opposed to seeing them.

We have had a huge row! Why can’t they see that they are welcome anytime.I’m sure they think I’m Making it up

Surely it is their choice if they visit or not, and if they can’t support you and their Dad at a time like this it’s a poor do. Your OH needs to realise that at their age, they should understand the importance of standing by a partner and that they are second in his line of thoughts. It sounds to me like they need to grow up! And your OH needs to tell them this in no uncertain terms!

You think about yourself and getting better, and revel in the joy your own children are bringing you with their continued loyalty.

Irene

Hi there. I can really feel for you in this situation as I was in exactly your place three years ago as well. I had a re-currence and obviously my OH was most supportive and helped out with household tasks etc. His kids never once visited, never sent a card, never even phoned and if they spoke to OH never enquired after me. My kids were tremendously supportive and often chatted to OH as well to make sure he was ok. OH just told his kids in the end that I had to come first, and if there was any spare time between working (often out of the country), hopsital visits and household tasks there was not much spare time. They did resent it, but I suppose just had to get on with it. I don’t have a good relationship with most of them at all now, just let them get on with their lives. Oh visits and phones, but that’s about it.

I really think your Oh needs to have ‘strong’ words with his kids and explain the situaiton.

And very best of luck with your treatment.

Birgitj

Hi
take no notice and certainly dont play into their hands by rowing with your hubby. Remember people who didnt really like you before cancer are not going to suddenly like you because you have it.

Love Debsxxx