Feeling very low

Been for my results today and the news was not good, clearance was good on 3 sides, cancer was a grade 2, oestrogen receptive, something about 3.444 and being 42 yrs old means I will have to have chemotherapy and then further surgery shaving is how they describe it then I will have to have five weeks radiotherapy, the chemo is one thing I did not want to hear, the thoughts of losing my long hair is more than I can cope with at the moment.

For the first time I am not feeling good and don’t want to talk to anyone, I know that this feeling will pass but I am so upset that I have cried for the first time since I was told that I had cancer. The breast nurse mentioned the cold cap which I will try as anything I can do to save my hair has to be worth it.

Sorry to sound so negative at the moment but I am feeling a little low at the moment.

Debra

Sorry to hear you are so upset. I too am at the same stage as you, grade 2, oestrogen receptive, no further surgery but in one lymph node. I go to see the oncologist on Saturday to find out about treatment regime, expecting chemo because of the spread but really not wanting to go there. You are entitled to feel a little low on occassions, I know I have, but you will come through these feelings and start to feel more positive. As my lot would say, ‘Chin up’. I will let you know my news on Saturday and then we can travel the road together. Best wishes, Di.

HI Debra,
Sorry to hear your results was not too good and that you are feeling low right now,it realy is a rollercoaster isnt it, i was DX last july 2.3cm tumour ,no nodes involved but grade 3 (aggressive) i too was upset that i would have to have chemo as i was told pre op (had WLE) that i would just have rads and Tomoxifin, i have just finished chemo about 10 days ago and it realy is do-able as all the ladies on here will tell you . It can be tough sometimes but you will have more good days than bad. I too didnt want to lose my hair but it started to come out in chunks about 14 days after 1st chemo cycle so decided to have the rest shaved off , i cried while haveing it done but after it was gone i felt much better and soon adapted to it.I was offered the cold cap too but they told me there was only a 10% chance of keeping my hair and some people find it not tolerable ,it also meant an extra hour and a half at the chemo unit,so i decided not to have it in the end. There are some ladies on here who have tried it though and hopefully some of them will be able to tell you if it worked for them. I know how your feeling right now we all do, but i know youll get lots of advice and support on here from everyone ,we all know what is other is going through so it realy does help to chat with everyone. Sometimes haveing a good cry lets it all out and makes you feel a bit better .Dont apoligise for sounding negative we all have times like that but once your treatments start you will begin to feel more positive and in control.I was told that by having the chemo it was getting to every part of the body so if there are any cancer cells left hideing anywhere which they cant test for the chemo would destroy them. If you do suffer any side effects with chemo there are plenty of meds that your medical team will give you to help combat them .Im about to start Rads soon for four and a half weeks and my hair is growing back already( ive got a full covering now ),so can definately see that light at the end of the tunnel.Time does go quickly ,youll be fine, realy, if i can do it anyone can .Please let us know how you get on.
Hope this helps a bit
All the Best
Lots of Hugs
Lindiloo x

Hi Debra,
Sorry you’re feeling so low at the moment. It is a shock to find that you’ll need chemo but I promise you that although it’s not pleasant is IS doable and if it’ll increase your disease free chances then it has to be worthwhile.
I didn’t bother with the cold cap as it’s success is limited and it can be uncomfortable, I just resigned myself to losing my hair, which had always meant so much to me, and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I feared. It has now grown back much darker, thicker and curlier than before and I much prefer it to my ‘old’ hair.
Give yourself time.
Take care
Claire x

Hi Debra

I know when you’re feeling down, it is hard to get positive outlook.
Just remember the hair thing is temporary, mine is all gone now, on 2nd of 6 chemo… to be honest my wig is better than my own hair was…

I hope you feel better soon.

Ax

Hello Debra
Sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. I understand how you feel. One of the few times that I have cried during all this horrible business was when my hair fell out.

But yours may not fall out. There are some women in the chemo unit where I go who have used the cold cap and have kept nearly all their hair. Get prepared, with some nice scarves and hats and a wig just in case, and remember even if it does fall out, your hair will come back.

I hope you start to feel better soon.
Anthi x

Hi Ladies

Thanks for all the nice words, feeling much better today and the mist is clearing as they say, just about got my head round what I am about to embark on.
I have just booked myself into the hairdressers for Monday to have my long hair cut short so if I do lose it it wont be so much of a shock, I plan on trying the cold cap has to be worth a go, have to say it sounds like the cap I use for my migraines but much colder.

