Feel like screaming! ~When will it all end?

Hi, have been at this game since October, and ok I am past the chemo, have had the matectomy but the hormone therapy is not easy!!!and its for five years!!! I now have to face the prospect of a sore chest after radiotherapy and hot weather, so i wont be able to wear a bra with a protheses, so what can i do to look more symmetrical! When will I be able to get out of a chair or out of bed without moaning with stiffness and aching joints? I dont know if my patience can hold up much longer, plus my ex has just been taken in for major heart surgery so i have both children full time, help help help. Why is htere no support for single Mums out there? Plus i cant work because i am too tired, aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!

So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with the hormone therapy and that you are worried about the rads and the problems that you may suffer with them. I can’t offer any advice on the looking symetrical issue as I did not have a mastectomy.

I was/am a single parent but my son is nearly 19 now so he can see to himself (in theory) so I didn’t have the issue of small children to deal with. Do you ahve family who can help out - if not it might be worth approaching your social work department to ask about help with the children whilst you have them full time.

Being a single parent is a hard enuff job and dealing with BC and it’s complications is hard … to have to deal with the 2 together just makes it all the harder.

Well done on getting to the end of it all, I am just on the tamoxifen now and I am struggling with the side effects but my onc said they prove the treatment is working so I cant argue with that. Also didn’t have a mastectomy so cant offer advice on that side, sorry. As far as managing with the kids I feel for you, I have been a single parent in the past and hubby works away all the time so sort of still am but like lilacblushes [I love that user name] mine are now 19 and 18 so not such hard work physically although emotionally is a whole different thing. Hopefully we will get a decent summer so although you will have to cover up at least you should be able to get out with them abit and not be stuck indoors going stir crazy.
I finished everything in early Jan and am just starting to get energy back although Friday night is a bit of a write-off.
Best of luck and hope your ex is Ok too.
AJxxx

Hi there
I started my rads nearly 3 wks ago and have very sensitive skin. I am getting zapped in three places and so far my skin has been fine. I put the cream they give you on twice a day.
I noticed in the changing cubicle there is a note to say about wearing your protheses directly after rads because of the pen marks buts thats all. You may find you will be able to wear it.
Started Tamoxifen recently as well and it is a bit daunting taking it for 5 yrs.
All the best
Alison

Thinking about you Marsha, I’m much older than you, but at the same stage in treatment…looking after my grandchildren tomorrow (3 & 6) cannot imagine all day every day.
Yes have a good scream, and then get on with it…us women have amzing strength to draw on when we have to!
love and a big hug, Zoe x

JMarsha7

It’s a right old game eh? But try not to worry too much about the rads. I had a mastectomy/chemo/rads (am now on Arimidex and Herceptin), but I found the rads a doddle compared to all the other stuff.

I didn’t even develop the faintest tinge of pink on my chest during treatment and wore my underwired bra’s (with pockets) and prosthesis with no problems at all. I was very upset and worried about what to do if I couldn’t wear them, as I have a large bust on a very small frame and it would have been very noticeable! If necessary I would have used the softie/cumfie that I was given immediately post-surgery, but, as I said I was fine.

Take care, and here’s a ((((((((hug)))))))

xxxx

thanks to everybody who sent such lovely positive messages to me. I have come through the worse, invested in some ruffled summer tops(all the fashion now) and findish rads next week. Am thinking of starting a support group for single Mums, cos not only is there no support, there is very little sympathy out there. We finish treatment, and then having become exhausted by the treatment, and caring for kids every day, we are then forced to return to work financially within a few weeks. We get no time to recuperate, or convalesce. The 'Government has no respect for the vital job we Mums do. I can’t afford to go on holiday, although both Kids and myself could really do with one, as they have been my main carers. Under these circumstances, it is a wonder that we single Mums recover at all, and I wonder just how much our chances of staying stress free and so free of cancer are affected by our circumstances.

all the best to everyone.
Jx

I think starting a support group is a wonderful idea - but having been involved with things like toddlers and playgroups and later on with youth clubs etc be aware of how much of your time it can take up. Just make sure that you get a group of others to help out and don’t take on too much.

I hope that you are managing to deal with the everything now. I know what it’s like being single and trying to juggle work and home and everything else.

You may be entitled to a Macmillan grant to help pay for a holiday for you & the kids.

HI jmarsha7

I am writing to let you know about the Breast Cancer Care telephone support group which offers you a chance to get together once a week to talk with people who’ve been there. Linked together by phone in comfortable surroundings, you can discuss the practical and emotional impact of living with breast cancer. The groups are free (we pay for the phone calls) and as long as you have access to a phone and have a quiet private place from which to call, you can join us from anywhere in the UK.

There is also the live chat session every thursday between 9pm and 10pm. Here you are able to share your experiences and feelings with other people in similar situation to yourself. This session is run on-line by a trained facilitator and a Breast Cancer Care nurse. For more information about these services please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm) or email:

info@breastcancercare.org.uk

I hope you find this helpful
Best wishes
Lucy