Found out today I have secondaries

Following months of pain in an area starting in the back of my shoulder, rib area running through to the front top rib area, i was told today i have secondaries in the shoulder.(my profile has my original dx details) the tumor is unoperable apparently too deep, but i am to start rads on thurs, though i did have rads to the same area with my primary. CT next week to see if it has spread to anywhere else
the pain during the last 3 weeks has been unbearable but tonight thanks to the cocktail of pain relief i am coping with it. i have lost the use of my right arm/hand and have been told i won’t regain the use of it
i came away from the consultation today with very little info as i really wasn’t expecting to be told it was back, tonight is the eve of my 3 year post surgery anniversary. having read through many secondaries posting tonight, i feel emotionally much stronger to deal with what lies ahead.
rhi x

Hi rhi
so sorry to read ur news- I’ve followed ur posts on here being another triple neg lady. It must be very difficult for u as uv come so far- 3yrs on u must have hoped u had beaten this shi**y disease…
Best of luck with scans :slight_smile: fingers X’d there are no surprises anywhere else. Come+ join us on the triple neg recurrences/ secondaries thread if u want to chat.
You take care
tina xx

hi rhian, am so sorry you have secs dx i too am awaiting scans results as too have pain in shoulder and slowly losing strength in right arm and hand numb so i expect similar dx its so c*** that you have done so well for 3 yrs but as tina suggests come to our tn recurrence thread love and hugs rachel xxx

Rhian, so sorry to hear that you have developed secondaries. You were so lovely and helpful to me at the start when I was put on the same regime as you and I have followed your posts with interest and was very upset to see this one. So glad you are getting strength from this forum. xx

so sorry to hear this Rhian.

I’m so sorry to hear this Rhian - and amazed at the strength your post shows already so close to your diagnosis.

Hope the radiotherapy helps reduce the pain quickly xxxx.

Rhian, so sorry to hear your news. BCC have just produced a booklet written by people with secondaries which you may find useful. You can order a copy via breastcancercare.org.uk/secondary

Reading about others’ experiences can often help us make sense of our own situation. Wishing you the very best for your forthcoming treatment.

Alison x

drbaba.wordpress.com

Hi Rhian, sorry to hear your news and you having gone so far, and hope you will be able to get pain relief to help you over this, sending love to you, love junieliz x

Rhian - so sorry to hear this. Hope the rads reduce the pain and that the CT comes back clear.
Sending hugs
Dx

thank you so much for your posts, the strength this site and you fab ladies give is amazing.

my anger has calmed as i realise it just not worth wasting the energy

the meds are working meaning for the first time in weeks i have had no pain, the relief is enormous.

there is no good time for what this damn bc throws at us, but i have just moved to my cottage on a hill, with a garden and a month ago i was so happy thinking i was putting so much behind me and closing the door, yet it managed to seep through. losing the use of my right arm is going to be devastating, but hey i have another, it writes like a 6 year old and will need some training but boy i will have a left hook worthy of a prize fighter ha ha

i will slide over and join you on the reoccur thread,

fairyqueen, my arm use went from full to nothing in less than 4 weeks so scary,hope your scan results good but chase them, i was told yesterday . i could have saved my arm if i had dealt with it sooner, but with the house move etc etc i just put it down to bad lymphodema and no one listened to my shoulder pain moans apart from my gp (who is far to dishy to be a gp)who pushed me to the front of the que last week and insisted on an mri

love and hugs to all , this won’t beat me , i have to sort the garden for next summer for goodness sake, rhi xx

Hi Rhian

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but it’s good to see that you’ve already received lots of support and reassurances from others.

We have a couple of publications which you may like to have a look at.

Our Secondary Resource Pack, it has information about diagnosis and treatment options and key questions for your treatment team:

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/secondary-breast-cancer/secondary-resource-pack-bcc173

Also, our Take Each Day DVD might be of interest to you, it’s a 30-minute film charts the lives of four women living with secondary breast cancer.

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/secondary-breast-cancer/take-each-day-living-secondary-breast-cancer-dvd-bcc160

Both can be ordered through the site.

Very best wishes.

