For Sharon (Forjan)
For Sharon (Forjan) Hi Sharon
How was the holiday in centre parks? Rome was really good but I was knackered, we did so much walking!
Did christmas go ok for you? I was at my dads and my mums sister came over to stay. I was dreading it as my mum was really christmasy but it wasnt as bad as I thought. I think that it is the anticipation that is worse rather than the actual day. I felt that my mum was near me throughout the day making sure that I got through it, I am really glad that it is over now though!
Love Joanne x x x
Hi Joanne
Glad you enjoyed Rome and that Christmas was ok. Centerparcs was great but ended up with chest infection over christmas - on antibiotics so no drink ! Not feeling too bad now. Yes I am glad Christmas is over - was ok but it just felt wrong - I assume the first christmas is the worse ?
The worse thing is the cards that my dad got from friends that my mum didnt keep in touch with other than Christmas cards who we didnt realise existed and therefore dont know my mum died. Even a long lost school friend who lives in Australia sent one this year! I will have to look for an old address book and see if I can track these people down.
On a different note did you see GMTV this am which had a feature about how even moderate excercise can prevent breast cancer(they were trying to say that housework is beneficial to us) It made me a bit cross actually as my mum was as active as could be(she put me to shame) and it didnt stop her from getting it(she didnt drink and wasnt overweight ) when they do features like that it always seems to feel like they are saying that anyone who gets cancer somehow brought it on themselves.
Anyway take care - are you doing any thing special for new year ?
Happy New Year
Love
Sharonxxxxx
Hiya
Sorry to hear you have been feeling poorly, glad you are picking up.
I agree, I think the first christmas has to be the worst. I am spending new year round my dads with my husband. I cant bring myself to go out and be all happy that its a new year, as its the first new year without mum. I have a feeling that I am going to find it harder than christmas.
We had the exact same situation with a christmas card, it was from one of my nannas friends (my mums mum). My nanna passed away 5 years ago but mum still recieves this card. So it was addressed to my mum, dad and me and sisters, and inside it said ‘I still think of wyn (my nanna) often’. It was really upsetting as it brought it home to me that now I have neither of them, and in a stupid way I dont want this woman telling me she is thinking of my nannna when I have just lost my mum! Silly I know as she didnt know. So now my dad is going to have to write an awkward letter, and I dont want the lady to feel bad.
I did see that exercise thing, I totally agree with you. My mum was a member of the gym and although she liked her wiskey! she lead an active lifestyle and loved walking. It is upsetting when something like this comes up, as it is like saying that the ones who have gone somehow didnt do enough to help themselves. I wander if the people who publish these things realise it is upsetting to those who have lost someone.
I found out today that my aunt (mums sister) has also been diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately they found it early and the prognosis is good, no need for chemo just radiotherapy. I am really worried as it seems to be attacking my family. I remember that we discussed the fact that we were both fixated on something happening to another member of the family. This is still bothering me but now I am also fixated on something happening to me! I just feel that if it has gone for my mum, aunt and my dads mum, then I have sort of come to the conclusion that it will eventually come for me too. I think I am just having a bad week with christmas and new year and being an irrational female!
Love Joanne x x
Hi Joanne
Yes the thought of a new year without mum is hard to take, also all the birthdays and anniversarys to contend with as well. Its mum and dads wedding anniversary on 26th ot this month and her birthday the week after. I found myself thinking of what I could get her !
So sorry to hear about your aunt. I can understand how you feel about this disease coming after you, I feel like that and dont have anyone else in the family with it. I think you just feel vunerable and that if it happens to others in your family why not you. Just try and live your life the best you can. My new years resolution is to do as much as I can, enjoy every moment with those I care about and not fret about the stupid things in life. I stood at my nans graveside on xmas eve and just thought that this is what we all have too look forward to and I am determined to do more with my life while I can. I know that sounds morbid in someways but it is the truth.
Please take care of yourself and book something you can look forward to in the New Year, I know it wont change how you feel about your mum but this is your life and your mum would be urging you to enjoy it.
Love Sharon xxxx
Hi Sharon how are you?
Sorry to have rambled so much in my last post, was having a bad day I think! Feeling much better now though.
Hope things are going as well as they can for you at the moment. I agree that the best thing to do is try and find something nice to focus on this year. I went back to work on Wednesday for the first time since I lost mum, and that has made me feel a lot better. I didnt realise but I think I have been moping around quite a lot at home, being out and about is the best thing for me I think. I have a lot of things to be thankful for this year. I am having a baby in april and my sister is getting married in July, so lots to look forward to, just such a shame mum isnt here to see it. Have you got anything nice planned for this year?
Hopefully speak to you soon.
Love Joanne x x