Feeling A Little Low

Hi Everyone,

Have been really postitive about the dreaded BC thoughout and have put on a brave face,carried on as normal through all the treatment.

Finished my chemo and rads at the end of May,and have felt wonderful since the treatment has finished got on doing all the normal things, have felt a lot fitter and even started back to keep fit this week. As i didnt dare go back to keep fit with the wig on as i thought it might fall off during the class.Ha Ha

Then the bombshell was dropped last night. A guy that we work with his wife had Breast Cancer about 5years ago she died yesterday and its just brought all the worries back to me and my husband, i cant stop crying and i havent cried this much since i was diagnosed its just too close to home.

I feel like i’m being selfish as her husband must be going through hell at the moment and i just keep thinking about myself and i hope i have longer than 5 years left in my life she was a little older than me as i am only 42 but this dreaded disease doesnt have any boundaries, as we are all too aware.

Sorry for this dreary message i wish i had good news for you all but i know that you wonderful women out there are hear for us in good times and bad and would just like a little support.

Thank You All for being there and having someone to talk to.

Love to you All, Take Care

JanW

Hi Jan

I read your message and immediately went off-line, the fear element I suppose, but I am back again and trying to put our feelings into words. No you are not being selfish at all, none of us who have gone through BC take anything for granted and when we hear bad news those awful feelings of dread and fear rise to the surface. We just want to run away and hide and hope that IT doesn’t find us. The problem is by hiding it doesn’t protect us, we have to face it head on and fight to the very last, its the only way to beat it. Yes there are going to be times when we hear that someone has died of BC but there are lots of times now that we hear of many more people surviving for a long long time too.

I know its hard but try to be optimistic, not everyone dies of BC who get it, not everyone dies of a heart attack if they get one, not everyone dies of a stroke if they have one, so on and so on.

I hope I have helped a little and do apologise if for any reason I have offended. I can be quite blunt sometimes and hurt peoples feelings without intending to.

Do please tell me how you are getting on - it helps to talk it through.

Love Jan

Hi Jan

As Jan has said it can help to talk, please do not hesitate to contact our helpline if you feel that you would like to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment.
Our specialist nurses can offer you support, information and a listening ear.
The helpline number is 0808 800 6000 Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.
Kind regards
Sam
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

hi jan sorry to hear you are going through a bad time at the moment ,we all have these worries and doubts we would not be human if we didnt its what we go through believe me ,well on a happier note i will be 7yrs cancer free in january next year and i am still going strong just had my yearly check-up and every thing is fine so just to let you know not every one dies just because they had some kind of cancer take care

angelx

Hi Jan,

I too wanted to post and encourage you. I do understand how this sort of news comes and smacks us in the face at times. I know for some time I was not able to face things like funerals and it came to crunch when my brothers wife died of bc just as I was dx with secondaries. I have to confess I was very relieved in a way because i received the news while I was abroad on holiday. My family were adamant that I did not cut it short to be back for her funeral and you know - i think she would have understood too. Some things just come a bit too close for comfort don’t they? It is said that it is very much like bereavement - those who have lost someone close think they are just getting it together when they get a set back. But each time you will come back from it stronger. I was dx in my mid 40s and am now 62 - there are survivors out here and you if you can live your life believing that you can be one too you will get the most out of what you have. Don’t be ashamed of the tears - sometimes we need to cry.

Dawnhc

Hi to all that have replied,

I take great comfort that you are all out there in the same position and you care enought to try and make me feel better.

I feel a little better today went to keep fit which i didnt feel like doing but felt better for doing so. I still can’t stop thinking about my colleagues wife and family but it really does help when people like Dawn tell us that years down the line they are still with us and have such positive things to tell us. Thank You So Much for that it really does help.

Thanks also to Angel & Jan your words of comfort help so much. We are all in this together and i hope i will be there for others when they need me when i’m feeling more up beat about life.

Thanks also to Sam i may use the number or keep it for the future

Love to you all

JanW