Louise
Facilitator

Hi Rhian

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but it’s good to see that you’ve already received lots of support and reassurances from others.

We have a couple of publications which you may like to have a look at.

Our Secondary Resource Pack, it has information about diagnosis and treatment options and key questions for your treatment team:

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/secondary-breast-cancer/secondary-resource-pack-bcc173

Also, our Take Each Day DVD might be of interest to you, it’s a 30-minute film charts the lives of four women living with secondary breast cancer.

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/secondary-breast-cancer/take-each-day-living-secondary-breast-cancer-dvd-bcc160

Both can be ordered through the site.

Very best wishes.

Louise
Facilitator

Hi Rhi,
So sorry you’ve had the news we all dread. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit stronger and very pleased to hear that pain is getting under control. I won’t lie, it’s tough getting your head around a secondary dx, but somehow you will find a way. I still have wobbly days but 18 months on from secondary dx I generally manage to just live with it and am makimg plans to redesign my garden, trying to work out how to finance solar panels …you do find a new normal.It’s early days for you so allow yourself to go through all the emotions and be gentle with yourself. Love Julie x

Rhian, just stumbled across this and i am so sorry to hear your news… i hope your feeling better now they have sorted you pain management out and i hope your active treatment isn’t too harsh on you. sending you a big breast buddie hug … take care xxx

As I have a broken arm which will mend, I can only imagine your angst.
Such a heartbreak for you.
I know from my experience with other breaks (lasting for nine months of inability) that developing the strength in the other arm does improve quite rapidly…
Writing especially is easier to master than you originally imagine and other tasks can be developed but balancing activities where you need two hands is especially frustrating!

I admire your spirit and hope that improvements will occur with your future rads but in the meantime I just wanted to commend your incredible attitude. I hope you have extra ‘hands’ at home to support this terrible setback.

You have an amazing attitude to your sec dx.
I am so glad your pain is currently under control and that plans are in place for further treatment.
I have a little understanding of your situation but in no way want to minimise your devestation.
I am so sorry that you heard your arm could have been saved if people had listened to you more responsibly.
The anger must be horrendous for you.
Maybe use your left hook for attacking some of those who didn’t listen… I don’t normally advocate violence but your case is just so difficult to read.

Tightest hugs to you tonight.

Not sure where my post to Rhian has gone to!
I’d love it to come back!
It was one of support and it now seems to have disappeared but I can read it and other recent messages from Hollymeg and JulieD if I scroll back but these three messages don’t seem to appear in the forum section???

Where has it gone? Must be something to do with Hallowe’en after midnight!!!
Just wanted to empathise with Rhian and wish her well after reading her very sad story.

Tight hugs to you Rhian. xx

Welsh girl

Yes, very spooky Welshgirl! I can see your latest post but not mine or Hollymegs!!!
Wherever they’ve gone to I hope Rhian has seen them!
Hope you are all managing, whatever stage you’re at, love and hugs, Julie

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. When I was diagnosed with secondaries, I felt shocked, terrified, and confused, and I suspect you may feel the same at the moment. If that’s the case I hope to reassure you that these feelings will change. Obviously there will always be the odd wobbly moment, but eventually, when you begin to accept that secondaries are usually managed for years rather than months, and that there are numerous treatment options/new ones coming along all the time, the intense anxiety you are feeling now will diminish. What’s more, if you’re like me, at some point in the future, you may even see some positives. Obviously none of us want cancer, but I know that prior to my diagnosis I sort of lived on automatic pilot, my priorities were wrong, I took everything for granted, and had no spiritual dimension (I existed rather than lived, if you understand what I mean), but that has now changed.
In the meantime, try not to project into the future, give yourself time to make decisions (particularly about treatment), and just try to cushion yourself (family, friends, this forum, and chocolate/ wine are good).

This is def. strange because I posted on here last night too, and sent a pm!

Hey Rhian, hope you’re OK. Let us know

Laurie x

It is Halloween… could explain the missing posts… i just wanted to say Rhian how sorry i am to hear you have been re diagnosed… i hope your doing ok and everyone is looking after you. sending you a breast buddie hug xxx