Hi, i am new to the forum i am 31 and was diagnosed with Invasive Oestrogen receptor BC in August… 3 months after having my son, i thought and was told it’s probably nothing just a blocked duct from breast feeding - but it wasn’t, i had the tumor removed aswell as some of the breast and nipple. i am now on my 3rd cycle of chemo (FEC x6) which makes me really sick and weak for a week. although my partner has been supportive i feel like i am not allowed to snap be tired or have a low day here and there as it is starting to cause arguments. i just find the tiredness with my son who is now 8 months hard some days… and now having to justify myself on top of it all…
Hi dmkayp
Firstly, welcome to the Breast Cancer Care forums where I am sure you will receive valuable support and information from your fellow forum users very soon.
I am sorry you are feeling this way and would suggest that you may find Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service helpful, the telephone service aims to quickly put you in touch with one of our trained peer supporters, who has had a personal experience of breast cancer.
Our peer supporters are from diverse backgrounds and ages and have experienced different types of breast cancer and treatments. They are ready to listen, offer skilled emotional support and share their experiences and understanding.
For more information about this and other support available to you telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 or email <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>.
Best wishes
Lucy
dmkayp
I am fairly new to this too. I am 45 and was diagnosed end of November, had a bilateral mastectomy and start chemo next week. My children are older, 4 and 6. My partner is also supportive but I feel guilty when I have weepy times and dread the thought of leaving him to do everything as well as work full time when I start chemo. I can’t really suggest anything specific. We are going to a place called the Haven (theres one in London and one in Hereford). They offer all sorts of support (for partners too). To cope with an 8 month old at the best of times is hard but with all this going on too I think you are doing so well.
Judithx
Hi Judith,
i wish you well with the start of chemo…which are you having? also many thanks for the advise… i have never heard of the haven, i think he needs somebody to talk to as i find it hard to without the snapping as he doesn’t understand he has just been premoted whilst i feel proud and happy for him this means longer hours and less help at home during treatment …
Hi dmkayp no wonder you are fed up. I was diagnosed March 2005 age 31 also. I had gave birth the previous year to my son. So on top of the awful shock i had been diagnosed with breast cancer it was also so difficult having a 13 month old son to contend with, especially an active little boy who was in to everything ! My husband works off shore and although took time off at my diagnosis/surgery had to go back to work when i started my chemo treatment. My baby had to go and stay with my parents when my husband was working away as I wasn’t really well enough to look after him going through my chemo, it was the most horrendous time of my life and when he used to return from work and we were all back to the family unit, I found it so hard and would end up snapping at the least little thing and being very tearful. Yes it was hard for me but what i didnt realise at the time it was hard for him too. I really feel for you just now and can so relate to being a mum to a young one and having to go through this crap …
Just be kind to yourself do you have a good support network, is there anyone who can look after your little one and perhaps give you and your partner some time together, you dont even need to be doing anything, just being together the 2 of you on your own can be good for you.
sending you very warm wishes and thinking of you and things will get better, xx
dmkayp
Have now had 1st Fec this morning and feel happier that I am doing something about this thing. I think it is very hard for our partners. Mine is coming to the Haven with me. He is not very sociable and doesn’t have many friends with whom he can off load. I’m going on 21st Jan all being well after chemo so will let you know what it was like. I find it hard being alone and need to feel my days whilst I can so am going to a relaxation class tomorrow and wig fitting on Friday. I appreciate that with a baby all these things are much harder and whilst the support for people with breast care is amazingly good I think there is a gap for those with babies and children at home. Maybe one of the co-ordinators might know differently.
Speak soon.
Judith x
Hi Lorri,
i hope up are well, yes my parents have been really helping us with our son which with out them i don’t know what i would have done to be honest… i hate it when i have chemo as i can’t look after him it really rips me apart and i think that probably one of the worst things about all this as well as feeling like i have been hit by a bus most days, it must have been really hard for you with your husband working away… to be honest we don’t really go out as a couple and that’s probably what we need to do more but its having the energy when looking after our son all day. plus i feel bad as when i do have chemo my parents do a lot so i feel guilty asking them to look after him so we can go out …
Hi Judith,
Glad to hear you started with your first fec… now on the count down … i hope u are feeling ok with it all.
I think its harder for them to talk about it, with my partner he has a few friends but i think with a situation like this they try and take his mind off of it more than talk or listen so it builds up as he is a little apprehensive to talk in case i get upset or he feels like he hasn’t the right to feel the way he does. i know what you mean I used to be ok during the day being alone but it sounds silly but since the opp i find it really hard, i think support for families with young children is a really good idea.
dmkayp
Was sick during the afternoon after fec but then improved. Two days on I feel tired and low. Did you feel like that? Am finding it hard to pull myself together and feel pathetic.
Judith x
Hi Judith,
so sorry haven’t been logged in … i know this is prob a little late … but yes i can relate to it, you feel like you have been hit repeatedly by a bus and even getting up and going to the loo is tooo much of an effort, cycle 5 is on the 12/02 of the dreaded stuff and its all a little different from the last ones… last time i wasn’t sick as they gave me the anti drugs through the drip, i did feel like i was going to though for the next 3 days and then to top it all off i could eat for the 5 thousand (no joke !!) which with the steroids really isn’t too good on the waist and feeling good about ones self … so all in all a really bad combination of feeling low …
how are you feeling after the treatment say in the second and third week … i get really tired and some days can’t even be bothered to get dressed and look at the house work nad think yeah right …
Dmkayp x