I am new to this site and i feel a bit of a fraud!!! Many ppl here have suffered much more than i have and i feel asking quesions i have a bit of a cheek. I was diagnosed last year Thursday before xmas, i have 2 sons 14 and 11 yrs old, they have coped really well but now i am absolutely terrifeid IT comes back. I had the lump removed and have been on Tamoxifen for 9 mths now, i cant seem to get this fear out of my head, i put on a smile and if asked how i am i say “yes im brilliant” while inside i am terrified. Is this a natural feeling???
Whilst you await replies from your fellow users, I wanted to reassure you that the way you are feeling is normal and many people contact us at Breast Cancer Care to say they feel this way many months after a diagnosis and the worry of a recururence is not easy to cope with. Have you considered contacting our helpline for support? Our team includes specialist nurses and people who have had breast cancer themselves and are trained to support others. We can offer you a ‘listening ear’ and information about our other support services which you may also find helpful.
The helpline number is 0808 800 6000 Mon -Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
It’s very natural to feel like that. I am 2 years down the line - I too was diagnosed the Thursday before xmas but in 2005! - and Although I am considered low risk I too am petrified it will come back. Did you just have DCIS??
I don’t know the answer but please be assured it is very normal.
I was dx Oct 2006. Had WLE, sentinel node biopsy, rads and Tamoxifen. I didn’t need chemo as lump was 2cm, grade 2 and no spread although I think some women with this dx have been given chemo. I think it depends on your particular onc etc. I permanently worry it will come back. BC team say to contact them with anything unusual but what is that? Is my ear and jaw pain suspicious? Should I contact them about lack of bladder control ( sorry bit graphic ). I could go on. Most of the time I worry more about wasting people’s time that the disease actually returning. I would have liked to have been given a list of things to look for then I would have some guide. I have been told I have a very good diagnosis but what does that mean???
Don’t worry Alison. You are not alone. Try to busy yourself with something you like doing and forget for a while. As for telling people you are fine…I do that. It is much easier and people don’t always want to know all the little details anyway.
You are not a fraud, your situation strikes a cord with us all. We all send positive messages as that’s how we cope, perhaps I should not speak on behalf of others. I feel positive 99% of the time but that 1% of worry really gets to me and I have to take a grip of things and try to refocus again.
It is difficult telling your kids that everything is fine, sometimes I hate lying to them but as things are not in ‘the final stages’ yet I don’t see the point in saying how I sometimes really feel.
You should remain always body aware but I am sure that as time passes without recurrences you will put your fears further into the back of your mind.
I would just like to thank everyone of you for answering me, it really does help. I am going for another mammogram on Wed 19th and im sooooo scared but hey we cant help that eh!! I just feel my boob doesnt fell right but i dont know if thats normal. Whats normal now though lol.
I have sat by the computer for months trying to pluck up the courage to register so i could ask this question, i am so glad that i did, you all seem a great bunch of people, who have come through lots.
Thank you for your replies once again its good to know i can talk when i need too.
How have you managed all this time without cyber support.
I too was dx last year same time as thrifty. WLE, chemo, rads and now mmmm… tamoxifen. I would have gone totally doolally without the support of my cyber friends on these sites.
You are not a fraud! You have been dx with cancer! And that’s very scary for us all. Its never going to be the same as it was before dx but for me it does get easier to cope with.
Yes, every little ache and pain I get I worry about. But we must remember as Carol says to be body aware. Whats the matter with your boob? How doesn’t it feel right?
I was totally convinced that IT was back because my boob has gone so weird! It’s 3" bigger than the non affected boob, the aereola is all swollen, nipple inverted, the skin is all dimpled…all the things we are told to look out for. But after the mammo and “grope” the surgeon said its fine,Just the after effects of surgery and rads!
So maybe when you have had your check up and been re-assured you will start to feel better. Any questions just ask, someone will have an answer,
My left breast ( the poorly one ) has never felt right and even more so since surgery and rads. I know what you mean and since treatment my right one is really lumpy but they assure me it is fine.
Carol is spot on when she says that we send all these positive messages but as that’s how we cope.
