Morning lovely ladies.
Well three months after my first mammogram I had the first stage of my treatment yesteday.
Bill (Area of ALH )was evicted via vacuum excision
Waiting for results from that then Ben (actual tumor) gets his eviction via WLE
Dont understand why I am feeling so very emotional today.
Have been fighting back tears since early this morning.
I thought I would be feeling happy but im more scared today than i think ive been since my journey began.
Obviously I’m sore so that is a constant reminder at the moment.
I just don’t understand my feelings I’m all over the place.
Anyone else feeling so “out of it”
Thanks as always lovely ladies for being there when the rest of the world is in that haven we used to refer to as
Undisturbed sleepxxx
Nikkit
I am sorry to read that you are struggling today. It is totally natural to have these times and I am sure we all relate to the way you are feeling, almost like this is happening to someone else not me. I dont know if you had an aneasthetic yesterday but if so that will be playing with your emotions.
I think suddenly it has become very real and you are having to deal with all the emotions and anxiety of your diagnosis but it will soon be over and Ben will be out of your body. Have you got a date for your WLE yet?
In a similar vein 7 weeks ago I was told I was having a hysterectomy, been absolutely fine about it up until now and with a week to go the old anxiety monster is playing with my rational mind. All we can do is take each day at a time, if you are feeling tearful today then let it happen it is a natural release, I was sitting with a colleague talking on Thursday and I just burst into tears, I felt so silly as I didnt know where it came from but I obviously needed to let those emotions go.
Sending you gentle hug
Helena xxx
Hi Nikkit,
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there & had days like this as you describe. Going through this is a shock & there are days when it just catches up with us, that’s all.
It can help to just go with it, it does pass & is just part of an emotional reaction to it all.
ann x
Dear Nikkit, sorry to hear you are feeling low this morning, but understandably so - we never know when our deeper feelings are going to come out and grab us - but here is the beauty of the Forum, where we don’t do normal office hours, or close at weekends - always someone here to chat with, or some advice to be found that just ‘hits the spot’ and makes us feel a bit better.
There will be someone along much more able to help you with the right words than me - but I woke from very warm sleep ( I blame the Letrozole ) and another night of the weirdest, complex dreams, and thought that actually, a cup of tea was the better alternative, and just let you know that I’m up too!!
Step at a time, feel sorry for yourself when you need to, you are entitled - and if you are up to going out at the moment, I recommend a walk, a coffee shop, and watching the world go by - and maybe an engrossing book if you can find one. All the best and hugs to you xxx
Thanks Helena
I fid think that its probably to do with the start oc actual treatment. I suppose all the time its" just " biopsies and MRIs its quite surreal… coikd be watching from afar.
Buf when you see a bit of your boib sitting on the side in a room with 6 radiographer/surgeons (no not general anaesthetic) it all becomes very real.
No date for WLE yet. Results and treatment plan is 19th.
Am i right in thinking that my op coikd be quite quick after that
Im sorry you are having such an awful time too. Makes me feel like a wimp.
Hope your op goes well xx
Thank you ladies.
It really does help to know there ia someone else there.
I am incredibly lucky in that i have a close family and friends but I am also one if those people who constantly feel guilty for everything. So i do struggle with telling people how im feeling. I guess i like the anonimity of this forum.
My daughter is starting a new job on Mobday and trying to move into a new flaf at the same time so I feel i dont want her to be worrying about me too.
Its hard work being strong all the time.
Im not a “me time” person so find all this very alien
Thank you xxx
How is it that kind words can reduce me to tears so easily?
Also my typing is appalling. I can spell honestly!!
Im going to get up and go for a gentle walk. Make the most of the good weather.
Have a lovely day kind ladies and thank you for always being there xx