Hello rosieposie and welcome. As you can see we are all getting there slowly and sharing how we are feeling and it sure helping me. Come back in for coffee as kettle is always on.
Helena thank you for your kind words as always. Thing we need you big knickers some days so we can all hang out in them!!
Take care
Hope you don’t mind me having a bit of a weepy post but I am feeling very down today and don’t know how to cope with it. Husband has gone out with grandson and I’m sitting here crying again. I had a terrible night last night blasted Letrozole giving me insomnia sweats and terrible stomach ache followed by frequent trips to the toilet. I can’t believe that 5 months ago I was fine getting on with life and oblivious as to what was to come I feel like a cartoon character today you know the one that is walking around with the **bleep** thunder cloud hanging over their head. It just feels so unreal and I’m not sure how much more I can take. I want to be me again not this knackered wreck that seems to be in the mirror every morning I tried to explain to my husband that I feel something is missing but he doesn’t understand I think he feels that I should pull myself together but it’s so hard today and I just feel empty and exhausted. I know it will get better but today is just a bad day and I really needed to get this off my chest before I crack up completely.
Sorry to hear this mcnulcc,
I know what you mean - we have lost the days of just getting up and getting on with things as we used to. Our new ‘normal’ is still very odd, where we question every twinge or ache or upset - like you, I have had the odd tummy upset, and I couldn’t work out if it’s letrozole, or delayed radiotherapy side effects.
Men are nearly always ‘practical’ about OUR health, but oh boy, when it’s their turn, nobody ever suffered like they do - my old man almost seems to turn it into a competition? If I say this or that is troubling me, I then get treated to a resume of all his aches and pains - and to be honest, it’s MY TURN NOW !!!
Let it out, do something nice for yourself ( in my case usually stuffing my chops with something bad for me ), and tomorrow will be another day, and hopefully a brighter one. . . .we have a lovely autumn day down here in London. Wish you the best.
Paulus. Thank you for understanding I think I have been quite upbeat most of the time but today I am just really miserable and feeling sorry for myself. To be honest with you I have always been the rock of this family and its so hard to be dealing with all this personal c##p. I’m never really ill and when I am like most of us I just get on with it but this has just knocked me off my feet. I do feel a bit better for putting how I feel into words and knowing that no one will judge me for how I am feeling is a great help. Unfortunately stuffing my face or a glass of wine is not an option at the moment as I really do feel sick today. Again like you not sure if it’s just exhaustion,the Letrozole or perhaps the Rads that are making me feel like this. Going to have a long soak in the bath later and an early night. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks Chris xx
Mcnulcc Chris…so sorry you are feeling this way but perfectly understandable. You are emotionally drained and everything gets on top of you. I am the same some days i wonder who is looking back at me in the mirror.
But when i feel really down i just think back to my test results appoint at royal, and the lady in front of me had results where the was nothing they could do. So remembering her kinda jolts me back into i got a second chance mode.
But that said if ur letrozole is giving you these really back side effects you need to change course with medication.
My heart breaks for you when yoy say something is missing, because i feel it too. Will i ever ne same again i ask myself.
The long and short of it is yes we will…but it doesnt happen overnite it will take time day by day.
The worst i think is the insomnia when ur lay awake over thinking everything getting it all outta context and then ur mind tries to rationalize it…thats a tough one. Maybe ur gp would give u short course of sleeping tabs to help you through i would certainly ask Chris.
I think when ur alone in the house its worse its like all ur thoughts and fears are crushing you…and that my lovely is exactly what it is fear…fear and anxiety. And sometimes it overwhelms us with the what ifs. If i feel like that i do something i need to focus on that takes my mind away from my thoughts.
Its certainly not helping you when ur feeling poorly too meds and rads no wonder.
So dry them tears and get the fears into another room in ur head. Once you start feeling bit better med wise you will start to calm ur mind.
Why dont you ring up and bring onco appoint nearer so yoy can get letrozole reviewed dont suffer chris get it changed if not suiting you.
Big hugs lovely just go with the flow today and rest…and dont forget text if ur having rough day …dont forget im travelling the same road as you so here to help xxxxxxx
Hi Chris. Sending hugs to you. Know exactly what you are saying and I am identical to you. Rock of the family and just get in with stuff and cope. I have the competition on illness with my hubby. Never complete the conversation of how I feel before we are discussing his aches and pains. Just a man thing I think. Crying is not a bad thing you know it’s a release. I am anastrozole and doing ok with it. I don’t get insomnia but I don’t go straight to sleep like I used to and it’s at this point when I feel I can’t take any more. But we can and we will because we will get better. I am so glad I started this thread as we are all helping each other in so many ways. We will get there ladies. X take care
Lucaboo Sue your so right have got a second chance think I’m just really tired and fed up with the tablets mind working overtime thinking is this what the next five years is going to be like. Plus we should have been going away today but cancelled as the holiday was going to be two weeks full on and I know now there was no way I would have been able to go and enjoy it. Going to London for a few days next month so need to get my head sorted and start looking forward to that. Thanks for your support and reassurance means a lot xx
Ahh no wonder its sent u feeling down if u cancelled ur holiday. But my lovely Chris there will be more to come! I sometimes think well im 60 so ive prob got 15 or 20 years left fro natural old age related stuff without the cancer so stuff the cancer im not gonna spend my time worring about it cos what will be will be. And whatever comes our way we can deal with it together. I bet u were say in same waiting room as me at hozzy and we didnt even know!. So u shake urself down lady dust urself off and when u feel a bit less sickly , give urself a pat on the back on how far you come. You should be proud chris when u look what uve come through and come out the other end. But rest assured each time we all have a wobble over are yearly mammogram results and we will all of us…well if you need ill be sat there with you just ring… Just remember were lucky than most we get a 3d mamm at royal every 12mths so that will check everything at very early stages. So pour urself a little tot of brandy good for you and say xxx#%@& to cancer were here to stay. And im her for you and anyone else every step love and hugs lovely hope sickly feeling subsides xxxxxx
After Eight Mints??? Good on ya girl ???
