Hi, I have joined this forum in the hope that it will make me come to terms with my bc. I had my very first mammogram and got a letter back to let me know my results were unclear. I went to the breast screening clinic to find out and they told me there was something showing on my right breast, they took further scans.
I was shocked to say the least, was supposed to do some Christmas shopping, but instead came straight home.
I found out on 19.12.12. Two weeks ago and it has taken me all this time to even look at any of the books and ofcourse this website.
I have to have a lumpsectomy around 15.01.13, followed by Radiotherapy for around 4-6 weeks.
I have 3 children, two now have their own homes, but I do have a 14 year old son, who is devasted by this news. I think out of all of this the worst part was telling my family.
Not sure how big the lump is, or what will happen next, but I feel slightly in control again this morning and hope to continue feeling in control.
Thanks.
Hi Janis,
Yes I hope you continue to be in control as well. It is good that you have a date for your Op to start and plan things around it for your son. Keep him involved and get him to do things for you as you wont be as mobile for a few days and weeks after. I had a mx so could not drive , hoover, polish or iron so I just had to rely on others. My mother was a little gem and did loads for me. Sending you love and hugs Tracy xxx
Hi Tracy
Thanks for your reply. I am just getting used to all of the abbreviations, so sorry you had to have a MX. When did this happen to you?
Big Hugs, Janis x x
Hi Janis
So sorry to hear of your dx, not a nice way to spend Christmas and New Year. I know, as I had my Mx 12/12/12. So sorry for your family too, that was one of the hardest parts for me. Mine are all grown up and most have families of their own - blimey, I sound like Mother Earth!! The next hardest part is the waiting, but you’ll get through it. Good luck for your lumpectomy on the 15th. Hugs and love
Poemsgalore xxx
Hi Janis
I also was diagnosed just before Christmas on the 21st. For that first weekend I went from being rational to being in bits. Doesn’t it mess with your head! I was full of self recrimination-i should have lived a healthier life-if i wasn’t overweight-if I had exercised more etc etc.My children are grown up but I do look after my grandchild, who is 3, everyday and my paraplegic partner so there are others to think about and plan for. I have an invasive lobular carcinoma in two areas in my left breast. They don’t think it has spread but waiting for all the tests is the worst. As you say getting used to the abbrevations used on the forum is a bit difficult. People seem so knowledgeable, but reading what others were going through was reassuring even tho everyones situation is different.I thought reading about treatment etc might make me feel better I soon gave that up waves of fear would come over me. I have found telling people has helped and have heard so much from friends about people who have had full recovery again this has made me all the more determined to beat this beast. i am havindg a mastectomy on 28th January and a reconstruction. I would be interested to hear from anyone who has had this done and their experiences.
I wish you all the luck for the 15th Keep strong x Woolfie
Hi Janis
I’m day 1 after wide local excision (done yesterday). All fine. It’s better than the waiting around bit. This site was brilliant at preparing me in terms of educating me. Next step will be Radiotherapy if everything was got out on this surgery (fingerscrossed). I’m taking each thing as it comes, not looking too far ahead or reading too much about things that don’t apply to me. It’s not a case of putting my head in the sand but if it’s not part of my treatment plan then I can’t really relate to it. This isn’t to say I’m dismissing all those who are at different stages or with different diagnosis. Like a lot of people I’ve lost family and people close to me with cancer - including breast cancer - and it’s devastating. It’s not a diagnosis anyone wants nevertheless we have it and will get through as best we can.
I shall be thinking of you on 15th and am sure it will all go smoothly.
Things I did whilst waiting were working (good distraction for me… despite it being in a hospital dealing with patients), Internet shopping for food (saved all that queuing over Christmas and new year). Loading my Kindle with lots of books. Walking.
I realise everyone is different in how they manage a diagnosis such as ours and will find different ways to cope. The children (early 20’s) took their cue from me - so, as I just explained it all to them as I knew it, they felt as optimistic as I did about everything running like clockwork.
Will look out for you in case you post again.
Hi Janis,
I too have BC and was diagnosed beginning of December. I had a lumpectomy on 18th December and can report that the procedure is pretty easy and straight forward. I went into the hospital at 8 and was home at 2.30. A little sore, but only needed pain killers for 2 days and now have full movement of my arm (although it is still a little tender to touch at times and I doubt I would run for a bus yet). I had a sentinal lymph node removal at the same time and am currently waiting for the results of that before I get my prognosis and treatment plan. I may need to have a full removal of the lymph nodes depending on the results.
I have 2 step-children who are both married and living away. It was the hardest telling them - and thinking of an excuse to visit just before Christmas when we would be seeing them in a few weeks. But we all got through it. I have moments of feeling down - but that’s the not knowing more than the cancer. I am looking forward to getting my final results, hopefully a prognosis and a treatment plan. The worst bit is the initial wait - it seems to ease with time as you realise life is still happening around you and you have to get on with it. So now I try to keep busy.
