I was diagnosed in May 2005 at the age of 34. I had lumpectomy, Radiotherpay and due to my age and having no children decided to have Drug therapy, Zoladex and Novaldex rather than Chemo. I made the decision for the same reasons to only take them for 2 years.
I had my final injection on the 12th August. I feel like I should be elated but I am so down. I read what other ladies go through and consider myself lucky to have had a fairly easy ride. Part of me feels that I should be up beat and happy all the time and that my treatment and experiences are really nothing compared to others, I have nothing to be upset about but I feel so guilty when I am tired or down and start beating myself up about my lucky escape! I almost think that I should have had it worse so that I can justify my feelings!! How bad is that?
I have also lost one of my best friends to a brain tumour and my beloved Grandma in the space of the last year. I am not coping with this and am so dissappointed in myself.
I was brave all the way through my treatment and now I am falling apart.
Hi Treec
I don’t think you should feel like a fraud but I know what you mean. I was dx Dec 06 , lumpectomy, rads and tamoxifen. Throughout treatment I was fine, quite strong and positive. This last 3 months I am a dithering wreck with anxiety, fears for the future, lethargic,depressed etc. I mentioned it to my breast care nurse at my 3 month check in Aug who said it was quite normal and thought I should go to the local cancer therapy centre. I plucked up courage and went last friday. I had to tell the counsellor everything from diagnosis to now. It felt good to talk to someone who wasn’t friend or family and who you didn’t want to burden with doom and gloom! She recommended 4 sessions of reiki which I start next week to allay fears and anxieties (if that doesn’t work at least I get to lie down for an hour each week)! Then I am assessed again. Will keep you posted as to whether it works. t took alot for me to admit that I maybe needed some help but I am glad I did now. Maybe you have a similar service available. Don’t go through this alone.
Take care
Shorty2 xx
You’re not a fraud but entirely normal. Most people feel ‘down’ immediately after treatment finishes. Suddenly the medical support stops and everyone expects us to go back to our usual selves but it’s not that easy.
And why should you cope easily with the death of one of your best friends and your grandma - people you cared about - especially when you’ve had a breast cancer diagnosis in the recent past.
I would like to welcome you to the forums and echo what shorty2 and Sue have said, that it is very common to have these feelings after treatment has finished, if you want a chat in confidence do give the helpline a call, the staff here are good listeners and have lots of helpful advice. The phone number is freefone 0808 800 6000 open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm & Saturdays 9am - 2 pm.
You may also find of interest The Younger Women’s Forum, these provide information and the chance to meet others in similar circumstances, these two-day events are for women aged 20-45 who have been diagnosed with breast cancer during the last three years.For further information contact the helpline or email <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>.