feeling low & lonely

feeling low & lonely

feeling low & lonely Hello,

I have posted a few times on these forums and you ladies have been a god send to me in the last couple of months. I don’t post very often as i don’t know how to express what i feel and i am worried i may say something the wrong way and upset someone, but i feel that reading the posts i have contact with people who understand what i am going through.

My family seem to have disappeared into the background and it is me doing the ringing around checking to see every one is alright, my sister is busy with her family, my dad, who i’m not close to suffers from MS and my husband just carries on in his own world. The person i could do with right now is my mum, but she died of overian cancer 17 years ago.

I don’t see an end to this battle as i have only just started chemo and then have to have rads followed by more surgery for recon.
I’m sorry for feeling sorry for my self as i know a lot of you ladies are worse off than me, but i don’t have anyone else to talk to.
Thank you all for just listening to me and best wishes to you all.

Candy.

Hi Candy Hi Candy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling at a low ebb. Try to keep your chin up. I dont think your family are being deliberately unkind I think they are probably scared of upsetting you by saying the wrong thing and probably just think saying nothing is better. Could you try talking to them about it and asking them to treat you as they “normally” (God I hate the word normal) would. I bet you are feeling very vulnerable at the moment, but as you know by reading the forums there are so many people on here to talk to and share your troubles with. As they say a trouble shared… and all that.
I cannot say I know how you feel right now as I am still awaiting my second scan after advised I had a fibroadenoma last summer and now have second lump but I do understand how it feels to think you are alone in what you feel. My family is not really saying much at the moment either, Mum just keeps saying “dont worry its nothing i bet you” but people dont understand that this does nothing to relieve the stress or worry you feel. Husband does not broach the subject with me and does not talk much if I raise the issue with him. Just his way of dealing at the moment I think. Anyway enough of my rambling. Just thought I would reply so you knew I was online if you needed a chat at all.

Keep smiling. These things were sent to test us.

Love and best wishes.

Thinking of you.

Jo
xx

Candy

So sorry to hear how low your are. I know how you feel about your mum. Like you I lost mine to ovarian cancer 18 years ago. My strongest supporters are my dad who has been here with me for 3 weeks now since I started my chemo (that I am having before my surgery) and my sister who is coming back to spend some time with me next month - the first time she has been back since she emigrated 16 years ago
Stay strong. All of us on this forum are here to support you and we will

Loads of love
Sharon

Hi Candys

I’m sorry you don’t seem to be getting the support you need right now.

I think one of the worst parts of the whole breast cancer experience is that it opens our eyes to how self-absorbed people can be. I don’t think there is one among us who hasn’t experienced the bitter blow of being let down by loved ones. Unfortunately it seems to go with the territory.

I find that the further I get away from diagnosis the less people around me understand how I feel and I am finding myself drawn more to message boards such as this one.

Please don’t ever feel that you can’t post because you are scared of saying the wrong thing. Wrong things get said. They get sorted out. We are a very forgiving bunch here! And, any way, you expressed yourself very well in your post.

I would keep coming here. It’s a great place to sound off and you definitely feel less alone. Another options is a local breast cancer support group. I never thought that would be my kind of thing but I’ve been considering it myself lately. Sometimes other survivors are the only ones who ‘get it’.

Keep posting!

Lola x

Thank you. Dear all,

Thank you to the kind ladies who have replied to my post.
I feel a bit better this morning and i will try and persuade hubby to help me in the garden today as gardening helps my stress levels and as the sun will be shining he may relent ( he hates gardening ).

Thanks again and i will try and post a bit more often.

Candy

Dear Candy I am sorry to read that you are feeling this way at the moment. You may find it helpful to contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000 for support and also for information about our other support services which may be of interest to you. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

One example is our ‘Peer support’ service whereby you can be put in touch with someone, by telephone, who may have had a similar experience to you and who is trained to offer support and a ‘listening ear’ . You can read more about this and our other services via the front page of the website under the ‘Support for you’ tab too.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Kind regards
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Breast Cancer Care