The hardest times I feel is when I am awake at night and start thinking about it. I then get up and try and distract myself for an hour and when tired again go back to bed. This hasn’t been too bad lately and has eased as time has gone on and I have read more about exercise and positive things I can do during treatment - although here I am tonight. Mostly I keep myself busy - I walk a lot, read, cook. Of course shopping is a good distraction - my lounge has a whole new look - but I am not sure how long I can keep that distraction up though!!!
The worst part is the waiting. Once over you can get on with the next part.
Good Luck, Alison
Hi Alison
Thanks for replying and especially for the re-assurance re: Lumsectomy, I don’t think I am as scared about that now, but still dreading the results afterwards.
I am going through some crazy feeling, waking up in the morning feeling positive, then teary, then positive, then scared…OMG my moods are changing constantly.
I find just like you to mostly keep myself busy. Today I have been so busy and tried not to think too much about things. I went to get my haircut, but found myself going into a different hairdressers, just so I did not know them (sounds a bit mad, but I am thinking if I went into my usual hairdressers, and they say how are you, well…i do not know if I would be able to speak to them about it or if I would cry)
I wish you lots of luck with your results, how long do you have to wait for them?
Thanks again, Janis x x
Hi Toriaconey
Thanks for your reply. I know what you mean, my 14 Year old son, has been the hardest one to convince that everything is going to be okay… I find myself especially when he is around, making sure that he can see/hear me just being Mum as usual. Like singing in the shower, having my usual sense of humour etc.
My Lumpsectomy is only pencil’d in for 15.01.13, still to be confirmed and like you I am returning to work on 07.01.13. That is just the way I cope too, by keeping myself busy and concentrating on other things. I work in an office as an administrator. I am glad that helped you too. People are telling me that I should not go to work as I need to look after myself, but this is me looking after myself.
I am also not reading into things that I do not understand, like all of the abbreviations. I am lost with these.
I hope they got everything out and your results are through soon, do you know how long you have to wait for these.
Janis x x
Hi Poemsgalore
Thanks for your reply. I am so glad I got that part done, telling all of my family, I felt so bad to have to tell them. When I was told all I could think about was how I would be able to tell them, now that I have we are all supporting each other and things seem to be sinking in now. I did feel totally out of control when they told me, but feel I am coming to terms with it now.
Hope everything goes alright with all of your results.
Janis x x
Hi Woolfie
Thanks for your reply. Mess with your head, it sure does. Wondering when I am going to get back to being me again.
This forum has certainly helped me to feel less isolated. I agree that you are better to speak with others who are at the same stage as you, because there are so many different types of breast cancer and we are all different.
Most people who I know have known someone who had or has breast cancer and all of the good stories that I am hearing makes me feel really positive. Also my son has friends who’s Mum’s also have or have had it and again all positivies stories. So Yes, I think we are definitely going to beat this!!!
We must all keep in touch.
Janis x x
Hi Janis I was diagnosed in July last year had my first lumpectomy in august and I second lumpectomy in sept my margins were not clear again and had a mastectomy in November last year , its been 5 weeks and its not been plain sailing but we all get through this in our own way and sometimes its difficult to see clearly all the time . I hope your op goes well and your results are good, i hope your results are clear and you can then begin to heal , its a tough road for all including your family; you will know who your friends are at a time like this and the good ones will shine through ; I hoped for a better diagnosis but it was not to be ;you just get on with it; I am not sure how but we do, but it just happens and if you have a bad day those that care will fully understand. i wish you all the luck xxxx stay in touch and keep usdated on your progress. Xxxx. This site has been such a good support system for me. X.
Hi doll
It sounds like you’ve had a rough ride with three surgeries in just a few months. I would think the anaesthetics alone would knock you for six. I hope you are beginning to feel a little better even if some days seem to knock you back to square one.
Are you still seeing your consultant or BC nurses or have you been returned to GP care?
Janis
Not too long to wait now. Hope you can fill the days before your surgery. I got my appt through for 16th to see if margins are clear so that’ll just have been 2 weeks. 1 week post op and I’m about to take my dressing off. Has been pain free but I stupidly fell on some rocks (don’t ask) the other day (thank goodness wasn’t my surgery side) that is much much more painful than the op side so that I am on full strength painkillers and it hurts to even hiccough…in addition to a black eye where i hit my eyebrow (was wearing sensible hat which cushioned it considerably).
Hi mfdoll
I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of this. My Lumsectomy is on Tuesday and I hope that it all goes well. I have just been going to work and trying to carry on with my normal life, but its really hard. Taking big long walks everyday has helped.
Terrified for next week and for my results too. The way I look at it now is that I am over the 1st hurdle, meaning I am beginning to accept I have it and have to move on. My 2nd hurdle will be the surgery, but I think the most important hurdle will be the results from my surgery.
I hope things get better for you real soon.
Take Care and keep in touch.
