I’m due to start my chemo on 22nd March and because they didn’t get clear margins on my WLE I will then need to have a mastectomy. My partner and my mum are both being very supportive but the friends and colleagues who I thought would be there are all busy with their own lives and the daily text messages have stopped. I have few visitors during the week as people are working so I am finding my days long and boring. I am back driving but only short distances as have some cording under my left arm which is restricting. Is it normal to feel so alone?? I’m not one for therapy groups and talking to strangers face to face but should I give one a go? Anyone else feeling like this? Helen x
Hi Helen x
its perfectly normal I think to feel this way so dont worry its not just you.
It does get easier and you have to find ways to entertain yourself I have watched every catherine cookson, all 4 series of hart of dixie and countless rubbish made for TV movies to fill my days and once you start chemo you sort of feel better about stuff and getting out on your good days.
I have friends I considered good friends who ran for the hills in September and I now have colleagues who have become actual friends.
I didnt join any therapy groups as its not really mebut you could always pop along to one and see how it goes, my hospital has painting groups and knitting ones.
what I did do was tell few friends how alone I was feeling they then made the effort to keep in touch more I also realised that people will answer if you get in touch and although its easy to think I’m ill surely they should get in touch as you say busy lives get in the way . I have kept in touch via email with lots of people from work most days by the time I have responded to everyone who has emailed that day I feel like ive done a full day at work!. I made the initial contact via a colleague and said forward to anyone who wants to get in touch, I made it lighthearted aaid hello , sent a picture of our dog looking stupid and I now get emails of people kids, dogs, what they had for tea etc along with people asking can they pop rouns for a brew, do I need anything from the shops its an easy 5 minute thing for them to do and easy for me to reply even on a rubbish day. Some of the emails have petered out but I still send them a hello every couple of weeks if I think they are people who are worth it.
My first few weeks were the worst then you kind of get into chemo and the appointments etc.
Many ladies take up hobbies like baking or knitting I just went for trashy films. And as you say once you can drive again things will get easier as you can take yourself off somewhere for a relaxing walk
It does get easier dont feel alone there is always someome around on here x
Jen x
Hiya Helen I don’t normally dip into to this thread as I’m not having chemo at the moment but as im here will send u a hug .
Like the advert says cancer is the loneliest place and friends tend to think …she’s having the treatment …Will b fine again. Like having measles or flu !!
Take a day at a time …have something to focus on each day and the chemo and op time will soon pass by.
Hugs Carolyn xx
Hi Helen1971
I found the waiting time between surgery & starting chemo very hard. As a teacher, I have now been away from school for more than half a term. At first, I wanted no contact with colleagues but have now started to reach out a bit. I took advantage of counselling offered at my local Macmillan centre and have found it very helpful (first time ever counselling and I am a 58 year old science teacher - not a “typical” user but these are not typical times). I also signed up for relaxation exercises and aromatherapy. There was a bit of a wait, but again, worth it. It was a relief to see other people who “had cancer” and who had “come through” treatment. I also set up a page on: www. caringbridge.org/
“A CaringBridge website is a personal health journal, rallying friends and family during any type of health journey. Start a free CaringBridge website today.”
I have a sister in the US and this allows her to keep up to date without worrying about time zones. I have put photos and short journal style entries when I have treatment - it allows friends and family to see what is going on without the worry of disturbing me with a phone call. I also get a lift when I check in and see how many visits the page has had. People can just look, or leave a message of support.
Be assured that you are not on your own - there is help from the forum, your specialist nurse as well as family, friends and colleagues.
Take care, Mary