My eldest son said much better to lose you hair Mum than for me to lose my Mum have to admit that brought a tear to my eye and of course he is so right he needs his mum to be around for many more years to come.

Langardi not to sure when I will start my chemo there is a waiting list apparently they said it will be around the end of February let me know how your visit goes and when you start your treatment.

Debra

Hi Debra, Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I remember it well, I am due to have my last chemo tommorow and like you at the start I was in complete shock.but something kicked in and once I had my treatment plan and had the first chemo it went alot easier, honestly. Just give yourself time to adjust and do whatever you need to that helps. The hair loss is awful but believe me you do get used to it, I was the vainest person ever as regards my hair, but I coped with it and Im sure you will too. Be kind to yourself and dont ever feel you are alone in this, we are all here for you, you can cry,laugh,rant and rave here and there is always someone to listen. we have all been there and we will be there for you. Your eldest son sounds lovely, and what a lovely thing to say to you, and he is so right. There is a great list of Top tips for chemo, which I found really helpful at the start I will move it up for you, I got everything on the list and had a use for it all throughout my treatment. Its in Undergoing Chemotheraphy. I hope this has helped a little Debra and I wish you well with your treatment Keep in touch.

Love and hugs
Jillx.

hi debra, i’m on my third chemo now hair has gone got the shaver out in the end, my eldest son made comments much the same as yours, he also insists on bringing his friends round to show off his totally cool mum ! I dont wear a wig ,occasionally a hat to keep the head warm, it can get very cold! What people think of me doesnt matter what matters is me,and the people who love me ! Stay possitive take each day as it comes. I try to think of the children that are on chemo when i feel bad , i’ve reached 40 seen alife, but they are brave and strong and have seen nothing of life ! jay x

Hi Debra
Please don’t despair. I’m just about to have my 2nd FEC this week and time seems to be flying by, it doesn’t seem long since the first one. Like Lindiloo, my hair started falling out on the 14th day and by the 17th day I shaved it off, mainly for 2 reasons. My head got so sore I couldn’t bear to wash it and I was keeping it covered with a scarf anyway because I was shedding over everything. So OH did the deed for me, There were no tears on my part (but OH felt a bit traumatised) and I found myself singing in the shower afterward & i can’t remember the last time i did that! My daughter said i looked awesome ( I’m 52 & definately no sinead o’conner) although the dog growled & barked at me till he realised who I was!
I’ve got a great wig that is the same style as my own hair although I actually prefer to go commando whenever I can (trouble is its a bit cold for that at the moment).

The chemo is do-able, just prepare yourself for a few days in bed afterward with plenty of water and ginger biscuits to help the nausea. I wore travel bands as well just for added insurance cos I’ve got a phobia about being sick. And I wasn’t.

So shave it off - be proud to be a chemo baldy & I hope it won’t be too hard for you
Big cyber hug
Thelmaxx

Hi to everyone

Feeling a lot better today and getting my head round it all now and of course reading this site for info, I have to say is very addictive everyone is so nice.

Have been to the hairdressers today and had my hair cut short the hairdresser was so nice and we chatted about my treatment, her friend had been through breast cancer so could understand why I was having it cut short, she also said that when the time comes to have my hair shaved she will do it during her lunch when they close so that I will not have anyone looking at me which was so nice, have to say that my hair looks strange but I have had long hair for 11 yrs now so will take some getting used to.

I have resigned myself to the fact that my hair will go and who knows bold maybe in this year I’m 42 and defiantly no sinead o’conner now she did look good.

Di my son is 22 finished uni and has a great job he is living at home which is nice to have him around again as he has been away for 4 yrs, I have another who is 18 and still at college, response from 18 yr old on hair cut was looks cool mum now can I shave my head before you do.

I have my oncology appointment on Tuesday so not having to wait like they said oh how fast things go but guess that’s good will let you know when I am going to start my treatment.

From all your comments is sounds like the chemo is not as bad as I had feared and I am sure that I will get through it thanks for the helpful hints will get some travel bands and ginger biscuits don’t like being sick so anything that helps has to be worth it.

Big cyber hugs to you all and big thanks for everything

Debra xxx