Janis x x
Hi Toria I am still under consultant at mo; going back on we’d 16th fort the expander to be filled up a bit more ; yes it’s tough some days but there is not a lot of choice really at the end of the day! I am sorry to hear you fell over; thank the gods it was not on the surgery side as you said ! I am going to the breast cancer weekend on 25 &26th jan in Bristol and I hope it can help me get some questions answered about the expander and the further surgery ; keep your chin up xxxxxx
Hello toriaconey, I hope you are feeling well after your op. I too have to have this done on 23/01/13, I can’t get my head round it yet, it does’nt seem real, I have a full time job which sad as it is I don’t want to be away from, but I have to be and I have to come to terms with this. I am feeling very frightened now and think I am going to die, things are running through my mind and I feel as though I am just going through the motions. I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and I’m trying to cope with this. I have not told anyone else of my fears. I am in my 60s and my boys are grown and have families of their own, my Husband relies on me I am the rock of the family, and of course I have to sit back now and let them sort things out. I am sure you felt the same and also many others, I just want everything to be normal again, which I doubt ever will be. You sound very positive and I hope I can be the same, I am having a Wide Local Excision plus A Lymph Node biopsy I’m Grade 2 and my cancer is 1cm in size, I am keeping my fingers crossed. Hope to hear from you again.
Hello Janis59 , I hope you are feeling well after your op. I too have to have an op. on Wednesday 23rd Jan. a Wide Local Excision plus a Lymph Node biopsy, I am very frightened and all sorts of things are going through my mind as I’m sure it did with you. I work full time ( I am in my 60s ) and keep really busy all the time, now I have to lay back and let others get on with it. I have a Husband and two boys who are grown up and have families of their own, my Husband relies on me for everything, so its going to be difficult. Please let me know how you are coping, this site is brilliant at putting you in touch with people in the same boat, at least you do not feel so alone. xx
Hi pat-1949
I am feeling okay now after my op. I was so scared before it, and I got the exact same op as you are getting including the Lymph Node biopsy. I am writing to you to confirm that it is not as bad as it sounds. I went into theatre at 11.30 and was back home in my house by 18.30. It is quite uncomfortable for for a days only, mainly in the morning when you wake up as you stiffen up, but once you are up and about you will be fine. I worked right up until I had my op but now having a few weeks off.
The good thing is that if you have a Sentinel Node Biopsy, that is a sign that they do not expect that the cancer has spread to your Lymph nodes. I had the Sentinel Node Biopsy too.
I am now onto the next scarey part (Hurdle 3) - this is now when I get the results from the Pathologist and my treatment plan, I have an appointment on Thursday 24th January.
Wishing you luck for 23rd…big hugs!..Janis xx
Hi Pat-1949
Also meant to say, no-one has ever said what grade my cancer was, but I know it was approx 2.5cm.
Janis x
Hi Pat-1949
I can understand how frightened you must be feeling. I also thought ‘I am going to die and never see any grandchildren’ (which is ridiculous as my 2 children in tehir 20’s were not produced by me to ensure I got to be a grandmother - I felt very selfish for thinking such a thing). Next thing I thought was ‘I must get my will sorted out’ (my practical head coming into play - I haven’t as yet 
)
Then i had to fill my head with as much information as I could manage in the 3 weeks (almost) that I waited from core biopsy to results. Although purgatory, it gave me time to find out loads (and this site). I was then very well prepared when i finally went for results.
My results were high grade comodo necrotic DCIS (the highest grade of non-invasive DCIS) so it defo needed to be removed but the ultrasound showed no problem in axilla so they, in their wisdom I trust, decided I didnt need SLNB.
I also work full - time running a programme. I’ve got a fabulous team so know I can trust them to get on with things in my absence (for a bit anyway). I then thought a lot about work…should I retire myself off and live what life I had left spending my reduced income?, should I try and cut down hours? (not really possible for several reasons). I decided that I would go back as before and see how things go… which I have done - especially as things have been straightforward post op.
Post surgery I walked every day, caught 'Escape to the Country" on TV some afternoons… had disturbed sleep patterns and hot flushes ago go (saved on heating) as I had to stop HRT pre-op so all those perimenopausal symptoms have returned with gusto. I’ve bled like a stuck pig since my marina coil came out on Xmas Eve (Too Much Info for some people I’m sure) and came back from theatre thinking they had also done some massive gynae op as had a bleed of all bleeds all over everything.
Ah well… makes it all memorable.
Today (saturday 19th ) was my birthday. I was discussing with friends and family the 4 or 5 birthdays I can recall where it’s been a disaster (1963 - nobody coming because of snow for example)… and we decided that I could at least remember all those birthdays yet the others where nothing awful happened didnt stand out particularly… so sometimes these horrific happenings have some purpose… even if only to jolt our memory.
I don’t find this forum that easy to negotiate so had missed your post. I think they are fixing things to improve the site. I don’t know which threads I’ve posted on, for example, except the first one which i posted on which was Lozza’s. I tried raising my own topic but it never showed. I am a bit disgruntled that I may miss posts and also i ‘lose’ people who I have since wondered about. I dont want to add friends and risk being a stalker - so it seems it’s in the lap of the gods.
Anyway, what a long post. You’ll be fine on 23rd and no doubt relieved that bit is over. Continue to post if it helps. Have you told your boys yet?
Regards
V.x