Going to have a moan today! Had a bad night couldn’t get to sleep with this bloody cough so ended up taking 2 sleeping tablets as they’re fairly mild.
Supposed to go to radiotherapy this morning but couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed. I feel so out of control with this boloody disease and can’t bring myself round today. I had a dream recently where I was walking down a dark lonely road at night and saw this long hearse driving very slowly a few yards behind me and I no mateer what i did i couldn’t get away etc.
That’s self explanatory folks and I’m not coping that well with it.
Hi Magda, sorry you’re not feeling great. Been having some very bizarre dreams myself, scaring myself silly and then daren’t go back to sleep, thank goodness for my kindle at 4 a.m.!!! Like you say not rocket science as to why we are having these dreams. Sending you some mahoosive cyber hugs, Simone xxx
Hi Magda
It’s understandable that you’ll have really tough days, it’s absolutely normal.
If you feel it might help to talk, do give the Helpline a call, they’re great listeners and can signpost you to other sources of help and support too.
They’re open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 Saturday. 0808 800 6000.
Best wishes.
Louise
Facilitator
Hi Magda
Sorry your having a rough day today, moan away hun (((hugs)))
What will happen about the missed radio?
Hope you manage to get some proper sleep and chase the silly nightmares away xx
Sorry you are feling so down 
It can be really difficult to keep going in the face of such a difficult diagnosis/ prognosis, I know. Secondary cancer is scary and horrible and I think we all have to fight the dark thoughts, But some times it is easier then others…
Have you contacted the hospital about the missed rads? Maybe your team can help with the cough- things are difficult enough without a sleepless night.
I find keeping busy/ getting out and about always helps when Im feeling really low. Distraction and acting ‘normal’ seems to be the best way for me but everyone is different I guess.
Sending you big hugs
Tina xx
Aw Magda,
Horrible stuff when it gets you so low. You’re not a machine and it’s totally understandable, never feel bad about moaning. It’s tough enough but not being able to express worries and fears only makes things worse!
I hope you get a bit of support. Like Gingerbread says, keeping busy is great. I’ve had a tricky week, but when I rationalised it a five week month ( I know I’m lucky I am in receipt of sick pay) and can’t put petrol in the car or do anything fun or diverting until payday. Said I’d start painting but didn’t get my act together.
If that isn’t poss is there anywhere you can go to for a bit of support? Our Maggies is wonderful.
Sending hugs. Carolyn xx
Sorry no advice just wanted to send you best wishes, hugs and love. Hoping you get a better night tonight
Thank you for all your helps girls. What a downer! But what a difference 24 hrs and a decent nights sleep makes? I get so low and even scare myself sometimes. Now all I have to do is deal with the wrath of the radiotherapy uni on mon t …s**t!!
Glad you got some decent sleep - and don’t worry about the radiotherapy, they’ll just add it on the end and they’ll understand why you couldn’t face it. If you get an arsy receptionist, just tell him/her you’ll discuss it with someone who’s medically trained to comment on it. I did five weeks of brain radiotherapy and I felt like giving it a miss loads of times!
Well got my note from my mummy hope it works 
Hi Ladies,
Some of you might know me my mum has secondary cancer of the liver and rib bones. I work full time and my dad looks after her and I go to her treatment days with her every three weeks when I can.
I’ve hit rock bottom, i spent a lovely week with my mum and dad away in Lanzarote and she was poorly for a few days but so nice to spend time with her and my dad, now I’m back to normal living with my fiancé and dog but can’t stop crying and everywhere I look like in magazines, television etc there’s cancer mentioned.
My dad keeps saying keep positive mum worries when I’m not positive and I’ve done so well up to now but just crying all the time and not sleeping. I’ve had to take few days out from work because I’m feeling fragile and it’s not even me having to go through this horrible disease.
I’m sorry to go on just needed an outsider opinion!!
Love to you all
Jenna
Jenna,
It’s hard anyway, but somehow that bit worse when you think you will have a break and relax with a nice magazine-and there it is again tadaaa CANCER!!!
Partly I wonder if you are crying just now because you are away from your Mum and don’t have to hide it from her, partly I know you are crying because you mind so much, but also perhaps it’s time to get some support for you, so you can carry on supporting your Mum and Dad-and your fiancé?
Whatever none of these posts on this thread come into the category of feeling sorry for yourself
Hugs all round
Lavender
xx
Hi Jenna hope you’re feeling a little better? Sometimes just writing it down helps. Maybe you could consider talking to someone the macmillian centres offer support to family as well.
I know it’s so hard for you I have a daughter myself that finds the whole thing traumatic and does her best to stay positive around me but I know she is frightened it’s only natural.
Sending you hugs and take care of yourself.
Oh by the way the Monday clinic went really well. The rads team were incredibly supportive and understood completely just told me no to do it again:) lol.