feeling really fed up and need some friends

Hi eveybody this is my first time. im feeling so lonley at the moment, and as you probly all know its only us that can understand what each of us is feeling.
Ill tell you all a bit about my self, just turnt 34, diagnoised with breast cancer in feb 08, was miss diagnoised a year ago. ive got a 7 ayear old beautiful daughter called angel and she is my perfect angel. I had a missscarage a month before i was diagnoised after trying for 3 years. had a perfect partner, well what i thought was a perfect partner untill he left me 3 weeks ago told me couldent handel it.[neither can i sometimes] and i just buried my friend who had secondary cancer yesterday who i miss so much already SO SO MUCH, she was there when i first got told even when she was batterling with her own. I miss her so much and why does life have to be so unfair you go through toughts of why ME AGHHHHH what have i done to deserve this. we will never know just LIFE, and have to remember all the great things that have been and will eventuly come.
im so scared sometimes, but then so angry with myself for letting it make me feel that
Sorry everybody very depressing i know, but theres nobody here and i feel like running away even though i know i cant and at time like these i would be calling my friend but shes gone.
Oh well i will keep my head high and my fighting gloves on just needed a moan and to let it all out thanks

love to all you beautiful strong and couragous women.

NICKY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

hi tricky
there is no message from you, so will wait as there may be a delay. log off here and join us on the live chat, just about to start, it will be a great help. follow link on main page to live chat.
hope to see you there
deb x

hi nicky.
see your message now! so sorry with all you are going through and the loss of your friend. cant say same about partner, what a loser! you dont need someone like that when you are dealing with all this. you will find strength from your daughter, im sure. Believe me, we all feel like you at the beginning, but you have a reason to keep fighting this and i am sure you will find this site a great help and make some good friends. where are you with the treatment? i am sure you will receive lots of messages on your thread and support and i wish you luck. we are all here for you, so keep in touch and do make sure you ‘talk’ to us whenever you need to.
love
deb x

Hi Nicky,
It sounds like you have been having a rough few months, you dont have to apologise for being depressing, we all need to get it out, and sometimes writing on this forum is just what we need. Wot a bastard oops sorrry cant handle it, I think it is very hard for partners cos men dont talk much and find it all very difficult, maybe he just needs abit of space and will then be able to give you the support you need and deserve. I know I sometimes felt I cant handle it either and wanted to run away. As you say you know you cant but I think it does make you feel like that at times.

How is your Angel about your illness and him leaving, must be hard on her too.? I am so sorry about your friend, she sounds like a good friend whats her name, where did you meet her have you known each other long? Do you have other family or friends that can support you at this sad time.

Wot stage are you at in your treatment. Are you having chemo, ops rads etc. I was diagnosed July 07 and have just finished rads, so i am all done other than for tamoxifen every day for 5 years. It seems a long time but you will get there.
Ask anything you want, share your worries or concerns there is always someone to help on this site, its brill.
Take care
thinking of you
Dawn X

Hi Nicky

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, where you will receive lots of help and support from the other users. It sounds like you’re having a pretty rough time at the moment, may I suggest you give the BCC helpline a call. Here you are able to talk in confidence about how you are feeling to one of our trained members of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as advice and support when required.

The number to ring is freephone 0808 800 6000 the lines being open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this helps.

Kind regards

Sam
BCC Facilitator

Nicky

Hi its Nikki again

Sarahs chemo buddy

Im only in Rickmansworth if you need a chat anytime i can pm you my number sweetie, i have also sent you a private message re Sarah so please please stay in touch

And a big kick up the f’ing behind to that rat of a man!!!

Nikki xxxx

Im so sorry you are having a hard time, come here and moan as much as you can, I do, it does help
xx

Nicky,

What a dreadful time you are having,it must be so hard to lose a friend to BC while undergoing treatment yourself.Never mind your OH up and leaving!
You need to concentrate on you and your daughter.That is what is important for now.
Feel free to moan on here,we all do.We all laugh and cry on here.
Hugs,
Dot
xxx