Feeling really sad.

Hi everyone. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow morning to discuss a new treatment plan. I’ve been on fulvestant and kisquali for 8 mths and have tolerate it so well. Because of this medication I remain stable with some reduction in my lung but the largest met in my liver has increased so a change of medication is needed. I’m feeling so sad and low this evening. It feels like I’m in morning for the meds I was on. Although that’s stupid as when I started them I was scared. I know if they have stopped working I need to change but chemo terrifies me. Sorry to share and moan. I know it’s what needs to happen xx

Hi Jennie60,

I haven’t had personal experience of changing my treatment so far but I would say it’s perfectly natural to mourn the loss of one treatment and then have to face another one.  Any treatments we have, it becomes like a strange kind of companion, we take the tablet or we have the treatment and we hope and hope it works for us.

You are bound to feel apprehensive, nervous and just plain scared about tomorrow, I’d be the same.  I first had chemo 15 years’ ago and I remember feeling so worried beforehand - I likened it at the time to walking into a room from one door and leaving via another. 

I sincerely wish you all the best for tomorrow and I hope it goes well.

Sending you a big hug xxxxxxxx.

Hi Jennie

I know exactly how you feel, as I’m sure many of us do who have been told our current treatment is no longer working. I had such a downer when I was first told my existing treatment had to be changed because up until that point I’d always been told I was stable so it was such a shock to then be told I wasn’t. You get into a routine with a treatment and accept its ups and downs and work around them (the side effects I mean). You are then thrust into the unknown which is very scary and unsettling. Believe me you are not alone in this, especially anyone who has been living with secondaries for a long time will know. I think after that first time I then accepted that it would happen again and I wouldn’t always be told my scan results was stable, I might sometimes be told my scan result showed progression. This doesn’t mean my disease has got worse and worse over time, sometimes the new treatment has been more successful than the existing one which has meant my liver mets have been knocked back even more than before. So don’t lose heart, find out what the new treatment will be and then do a bit of research if you feel up to it and learn a bit about it. This forum is great for that as you get real experiences not just ‘published’ information which is what a lot of websites have on them.

Nicky x