It’s easy to say don’t worry, but whether you have children or not, you always expect to be here for them throughout their entire life. I have a 15-year-old daughter.
When you look at how far BC research has progressed these days to really only a few years ago, the morality rate is marvelous.
I look at my good friend and neighbour who is twelve years on from her BC and it gives me hope.
I guess the fear doesn’t really go away, because we are reminded of it each day, especially if like me you’ve had a mastectomy, but each day gets better and better and I live for each new dawn.
I don’t look back, there’s no point.
Take care Allison and I know what ever question you may wish to ask on here, someone will always be there to answer it. I couldn’t have got through this without the help of people on here.
Hi everyone, I’m also a site virgin so here goes. It’s such a relief to read all this stuff and know I’m not on my own, a big thankyou to you all. I zoomed straight to the title of this topic Ally. I had surgery 2nd november for tumour and sentinal node removal. Then a golf ball sized infection under my arm delayed further for a couple of weeks (antibiotics and thrush treatment- recognise this?) Rads booked for 2nd Jan for 15 sessions. The pre-op care was fantastic but I feel as though follow-up has been “casual”. I was told by the oncologist that my “piddly little tumour” was hardly worth the rads and any drug treatment was all part of the “chuck anything at it” attitude. Don’t these people get any people skills training? This is MY body we’re talking about here. I came away feeling the need to be more “robust” and yet I live on my own so I worry, I’m self-employed so have no money and could do with a little tlc. When I asked for help it was inferred that I was being neurotic!
I fully understand that there are many worse off than me, I work in the care industry and have supported women through all stages of this disease. The “fraudulent” making a mountain out of a molehill seems to be the reaction from the “system” at the moment but it’s still my body and my emotions which are both pretty battered at the mo.
It’s good to get this off my chest so thanks for reading, Kym x
Yeah i do agree that some doctors make you feel like this my GP is like this also. I told him i was angry and i felt like hitting out at something he said to me “Can you change what has happened?” i said NOOOOOOO he replied “well you have to deal with it and move on” I was gutted.
I had just turned 40 i thought i was too young for this kind of thing to happen to me (recognise this?)
Kym it is your body and anything that happens scares you,
I jusr started using this site a few days ago and the support from ppl on here is fantastic, You seem to be feeling the way i was but a few days on here will soon change that.
Thanks for the support Allison, will certainly continue to use the site. I’m 51 and was SO grateful to be diagnosed on my first routine breast screening. No lump ot sign at all! I was still floored when it happened tho’ and I have 2 grown up daughters who, like your sons, are coping well so far. I just seem to have gone to pieces after!
I will most certainly revisit as much as poss. I knew it would do me good to be with like minded people.
Best wishes, Kym
hi my name is julie i was diagnosed with grade 2 breast cancer in one breast but because i am a natural born worrier i chose to have both breasts off, but i still worry it will come back i think i have been reading to many books on the subject, i think this looks a good site and we can all support each other i suppose every case is different . I look at life differently now, its good to be enjoying it .
I hope you can have a nice xmas allison.
I think that you are a brave woman, you took the bull by the horns and did what you had too do.
I hope you too have a very good xmas and that the New Year brings lots of happiness for everyone on here, i think we all deserve it…
Its my big day tomorrow (mammogram!!! so results are there for my check up in January) and im trying to stay calm, Havent did as much ironng and housework for i dont know how long and im off today too much time on my hands, Keep trying to be pos but im scared!! Its now a year since i was diagnosed and i would hate to spend another xmas like the last one.
In a funny way, I think the fact that I am now having nothing to do this December but housework and a few hours at work is making me feel really depressed. This December feels like a sort of weird anti climax after last year when I spent most of december either having rads or waiting to have rads. I know that sounds crazy. You are probably feeling like I do ( and of course the wretched tamoxifen doesn’t help with mood swings etc ). I feel like "well is this it? ". Also, I am too organised. All presents wrapped and labelled and no Xmas dinner to plan as my mother always likes to do it. At least I will be able to move properly this year. Last year, I had really bad radiotherapy burns and couldn’t even load the washing machine.
Anyway, good luck with mammo ( you have probably already had it ) and have a lovely Xmas