I posted this a few days back but I titled it “topics in young women’s forum” so maybe many folk over 45 didn’t both to read it. Surely it’s not just me and two others who have concerns?
Hi, my attention was just drawn to a YW Forum in Leeds. They will discuss, among other things, intimacy and sexuality.
Hello?
Does everybody’s sex life end at age 45?
Why is there no provision like this for those of us over 45 who are still wishing to continue to have a jolly good time?
Life doesn’t stop with a birthday.
Yes, I know there is a “booklet” about it. So why do some get told to go to a quiet corner and read a “booklet” and others get real, proper help?
Well said Ninja,
I’m afraid a leaflet or in my case a sachet of lube from the onc dosn’t really go far enough to address these issues. I would welcome a chance to discuss my feelings (or lack of them!) at a group meeting with other like minded women.
cheers
caroline
Well said! I get really fed up with the ageist assumptions that anyone over 40 or 45 doesn’t have a love life so therefore it can be completely ignored. They don’t understand that many of us women are at our peak around this age!
OK: why is NO-ONE answering us when we say, “why do some get told to go to a quiet corner and read a “booklet” and others get real, proper help?”
Men with ED get LOADS of help even if they are not having intercourse in order to produce a pregnancy, so why are women thrown on the sexual scrapheap at 45 because they are no longer fecund?
We need answers! Really angry about this. Why do women up to the age of 45 get WORKSHOPS and discussion groups and their own mini-conferences(!) and the rest of us get a bl**ding leaflet?
Only people attending the YWF get the help you are talking about and only half of them GP to that session theres loads more under 45s who don’t go to YWFs.
YWFs are for people with primary bc so those under 45s with secondaries don’t go either.
And having been to the YWF its not real help they are getting it’s a 40 minute group discussion and not exactly 1 to 1 support and I know at this years glasgow YWF many of those who went to that session found it deeply distressing and anything but helpful.
However that said if you do have issues speak to your GP go to your local family plannning or well woman clinic they often have counsellors or can refer you to gynae or other specialists to get the right help. Some units have combined clinics for women who have problems relating to intimacy following breast cancer.
The problems can be wide ranging and the professionals recognise it’s an area that Is overlooked by many. Doctors tend not to ask and women are too embarrassed to bring it up. But there is help for problems like loss of libido, vaginal dryness, painful sex etc. I have been a family planning nurse for many years Si for me it’s easy to ask women intimate questions but for many professionals thry haven’t been properly trained to do this especially old school GPs who trained honks ago. But if you have a problem please have the confidence to speak to your doc and if he cant help ask fir a referral and keep on asking till you get help. Nobody has to suffer.
Thanks, Lulu, it’s not exactly a subject I want to bring up at the GP’s surgery, TBH, though. It’s a “die of embarrassment” thing, especially since I’ve just moved and have a new GP.
In general terms though, why do YW get their own workshops/forums and no-one else? I’ve read various comments on here from folk who have been and really enjoyed it, did some networking, made friends whom they still see, etc.
Why stop at Young women? Do other large minority groups get regional forums, too?
What about African/Caribbean women?
LGBT women?
Asian women?
Any other large minority groups I can’t think of off-hand women?
Or, (dare I say it) Over-45 but leading active lives, not pensioners women?
I really hope you contact bcc and explain your issues. There are courses held around the country and sexuality and relationships is one area that is covered. it is not a forum, but is open to everyone. i had a quick look but you could phone and find out when there is going to one near you.
hope the link works. at the moment the courses look like they are about reconstruction. I havent attended one of these myself, but they could be very good for networking.Just a suggestion
just came across this article in the wall street journal about research being published tomorrow and thought it might be of interest to you ladies…
its american and lupron (not avilable in the UK) that it mentions has a similar to zoladex online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203499704576622873279960148.html
hopefully more will be done to take these issues into account for women of all ages.
This is an issue for me too. I am struggling with body image and intimacy issues now that active treatment is over. I have a wonderful, supportive GP but I just don’t feel comfortable talking to him about this sort of stuff. I’m 49 and see no reason at all why my sex life should now be considered of no importance but it’s very hard to find any help at all when you get to a ‘certain age.’
Thank you for your comments about the Younger Women Forum and the Breast Cancer Care services for people over the age of 45. Your concerns have been passed on to our services teams who provide our workshops and forums nationwide.
If you have any specific questions or concerns you would like addressing on this topic, please send them to <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%6d%6f%64%65%72%61%74%6f%72%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%6d%6f%64%65%72%61%74%6f%72%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script> Please include contact details and our services team will be in touch.
It’s just cruel that men in their 40s and 50s (and even older) get so much help with ED and women of the same age get nothing. Who are these men supposed to be having intercourse with, exactly, if their wives are suffering from loss of libido and vaginal atrophy?