fed up, is it worth it?

Thanks to those of you who wrote with supportive comments on my thread linking BC to a bereavement.

I am still feeling pretty down and thinking about seeing the doc about anti-depressents as I can’t shake myself out of this terrrible self-pity.

I feel totally crap mentally and physically. I hate the way I look, overweight, patchy thin hair, 1 boob. Now on top of that I have side affects from the arimidex. Terrible hot flushes which turn me bright red and I sweat so it’s obvious now to all what is happening to me. Disturbed sleep with these plus joint pain. Stress incontenance which my GP thinks is linked to the arimidex in that I no longer have oestrogen to help give my bladder muscel tone.

I am also getting a quite hairy face, mostly light coloured and soft at mo but I just want to remove it and know if I do it will grow back stubbly and I will have to remove it daily from then on.

I am wondering is the hormone treatment worth it as my quality of life feels pretty rubbish at present. I feel so unattractive, and OH hasn’t shown any interest for wks and I don’t care coz I have no sex drive anyway. I feel like a 70 yr old woman, and I’m not even 50 yet.

Work is hard too. I am on a phased return and currently working 1 full day a wk which sounds easy but its full on as I teach.

Just felt like I needed to off load, sorry. Think I’ll try and get some sleep if the painful knees will let me.

Irene

O Irene Ive just read your post and you have made me feel so sad for you. I finished chemo 8 weeks ago and I feel great My hair has come in great I put a dye on it so I am back to blonde now. I also put on a stone in weight but I joined the scottish slimmers 3 weeks ago and have lost 10 pounds so far I also am on Arimadex I do have a few joint pains I am starting a new job in 2 weeks I feel now I am getting my life back. Please dont think I am being smug as this is not my intention I was a bit down like you for a bit especially with no hair but one day I said to my self right Linda get yourself moving and I did I went out and treated myself to some new clothes and new make up and now I feel fantastic. I know its not that easy for some people but think to yourself. I still am not ready for a sex life yet as I hate the big hanging boob 38d cup I still sleep with my bra on as I do feel embarrased about it. We do still have a cuddle at night I know my husband is not bothered about it but I still am. I still do not look in the mirror undressed I went to the doctor during my chemo for anti depresants but all I got was a lecture about the 60s when people were given valium and got addicted to them so I came away with nothing. I do hope you start to feel better soon I will be thinking about you You Take Care Love Linda xxxxxx

Hi Irene

Sorry to hear you feel so awful at the moment. Just keep offloading, it will help I am sure. I had a mastectomy a week ago and I can’t quite get my head round the look of ‘the new me’. I gave up wearing the softie today as it just kept ‘ridding up with wear’ yesterday!
I have already gone through the losing my hair stage, I must say I didn’t look at myself too much in the mirror without a headscarf on. I was lucky enough to attend a ‘Looking Good Feeling Great’ session during my chemo and was taught how to apply make- up properly, the first time in my life!
Some days will be real crappy, but just take each day as it comes because looking for a light at the end of a tunnel can be too much sometimes.

Chin up girl, wishing lots of peace over the next few weeks.

Hi Irene
oh gosh your posting was so sad,I do hope we can meet up sometime.
I am at present trying to get myself back to ‘normal’ life. I am obviously not ‘normal’ but i try to live in this ‘normal’ world.

so many things i could say to you but not on here.

Take Care hun
Rxx

Hi Irene

I kow exactly how you feel but don’t know what I can suggest to help you cope. My sympathies are with you. As you probably remember from previous posts I had horrilbe side effects from taking Femara. They came immediately and I only persevered for 2 weeks.

My GP was surprised I took them for so long. I actually felt suicidal and looked to what pills I’d got. Don’t know if it was survival instinct or fear of failing that prevented taking them. I did think that if I took them C had won.

I’m now feeling a lot more like me (some problems still there) and I realise that I may not have as long left. However I am determined that I will LIVE a life not just be alive.

I hope that if you persevere the effects subside and I’m thinking about you.

Marilyn x

Hi there,

Sorry to read you are feeling so low.

Just a note on the hairy face. This is a common side effect and not permanent. The downy hair will disappear, so if you can just bear with it for now, it should soon be one less problem to deal with.

Jenny
x

Jenny, hope your right about the hair as have heard this before but mine just seems to get thicker!

Ruth, did you get my private message about a possible meet in L/Pool ?

Going to try a bit longer without anti-depressents. Feel a bit better after placing a thread on the hormone section and getting some positive info from there.

Thanks

irene

Hi Irene,

I just wanted to send you this…

((((((((((((((((((((o))))))))))))))))))))

Kelly
-x-

Hi Irene

I have no helpful advice unfortunately (sorry), other than to send you lots of love and a HUGE hug.

Lots of love

Julie xxx