I would just choose a masectomy. No reconstruction. The reality is the surgeries ut undo stress on your whole body=for the rest of your life esprcially when you have lymph nodes removed. I had a diep flap 10 year ago, 5 surgeries ago, age 50 and I am still reeling from the reconstruction. & they are still uneven, can’t fit into a bra, clothing is so hard to fit into because they reconstruct your stomach too-NO IT IS NOT A TUMMY TUCK AT ALL!!! You will have tummy bloat and if you have any slight stomach issues to begin with-it it exasperates it. A mastectomy is one surgery. The reconstructions are at least 2-3-4-5 + surgeries. My body is still under distress to this day. Your body may or may not adapt. Mine and many others have not, I wish I had this info when I had to make an instant decision about my body. GO FLAT!!! It will be okay specially since you are in your 40’s -you still have peri- menopause and menopause to go thru. I just had menopause & it was intense. Sleep is still a struggle. GO FLAT!!! You won’t regret it! they still do not feel natural, and I am more scared now that they will not find any more cancers because of it. The scar tissue is also painful. I had a top surgeon in this field do the surgery too-so watch out. GO FLAT!!!
Hi,
This is my first post and Im also 42 with 3 kids.
I have a multi focal invasive ductal carcinoma in 7/9 nodes. It’s Grade 2 (it got downgraded after operation!. I had a full mastectomy and node clearance (end of Feb 24). Am starting chemo this week.
I had a flat closure since I will need radiotherapy (as will you probably). I was advised not to even consider a reconstruction until treatment is finished as it will just get mangled by the radiotherapy.
I also decided that a 2.5 hour operation is enough and I didn’t want to triple the length of operation and make the recovery more challenging.
My biggest reason though was that long term psychological outcomes are meant to be better with delayed reconstruction. In the short term, yes, I wish I had a reconstruction BUT over the last month, I have mourned my boob and I’ve made peace with my flat chest. I actually feel no rush at all to get it sorted. I’m keeping my eye on the prize which is being cancer free and then I’ll deal with hair and boobs later.
One other thing I have liked is that my daughters (9 and 12) have seen me place absolutely zero value on the aesthetics of boobs. My teenage son has been very vocal that boobs don’t matter too which is very sweet.
Honestly, I think I would have hated whatever I woke up with anyway. Fake boob or flat chest so I’m pleased I went flat and have reconciled the loss. X
Hi Sassy! I am so sorry you have had such a bad experience with a DIEP but I would like to add that what you describe isn’t all that common. I only had one reconstructive surgery and achieved symmetry with a flat stomach. So flat I can wear a two piece bathing suit for the first time in my life and feel confident. I also don’t have any real physical side effects. My shoulders get stiff occasionally with exercise but that’s probably due to the double mastectomy moreso than the diep reconstruction. I did like being flat though in between my double mastectomy and my reconstruction so that is certainly an option also. Anyway any option is a viable choice and it’s whatever works for the individual.
Hi There, please don’t wait for a mastectomy, get the cancer out, everything else can come later. I had stage 2 with cancer in lymph nodes, I was offered the DIEP ‘gold standard’ but NOT told that there was more risk of things going wrong, which would delay my chemotherapy. When I eventually saw the DIEP surgeon many weeks later, he explained this to me and frightened the life out of me, he said get the cancer out straight away and then think about reconstruction. Had I known that chemotherapy could have been delayed and there is a ‘time limit’ on when it should start I’d have opted for the mastectomy at the beginning. Because of this I had to wait 23 weeks in total for my mastectomy and auxiliary lymph node clearance. The stress nearly killed me! After the surgery the report showed the cancer had spread to more lymph nodes since my initial diagnosis and at that point of surgery my cancer was a stage 3!
Oh crap, Strawberry. I’m so sorry. I hope you are doing well now although I’m sure you had a more difficult road treatment wise due to the delay.
I hope you have been able to find the right choice for you. Were you offered a goldilocks mastectomy? I was diagnosed with stage 3, grade 3, invasive triple negative, already in nodes. It was non responsive to 10 rounds of chemo, and they point blank refused immediate recon, but I point blank refused a flat closure!! Im 37!! So, we eventually settled on bilateral goldilocks with full node removal, and I dont hate the outcome! I will have to wait for more surgery at some point next year, but thats okay. I hope you were able to find a way forward, and good luck with everything xx
@suffolk42 Hi 
after three surgeries for DCIS, i opted for a masectomy. They do explain everything to you. It may help if you bring your partner or a trusted friend for moral support. My daughter came with me as I like you was overwhelmed. I didn’t hear anything besides, radiotherapy and hope for the best and masectomy. I opted for the masectomy because that was the right decision to make. After looking at all options your consultant gives you, go home and talk it over and make sure you have the support because surgery can be quite painful afterwards if you have a masectomy but strong painkillers will help with all the pain. I wish you the very best.
