Hi, I came across this site last week and have been watching from a far up until today.
My wife had a thickening that she could feel under her left breast. She went to the breast clinic last Wednesday and had a mammogram, a 3d mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. After this she went to see the specialist nurse again who informed us that this was highly suspicious and that the scan revealed 3 enlarged armpit lymph nodes. She also said that area was 7cm and that she would need treatment. It came as a total shock to both of us to say the least. We have an appointment for 2 weeks time with the consultant but I am beside myself with worry with the information we have received already. I finding it very hard to concentrate on the positives at the moment but I keep that to myself. I am glad I came across this forum but this is going to be a long 2 weeks. Thanks for your time and take care everyone
So very sorry to hear of your wife’s diagnosis . The hardest part of all it for many of us as patients is often waiting for a confirmed diagnosis and then waiting for the treatment plan .Make sure to get some support for yourself if you can perhaps from MacMillan because although it might help your wife if you keep your emotions in check when you’re together you may need to spill over to someone for your own wellbeing . If it helps you to keep posting on here then that’s good as well.
If you go to the categories section there’s one entitled friends and family . If you click on that there’s a sub section entitled supporting someone with breast cancer - there may be helpful something helpful on there if not now then perhaps in the future . Many people on here have struggled through their diagnosis and treatment with families / friends / partners who have been unhelpful in some way ( this happened to my friend with her now ex- husband ). My partner was ok after the first couple of weeks but was initially in denial but struggling underneath so I was worried about him . Just be there for her because that’s what she needs and although you may be feeling helpless it sounds like you are doing everything you can.
I also had trouble with the feeling positive thing - if you find that you are reacting with anger towards certain phrases etc. I found that after a while I could anticipate what people were going to say and got in first and said something totally banal like it’s ok I’m fine / I’m lucky / well it’s not going to kill me it will just be a bloody nuisance / pain in the arse depending on who I was talking to . Maybe you and your wife can think of some responses together .
Sending love to you both xx
Hi Joanne
Thanks so much for your reply and advice. It’s still all raw and probably in shock, but once we have the results and a plan we can both focus on that with positivity.
Take care
Dear @techy I have just been reading some posts from women who have parents who wish they could take the burden of cancer from their grown children. It is often overlooked how difficult a BC diagnosis is for those who support and care, like those parents and like you. Can I suggest to you to give the Breast Cancer Now nurses a call on 0800 808 6000 between 9.00-16.00 M-F and 9.00-13.00 on Saturdays. They are very experienced women and won’t rush you and will be able to give you some direction on finding support for both you and your wife as you go through treatment. You’ll feel better for having spoken to them.
It is absolutely universally acknowledged across our community that waiting for test and biopsy results is the worst part. Two weeks right now seems like an age but it will pass and once you have confirmation and a treatment plan you (plural) will be able to organise yourselves accordingly and also know that you are taking positive steps to get this thing gone. I know a cancer diagnosis of any kind is frightening but statistically your wife has a better chance of getting through this and out the other side than not. For reference, I was diagnosed three years ago, aged 66, and have been classified as NED (no evidence of disease) since the end of active treatment two and a half years ago. I wish the same for your wife.
Hi @Tigress, thank you for taking the time to reply to my message, and I hope you continue to keep well.
The helpline you have directed me to sounds like something I could use. It has been a rollercoaster 5 days for both myself and my wife with a degree of both positive and negative thoughts. Although we are both healthcare professionals, it is different when it comes to your own doorstep. We both havehad a few days off work last week just take in this news and process what it means going forward. I am going back to work this week to keep as near normality as possible, and to keep my mind away from what has just happened (as far as I can). It is not until something like this happens to yourself that you realise how fragile we all are. Take care .