I feel sad and quite stressed that there does not appear to be any real help or support for Children and Teenagers whose parent has BC.
My 11yr old son in his own words “why would I want to talk to an adult therapist, they won’t know how I am feeling, If I am going to talk to someone other than you (refering to myself) I would like to talk to other children my age whose mum or dad has cancer like me. I could even start my own group couldn’t I?”
I also have a 16.5yr old who is almost in denial and won’t speak about any aspect of this whole thing.
The children need their own chat room facilitated by trained counsellors who can assist??
I was given a very useful booklet on speaking to children and teenagers but there was no way at the time I was in the mind to read this properly.
Am I asking too much? It would just be a very important weight off parents minds who are going through this if a fun secure chat room facility was available to our children.
I think there is a website called ‘riprap’ which aims to address this type of thing. It is for young people aged 12 to 16. I have not used it as my son (nearly 13) and daughter (10)have said " we’re ok as long as you’re ok mum" and as I have not had chemo and they were away with their dad when I had my op, they have not really seen much difference in me to be honest!
Maybe you could google this website and see if it’s the sort of thing that might help your kids.
Hi my youngest daughter used the riprap website which helped her as she became v angry and distressed(11 years old) it made her realise it was normal to feel that way and it was something very private for her.She was also given a book by a welfare worker about illness in the family, its about feelings etc I think this came from the winstons wish website.
My 15yr old son went into a very withdrawn state,he would not stay in the house if I was in and wouldn’t talk to anyone,he did on occasion speak to someone at school, he didn’t even tell his friends in the end I had to speak to them as they were worried about him.
Today he copes very well with my dx and talks to me he knows what I have gone through and came with me last month to the chemo dept, in and out in 5 mins but a really big step.He asked to see my mx scar and this helped him realise it was not scary to look at.
It has been over 14months now since my dx and all my kids still have their bad days, but now we can talk and even laugh about some things like my “boob in a box”.
Hope this helps.
I think it would be really good to have a forum for teenagers. My 16 year old son took my dx very bad at the start and I have had intermitent problems with him since then. I can talk with him and we have discussed all my treatment as it has happened but he does withdraw a lot and I can tell that things do get to him on a regular basis. The internet is a constant for him and I think it would be helpful to have a place where he could share his thoughts just like I do here. My 12 year old son is different and has become more clingy and is mostly ok if he can see I’m fine. I mentioned last week that I’ve been taken off herceptin as My heart function has dropped and he went to bits. I was quite shocked at his reaction but it just goes to show that the least wee thing can rock their world…
I have never been offered any help or advice for my children. I mentioned my concerns to an advisor at my Maggies centre but they were unable to help.