Hi here I am again, do any of you find you get more support from friends than family (with the exception of my hubby) Have two grown up son and 2 D -In-law but I seem to get a pull your self together atitude from them . One has a new baby and I am sure they think I have leprosy , very cagey about me holding her. I know it’s hard for them having a mum with cancer and perhaps underneath they are as frightened as I am, but I feel very shut out of their lives . I am feeling quite down at the moment , I do’nt feel sorry for myself and say why me?? Why anybody???
But will acknowledge to being scared of going on CMF this WED even though loads of you have reassured me it’s not as bad as EPI. I think i’m sometimes more frigthened of the cure (Chemo ) than I am of the cancer. I’m getting that horrible lurching fear through my stomach today and can’t keep taking diazepam do’nt want to get hooked on the blessed things. I’m very chary about sending this as I must appear a right moaning Minnie But hope one or two of you will give me some reassurance. It’s something I seem to need 24/7 lately.
Love to you all Bobbiexxx
Hi Bobbie,
I am sorry you are feeling low at the moment as things will seem so difficult to handle.
It must be all the harder whilst dealing with diazepam too.
I have experience of prozac about 9 years ago way before BC and that was the most awful experience of my life. I was one of those who had a severe reaction to the drug.
On the up side your feelings with or without diazepam are all part of the cycle of BC emotions. Some of us are lucky and only have a few ‘black’ moments whilst others need more time to come to terms with the new life we will need to undertake.
Regarding family, I couldn’t agree with you more, I have a selfish family (My side) but my husband, children and husband’s family have been great. However its the awkward side that seem to drain me the most.
Take one day at a time Bobbie, its all you can do at the moment, its a ‘cliche’ but there is light at the end of the tunnel, it may seem to be a long tunnel or just another train coming along the tracks but hang in there. A brighter day will come soon I am sure.
Take care
Carol
Hi Bobbie
I’m sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment, I thought you may Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service of interest. Our peer supporters are from diverse backgrounds and ages and have experienced different types of breast cancer and treatments. They are ready to listen, offer skilled emotional support and share their experiences and understanding. For more information about this and our other support services available to you please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 or email: <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>.
Best wishes
Katie
Bless you Carol and Katie for getting back to me so prompt. I hate to admit it but I feel my kids are very selfish at present just things they say and do, or sometimes what they do’nt say and do . I am very lucky with my bruv and his wife also have wonderful support from friends, three of whom have BC too, Naomi I actually met through this site found we lived nearby and attend the same hospital. I have used BC helpline before and will do so again . thank goodness their are people like you Katie Find this site a lifesaver , you can be honest with your peers and by God do they understand , even the little things that may seem trivial to others who have not walked down this lonely rd , are not trivial to fellow BC sufferers, it means so much to be able to share your deepest fears.
Thanks to all you great folks , perhaps there is a reason we are going through this,have not found one yet, other than you have a deep understanding of other folks suffering but I always thought I had that anyway.
Love Bobbie
Omg I read your post and it brought a tear to my eye. How can your daughters and law be so cruel. I am so so sorry that you are having to go through this on top of the bc, I send you lots of big hugs. I have just been out to a family lunch today. Felt a bit sad at times but tried to be upbeat. My sister and mines husbands, ie my mums son in laws have been total gems and are so kind to our mum. My mum has my sisters children two days a week, and my husband has actually volunteered to take time off work if and when my mum gets too tired to cope with her treatment. I guess we are lucky. I will say if the guys were anything but kind and considerate, my sister and I would soon put them in their place. I am sorry that your sons and daughter in laws are being so thoughtless. I wonder how they would feel if it was there mum? How dare they tell you to pull yourself together. Sorry but that makes me so cross/sad at there selfishness.
Hugs Jules xxxx
Bless you Jules , I really must try to consider myself and try to fight this for me and hubby. I wanted to be closer to new grandaughter (1st grandchild)She was born whilst I was in hospital after 1st chemo. I was suffering from pancreatiitis and all I could do was cry because I really thought I was gonna die, at the time I really thought I was not gonna see her , have’nt taken her for a push in pram yet been to weak . This all sounds very emotional but thats how I feel , almost robbed of the one thing that I was determined to live for. I am presuming it’s your mum who has BC, give her a big hug from me and one for you of course love Bobbie
You poor lady. Do your boys not see the pain your in? I wish i knew them as I would give them a piece of my mind. God some people are so bloody selfish and self obsessed. But I know what it is like to have people like that around you when your seriously ill. I nearly died having my son, Was in intensive care for a week. When I was well enough to have visitors my step mum in law, (my hubbys step mum, his mum died 30 years ago of bc) Anyway she told me to pull myself togerther and get out of bed and stop being so selfish as I had two children to think of. I have never forgotten that. I tolerated her because I had too. But when my father in law died everyone decided to cut her out of our lives as she has been nothing but hateful. Could maybe you hubby, who sounds lovely speak to your sons and let them know how your feeling. Its just wrong that you have to put up with this. And yes my mum has breast cancer, and all I want to do is love her, and make her happy.
Hugs Jules xxx
Hello bobbie, Maybe your boys are a bit selfish, but i have three boys and i know they care but just inadequate of saying the right thing at the right time, on the other side of the coin my sister has been a right cow and even said to me that i get more attention from my mum and dad then she does because i have cancer!!! i have never asked for the attention given and find it sickening that she appears to be jealous of my condition
I think the old adage comes in here a sons a son till he takes a wife. Thank you all for getting back to me I have to try and put myself first but have never been that type of person. We do’nt want sympathy just a little TLC occassionally . My hubby has had a word, so have decided to keep back a little and see what happens. Love to you all BobbieXXX