Bleeding heck, for a bunch of strangers we are all the same with our ups and downs. But it gives me strength to know that what Im feeling is “normal” in the most un-normal situation to find myself in.
Deep breaths my lovelies and best foot forward xxxx
???
Thanks for your messages hot bath and ginger tea tonight… In the words of Scarlet OHara tomorrow is another day…,. Xx
.
Get hubby to play Rett think that was his name…should make u smile lol…stay strong lovely and text later uf ur still nit feeling better dont suffer alone xxx
What a lovely thread this is? Thank you for your kind welcome and reassuring words, Helena, Gill and Lucaboo!
Sorry you are having a sad day Mcnulcc! I think the others have said it all but I’m sending some hugs to you too. No wonder you feel like this if you were supposed to be going on holiday today. There will be others and you’ll have a wonderful time when you go. My plans for a visit to celebrate my big birthday didn’t happen and I felt cheated.? However there will be another time!!
Glad to hear the coffee is always on, so I’ll bring the pastries!! I too am 60 and often think that we must make the most of our time and enjoy life. Now where are the chocolates…?
Love to you all
Rosie xxx
Ha Rosie it is a lovely thread…im sending u some after eight mints. God ive been a pig today with chocolates but needs must…hope you all have a peaceful night. And dont forget live in the moment …not the past…its gone…the future nobody knows…but the present time is where we are at…day by day my lovelies one step at a time…xxx
Lucaboo,
I also wore the M&S post surgery bras, as they are non-wired, supportive, and actually they are the most comfortable and flattering bra I have worn! Took awhile in and out of the changing room at M&S to find the right size, but I am wearing them still - surgery was in May - I alternate, wash and wear, they dry very quickly. They are maybe a bit more pricey than some other stores, but VAT-free, and have paid for themselves over this last 4 months. I used to just wear an underwire £6 Sainsburys lacy type bra, and only now do I realise how unflattering they were to a woman of 63, lol !!!
Hello ladies
Thank you for those After Eights, Lucaboo they were delish - a little (or a lot) of what you fancy does you good!!!
Re bras, I wore, and am still wearing, crop top style ones - I’m fairly small and these were recommended by my oncologist as the most comfortable. No M&S over here unfortunately. ? However I have also done the same as Helena and taken the underwire out of my bras…seems to work quite well and is much more comfortable. Need to take them off as soon as get home though. I am 12 weeks on from rads and still find I have an itchy boob at times.
Hope everyone if feeling ok today.
Love Rosie xx
My mission over the weekend is to take the wire out of my bras. They are too lovely to get rid of, so wire removal it is.
I didn’t wear a bra at all during rad trips and during the day i wore crop tops and tightfitting vests from Primark. At the mo Im tending to wear sport type ones but will get back to my lovely ones after the weekend.
The scar from my SNB is a little sore at the mo so where the cup lays will have to be a considerable fact when the fancy bras come back out!!
???
Evening ladies. Glad to report feeling a bit better today. Went out for lunch with my sisters who always make me laugh. Was nice to go out and talk about total rubbish moan about husbands and kids and just be normal. Indulging husband tommorow by going on a six hour cruise up the Manchester ship canal. We should have been in St Petersburg today and tomorrow but I suppose Salford Quay and Manchester will have to do for now. Ha ha. Have a good weekend everyone whatever you are doing xxx
Mcnulcc Chris…so glad ur feeling brighter today. Hope you have lovely day with hubby tomorrow big hugs xxxx
Who wouldn’t want to be in Manchester/Salford instead of St Petersburg!!! Chris, Russia will always let you in so you’ll get there in the end. Xx
Met a friend for dinner last night and it was just what I needed. We talked nonstop for over 3 hours.
Her best friend is about to start rads (for goodness sake, feels like every other person you meet has a loved one going through it!!) so I passed on my handy hints. Glad to be of service!!
So apart from de-wireing the bras I’m also on a mission this weekend to find a rubber brush as my cat is leaving a huge amount of fur everywhere and its the best things I can think of to stop my vacuum getting bunged up.
Such a rock and roll lifestyle I have…
?
Hi lucaboo and all you lovelies. How are we all doing? Lucaboo you will start to see and feel changes over the next week. Give your rads team a ring and check out with them. It might not need the trip to see them but they will advise what to do. My nipple and surrounding area is like a halo and looks like it is going to stay that way but it’s all good and healed well. I am. 11 weeks post rads and still getting discomfort especially on my snb scar other than that it’s good. Bit of advice, don’t run ?♂️. I ran across a car park the other day as it was throwing it down with rain. Ouch lol flippin heck it hurt. So had to run the rest of the way holding my boob! Not a pretty sight. It soon settled but boy it let me know it is still healing inside there. So yes it’s all going to take time I suppose and don’t run before we can walk. Have a great day all and hope everything is all settling down and the emotions are easing. X