Although I know you have probably all felt like this at one point or another I just had to write and say how awful I feel (yes am prob feeling a bit sorry for myself!!)
Had my first chemo on Monday just past and kind of felt rough all week, but absolutely nothing like yesterday and today. Can barely sit up, have zero energy and cannot stand for even a few mins. I am usually such a fit and active person so am find this really tough and I really cant stand the thought and prospect of doing it at least another 5 times!!! I know I really have no choice if I want to beat the awful disease but god its not an easy thought. I assume I am not the only one feels like this??
This feels like an existence rather than living. Maybe I am being a complete and utter woose??? Keep thinking each day will get better but instead seems to get worse!
Hope you are all doing ok
Hopefully come on feeling better tomorrow (she says typing with fingers crossed)
Hugs to all
Fiona
xx
I have my chemo on Tuesdays and my worst days are the following Sat and Sunday so it sounds as if you and I follow the same pattern and you should start to feel much better tomorrow. I have decided that I should just give in and sleep as much as possible in the first few days, particularly these 2 days. After the first chemo I tried to go out at the weekend and I was almost in tears because I could hardly walk and felt as if I was 100 years old! I won’t do that again.
I hope you do notice a change tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like giving up too but I remind myself of the statistics as the chemo is meant to give me a much better chance in the long run.
Just to encourage anyone about to go onto chemo … my daughter has had 4 Pac/Gem and although not too bad for a couple of days did get very tired towards the end of that first week. She ached a lot in her back and had very itchy hands but she was still able to carry on reasonably normal ( she has 5 cats, a puppy and builders in the house … talk about glutton for punishment) but other than that was fine the second week. She has now started 4 sessions of EC and had her 1st one last Monday. She felt nauseous for two days and had very little appetite but is fine again now. Once again it didn’t stop her carrying on as normal apart from first thing in morning… We have been told that it was the Paclitaxol (taxol) that made her very achy before. Now its the E part of EC that makes her nauseous for a couple of days. She has had no aching at all this time or itchy hands. But over all she has been hardly affected by the chemo and has been pleasantly surprised as she expected far worse. The hair thing is awful of course but she just wears big hats and a wig to go out anywhere special. She has been told though that she will now lose her eyelashes and eyebrows with E. Until now she has kept hold of them. So now its big hats and big sunglasses! Only 3 more to go we keep telling her. She has also been taking echinacea by the way to help boost her immune system. The oncs said it was OK. Incidentally the steroids did help stop the aching muscles. You don’t say Fiona whether you are taking steroids.
Sue
Anne - thanks. Sounds like we are following the same pattern - I will live in hope for tomorrow to be a better day! How many chemos have you had?
Sue - I only get 3 days of steroids as part of my anti sickness regime. I had a really aching back yesterday and was putting it down to not doing much and had really bad heartburn!!
Really sympathise as I’m having a bad chemo day…no energy, can’t stand up, can’t enjoy the sunshine.Each time I swear I’ll not do another but somehow I always do…this is round 14 for me…had 10 2003/2004 and back on the treadmill again.
All I can say is that you will pick up, you will feel better, you probably will keep going cause that’s what most of us do…no choice much as you say.
Hi again Fiona … Yes its wonderful isn’t it … they tell you to exercise but with aches and pains how can you? I went for walk with Lisa one evening to help her exercise and she ached like mad afterwards, but did it bless her … you do have to give in to it sometimes. I can sympathise so much with you. Watching my normally healthy, vibrant daughter have days where she doesn’t feel like doing anything is awful. And as she puts it getting fat and bald! But as I said its not as bad as we first feared when she was told that she would be sick and ill and have to stay in bed. I so wish it was me but it isn’t and I have to be strong for her, we try to do something positive each day and to be honest she is the brave one as I am sure you are. In fact all of you are as I realize when I am sat in the chemo ward with Lisa chatting to the other patients.
Keep strong and just take each day as it comes, one morning you ARE going to feel better and you WILL beat this thing in the end, so many women are now surviving this damned awful disease … my heart goes out to you all.
Sue
I usually feel quite tired the first and second day, which happen to be Saturday and Sunday. I take Monday off work too and I’m usually OK by Tuesday. But I do have patches or nausea/drowsiness during the whole 3 week period. Nothing too bad so far, last Tuesday (4 days before chemo) , I was at work and could barely keep my eyes open. No seats on the bus on the way home and all I could think was to scream “someone get up I’ve got cancer!!” but couldn’t really! Irritability is another thing but that’s just the tiredness.
Hope you can work out your response and get into a regime where you don’t plan to do anything on the worst days. I’m figuring that all out now.
Know how you feel…we went for a walk today and a slight hill which I usually race up took me ages to walk up…I was sooooooooooooooooo slow… and I am so very tired and fed up of the hot flushes I am having…hey ho… we will get through it, just remember that there are people here who know exactly how it feels and are always around for you to groan moan and complain to!
Big huggles and hope you are feeling brighter tomorrow. xxx
Know how you feel. Stick with it you can do it. I had never in my life felt so lethargic and exhausted. I am 57 but prior to diagnosis I felt I could have jumped over cars. I found it so hard to be that tired. I decided to give in to it and accepted that for 5 months I was going to feel like that. I di d have the odd day when I was a bit better but was breathless and exhausted all the way through. Here I am three months post chemo and today I feel I could jump over a car. having said that I was showing off skipping for a young lass and trying to do the ‘bumps’ Nebucadnezzar the king of the Jews and on the bump I fell fat on me bum !! so not up to peak yet but hope to be soon!! Joking aside I think most women feel like you. You are having a kind of poison pumped into your body. I moaned for 5 months to the brilliant folk on here and that certainly helped you are not a woose you are going through savage debilitating treatment. Doss in bed and do nowt it will soon be over and you will feel well again lots of love Eileen
How are you feeling today? I have had 2 chemos, the 3rd was due last Tuesday but has been postponed by a week as they couldn’t get a vein and I am having a PICC line put in . Otherwise I would be having my “bad weekend” now as well.
Hope today is better for you. The sun is shining here which always improves things!
Thank you all so much for all your thoughts and encouragement. I am not long up so dont really know how I feel today - the signs are not good right now but will give it time. Gonna at least try and have a shower to freshen myself up.
Unfortunatley its a dull day here so have not even got the sunshine to spur me on - (not that it worked yesterday!!). Spose one bonus is the oh came over yesterday and I got him to do all the dishes that had mounted up
As you all say I will get through it (as we all do), but its so hard to be posiitive and strong all the time! It is a horrible disease with horrible poisnous treatment to sort it - its definately a case of looking at the bigger picture.
I have my next chemo tomorrow so will no doubt have a very miserable weekend next weekend which is such a shame as it is the balloon fiesta here in Bristol which I usually look forward to.
Feeling a little better every day - still cant seem to stand for 2 mins withouth feeling awful but sure this will pass. Have also lost 1/2 stone in weight in 1 week - bit scary as I cant really afford to (never thought I would ever say that!!)
If I can stand in the shower this morning I will have a stroll to the shop this afternoon - warned my 14 year old she may need to carry me back tho!
