feeling miserable

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2006, had the chemo, radio and lumpectomy and during the treatment was positive, up beat and o.k. The treatment finished in December 2006 and I returned to work and felt relatively happy. For the past couple of months I have felt miserable, I don’t think I am depressed, I just feel that I am taken for granted by my family who think that now I have undergone all of the treatment etc, that I should be on top of the world and back to normal. They don’t understand that nagging thought in the back of your mind that it might come back.

My friend has also just been diagnosed with breast cancer which seems to of added to my misery. Whats wrong with me. I used to be very organsied and on top of things but now I find everything a chore.

I am always weary but can’t sleep all night, am putting on weight but can’t focus in on dieting or exercising.

Don’t know what to do - any suggestions.

Fudge

Dear Fudge

There are a couple of Breast Cancer Care’s support services that might be of interest to you. The first is Breast Cancer Care’s telephone support group. It’s a chance to get together once a week to talk with people who’ve been there. Linked together by phone in comfortable surroundings, you can express your feelings and discuss the practical and emotional impact of living with breast cancer. The groups will be particularly useful for you if you feel isolated. The groups are completely free (we pay for the phone calls) and as long as you have access to a phone and have a quiet private place from which to call, you can join us from anywhere in the UK.

There is also Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service. The telephone service aims to quickly put you in touch with one of our trained peer supporters, who has had a personal experience of breast cancer. Our peer supporters are from diverse backgrounds and ages and have experienced different types of breast cancer and treatments. They are ready to listen, offer skilled emotional support and share their experiences and understanding. For more information about these and our other support services available to you please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm) or email:

info@breastcancercare.org.uk

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Fudge,
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so rubbish. Keep coming on here and let it all out!
Is there anyone you’ve met who you feel does understand you? Maybe someone else with BC (I don’t mean your newly-diagnosed friend), a BC nurse or an old friend, even if they live miles away? Sometimes it just really helps to have one good chat with someone who understands.
Have you tried talking straight to your family? I know it hurts that they don’t understand/think about how it feels for us, but sometimes we expect them to be mindreaders and we just have to tell them how it is. Sometimes people ignore the BC because they are trying to protect us from upset. The wrong thing to do, but the motive is right.
As for your friend being diagnosed - I would find that really hard. I haven’t had any friends, but other Mums at school or acquaintances have been diagnosed, and it just stirs up all sorts of horrible and unexplainable feelings.
Is it worth talking to your GP about how you feel - your lack of get-up-and-go could be depression or something?
I hope you get some support soon, or some light at the end of the tunnel
Hugs
Jacquie x

Hi Fudge

A lot of us have found this article very helpful. Hope you do.

cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604834/FILE/article3.pdf?openElement

best wishes

Jane

Hi Jane

Thanks for the article, I am going to download it and read it. Just talking and putting how I feel into words has helped. Feel a bit brighter today.

Fudge

Thanks for all the help and just being there to listen to my moaning. You are quite right that just logging onto this website and chatting to all of you is a great help and support.

My poor friend has had to go for a bone scan and xray on her back as she had had backache for sometime now which they suspect could be linked to the bc.

Thanks for the hug.

Fudge

fudge … your thread strikes a chord.
I have always felt a bit low in Jan and Feb - but since BC somehow its been worse. I over-eat over Christmas - and then can’t stop, which makes me feel even more miserable. Very hard to “snap-out-of-it” I know. I can’t give any words of wisdom, but will say that last year improved once spring arrived, so I am hopeful this year will too.

Wow! That article is amazingly insightful, JaneRA. I recognised a lot of my own feelings in there - for example, last Friday, I walked out of the hospital after my last radio session and, rather than feeling the joy and elation I’d anticipated, all I wanted to do was cry. I’m bouncing back now, but I do feel as though I’ve got to learn a new way of getting through life from day to day.

Yvonne

Hi your comments strike a chord with me too, I have had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy, and am now on tamoxifen and herceptin. I am so down at the moment I feel totally desolate, friends and family who supported me so well now consider the treatment to be over and that I am cured. I have returned to work full time now and am finding that during the day I can remain reasonably positive but when I get home there’s the cancer cloud over me again. No one is receptive to my moans any more I think I have worn them out. I cant imagine having this hanging over me for the years to come.