I had an op in sept for milk duct removal, was diagnosed mid oct and had my second op, WLE, on 2nd Nov. I went to the hospital yesterday, Haslar in Gosport which is brilliant and had a good visit. Got told I did not need further surgery and would start 6 weeks of radiotherapy in January. Up until now I have been so upbeat and positive and apart from the odd moment have managed to stay cheerful. Now suddenly I am a gibbering wreck. I cant make a decision about whether to go back to work pre rediotherapy burst into tears each time I look at my Husband and just feel so useless. I should be happy after yesterday so what has gone wrong. Is it usual to go from being okay to being a wreck Help!!
Thanks
Hilary
Hi Hilary,
Its very usual to go from being okay to being a wreck…I think most of us have and may still feel like that.
I think its partially to do with the reality of the diagnosis of Cancer and what that does and may involve.
I have found the whole Breast Cancer journey a complete roller coaster of emotional up’s and down’s…I was diagnosed in jan 04, 12mm tumour, lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and now Tamoxifen, my tumour was grade 3 no nodes involved and ER+.
If you don’t feel up to it then leave going back to work until after your radiotherapy…some people find going back to work helps them to regain some normality…but some prefer to wait until treatment is over and your body has had time to recover before returning…don’t feel bad about not being able to make a decision…you have had life changing and devestating news…its one hell of alot to deal with.
Are your employers putting pressure on you for a decision?
Thanks for your reply. i know what you mean about a roller coaster!! My employers are being brilliant and have said take all the time I need but that just makes me feel worse though heaven knows why. It should make the decision easier but it doesnt seem that way. Cannot believe I have turned into such an airhead!! I hope you are recovering well and thanks again
Best wishes
Hilary
I have just come back from my planning session for my rads, and they have marked me up etc. then told me it will be at least three weeks before they can start, I am really upset, thought I was gonna get everything done by the end of the year and would be back at work by then, now I am just a gibbering wreck, can’t stop crying. My employers have been brill but I can’t get round this having to wait thing, anyway rant over.
I have got to wait until January for radiotherapy so I know how you feel. Apparently a cry does you good but I am not sure how. I feel worse if people are nice to me which seems really strange. Do you feel like everyone is being so careful when around you. How long does it take for life to get back to normal?
Good luck with your rads
best wishes
Hilary
Know what you mean, people being nice and I end up with a lump in my throat, then start blubbing. Don’t know how long it takes to get back to normal (if I ever was lol) just got annoyed I think coz I thought I was going to have finished treatment before New Year, but its not to be.
Good luck with your rads, how many are you having?
Hi Heather
I agree with you I dont think I was ever normal!! Been out tonight and am now convinced that everyone was staring at me. Cannot believe I am being so vain as probably no one noticed me. Know what you think about being annoyed with it taking so long I think I thought it would all be over in a couple of weeks. I have got to have 29 lots of rads and will hopefully start just after xmas, Something to look forward to!!!
Take care
Hilary