Finding it Tough

Hi everyone. I haven’t been on here for a while, Mum has been doing really well and I’ve been getting stuck into work so have had very little time, however, my Mum has suddenly become really poorly and I’m finding it really tough. I just need to get it off my chest.

My Mum (as some of you know) was first dx back in 2005 and again with secondaries in brain, lung and bone in November last year. She had intensive rads on her brain at Christmas and began chemo after Christmas. She was on Taxol and Avastin for her first 5 sessionsand had hardly any side effects but then her onc decided to change her treatment to 5-FU and Vinorelbine. SInce this she has been suffering from severe sickness, to the point now she can’t even keep water down or her anti sickness tablets (she’s tried several). This has been going on for 6 days now and she is so weak and frail and looks like a ghost. It upsets me so much to see her like this. For the first time since she was diagnosed it has really hit me how poorly she is. I have the problem that I have a phobia of people being sick so I find it very hard to be with her and comfort her when she is being sick (which is a lot of the time) and I feel so bad about it.

Today was my Birthday and I went out for lunch with my friends. My Mum and Dad were meant to come with us but Mum was too ill. She was almost too weak to wish me happy Birthday. It should have been a fun and happy occasion but I spent the whole of my lunch fighting not to burst in to tears.

Tomorrow we are taking her to the hospital as I think she really needs some help. Maybe on an anti-sickness drip or something. I just hope they can help her. She can’t go through this every time she has her treatment.

I feel so helpless and can’t bare to see her get worse. I always thought I was a strong person but now I’m not so sure.

Sorry for ranting but I just needed to get it off my chest.

SunnyBear Xx

Sunnybear

So sorry to hear how bad your Mum is feeling, I do hope you can get her some medication that helps her nausea. I have had nausea on and off and it is really debilitating.

Sounds like you are taking good care of your Mum, I am sure your support is helping her.

Lottie

Hi Sunnybear,

I’m sorry to hear your mum is suffering so much with sickness, and hope that the hospital can find her something to stop this.

I just want to say, if you need someone to talk to in confidence about how you are feeling and how this is affecting you then please do phone the helpline, the staff are here to support family and friends as well as those diagnosed with BC. Lines open again today at 9 until 5pm (Mon-Fri) and Sat 9 - 2. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000.

Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

Hi Sunnybear

I’m really sorry to hear that your mum is suffering so much with nausea. My mum had the same problem a lot of the time and the only thing that ever worked for her was a drug called Nozinan (also called levomepromazine). It usually worked to ‘break the cycle’ of nausea if it was given IV - the district nurse used to come out to her and set up a syringe driver for 24 hours. That usually settled it and she could then take it orally. I know everyone is different but I think this drug is used less commonly than some of the others and if nothing else has worked it might be worth asking. It can also be taken along with other anti sickness medication.

I hope things improve for you all soon.

Very best wishes

Lynn x

Hi Sunnybear,

Reading your post, made me realise how alike we are…

Like yourself i have struggled watching the person that brought me into the world, fight back the pain, sickness, hair loss and other side affects…i’m sure you dont need me to list them all…

All along you feel your not strong enough to deal, when if you stop and just think for a second, you are dealing with the situation because your still there for your mum, as much as it breaks your heart seeing her like that, you manage to cope somehow.

Believe me certain people from my family couldnt cope with Mum’s illness and walked away from her when she needed them the most. The same people came to the hospital the day we was told she didnt have long left, and i suppose wanted forgiveness from her.

You can ask anyone that knows me, i’m one of the most emotional people you could ever meet, and i let my tears flow when i wasnt with my mum.

I wont lie to you, it’s not going to be easy, but it does help that you are close to your mum and involved with appointments etc, you will find some peace being close to your mum.

Your mum knows deep down you are supporting her, and that you love her.

i didnt think my mum knew, or cared, because she became quite negative in her last weeks, but the week before she passed away she thanked me for everything i had done and told me she loved me.

I will pop on and off here to keep an eye out for you, and hope dearly your mum starts to pick up.

Sending all my love and hope for your mum

Kerry xx

Hi Sunnybear

Sickness was a constant problem for my mum, i think it was caused by a combination of a toxin build up because the organs were not working to full capacity and/or side effects to the drugs. I would fight for more advice on reducing the sickness. It was mums hospice staff that got it under control so that she started to eat and drink again. It was administered in a syrnge (Spelling?) driver at first and then changed to tablets once settled. It never went away completely but got alot better.

LouiseX