Feeling very scared....

Feeling very scared…

Feeling very scared… I don’t post on here very often now. I used to post quite a lot when I was first diagnosed. I was diagnosed with liver mets 18 months ago.
I’ve been feeling really well and have been enjoying my life, until a few weeks ago my left breast become tender ( had mastectomy on right side).
I reported this to my onc 4 weeks ago, he had a ‘feel’ and said he could feel nothing, but because I’ve been having a good response to Capcitabine and Herceptine he doubted it was cancer related. He did mention if it was cancer related that I would not have surgery.
My breast was still sore so I visited my GP last week, the GP referred me to a Breast Surgeon???!!! whom I’m seeing this afternoon.
My hip started hurting yesterday and I’ve convinced myself that it’s the cancer spreading.
I’m really scared and have had a good cry this morning,worrying my husband. He’s had to get the kids ready for school as I was too upset. (I’ve sent him to work now!).
I need someone to tell me I’m okay! But obviously can’t do that. I have a CT scan booked for June and hope that they’ll give me an ultrasound today. I’m not due to see my onc for two weeks, so what do I do now?

Wendy x

Hi there Wendy
What a bad time for you - I wish that I could put your mind at rest. However I really think that you should contact your specialist again and say that you are really up tight and need to know what is going on - or do you have a Macmillen nurse that you could phone. If you are seeing the surgeon this afternoon you must get him to explain things to you. Or at least send you for a mamo to see whats going on.
Its your body and at the moment you need help. It may be nothing but the longer you are in the dark the worse it gets - and we are all the same when we have mets - scared stiff of the future. If its any help I have had BC and liver mets for 5 yrs now and my life has been good up to now.
Do keep in touch and let us know how you get on this afternoon.
I will be thinking of you
Luv jANE

Wendy
Sorry to hear what is happening to you. The worry of the unknown is reallt scary. I don’t think I can say more than Jane has.
Really push for that scan/mamo this afternoon and speak to the oncs secretary and ask for an earlier appointment. 2 weeks seems a long time to wait to see the onc again and the CT in June seems too far away as well. My onc secretary is always very good at getting messages through to the consultants and so if I need to see someone they will always fit me and other women in our positions in the next clinic.
I know it’s hard to push for things to be brought forward when you are feeling low but you do need to do this. Maybe ask for a bone scan if your hip hurts as well.
It’s horrible waiting for results and living with the unknown always seems harder to me than knowing what is happening. That is not to say I cry for hours after getting news of spread etc but at least I then know what the plan is and I find it easier to cope.
Please let us know how you get on this afternoon. Will be thinking of you
Kate

Thankyou for your support. I’m usually so positive, but some days it really gets you down.

Wendy x

Hi Wendy (were you ‘‘Widget’’ on the old forums?)…hope you had a good appointment this afternoon. Waiting is just too stressful, I hope you were able to get the scan moved.
xx

Hi Wendy I am sorry to hear your news and hope it is nothing serious. As you (and all of us) know, the waiting for results is one of the worst parts of the nightmare.

I hope you and your family are well otherwise. I remember you two years back on the old board, when I was diagnosed with liver mets too and have always been pleased to read how well you have been doing.

Take care,

Jenny
xx

I hope your ultrasound went well today. Can you get your CT brought forward, anything to bring down that awful waiting for answers?

Hope you get some answers soon, take care.

Love Twinkle xoxo

I’m feeling a lot better. Saw breast surgeon and had mammogram, surgeon couldn’t find anything and nothing on mammo. So feeling a lot more positive again! I think I was just having a bad few days and thinking the worst about everything.
Thankyou to all of you who have replied, sometimes you just need to hear from someone who really understands how you feel.

Wendy (Widget) XXXX