HELP!! Had an awful day at work with my totally uncaring boss, just 1 year post dx and mx surgery/immediate recon. Saw my ps on weds and need more surgery to reduction and lipofill to recon. Looking at ?late oct/early nov. Spoke to my boss today who says that she needs to take advice from HR as this is only cosmetic surgery and not relates to my initial cancer or needed surgery!. Have been in tears for the whole day as I can’t believe after what I have been through that someone can be so insensitive and call it “only cosmetic”. Has any one else had these comments from their boss and surely it is part of my journey to end up feeling and looking like a “normal woman” at least in clothes and surely I should be able to take it as sick leave.
I have contacted my union but don’t know how to proceed with so called boss!!!
Any advice or help gratefully received.
Thanks,
Marjay
Hi Marjay
Firstly that sounds really crap, what a dreadful response from your boss. I’m shocked at how insensitive those comments were. I’m pretty sure that you are entitled to sick leave as this surgery does relate to your breast cancer-reconstruction is usually a process rather than one op-and that process isn’t finished yet.Of course you need to come out of it with a result that you feel ok about. Is there anyone else at work who could support you in tackling your boss? Also have you seen the BCC pamphlet about work-can’t remember the exact title, but sure someone will know.
All the best with it
C x
Hi Cupoftea,
Thanks for advice, With regards to work, no one would know that I work for the nhs in the “caring profession”. I am goimg to read the “employ charter” and see where I go from here. I am really considering taking out a grievance for her comments and will speak to a more senior person next week about how she is acting. I will also wait and take advice from the union. I didn’t feel mentally strong enough earlier, but the hurt and anguish has now started to turn to anger and I will not let her or anyone get away with this sort of behaviour. Just hope I get enough support to get through this
Wish me luck
Maggie
Hi, I am also having the procedures you mentioned to my ld reconstruction, my surgeon calls it revision surgery, although it’s not “cancer surgery” it is still part of treatment. I am sorry you have to face these difficulties during what are tough times already! Good luck. Tina x
Hi Maggie
I do wish you luck-you are sounding strong and I reckon angry is better than anguish-you are absolutely right,that sort of behaviour is completely unaceptable.
All the very best
C x
Many thanks for your support, much appreciated.
I will let you know how I get on next week. If it isn’t enough for us to put up with this b****y disease we really shouldn’t have to put up with crass comments from total idiots who don’t know how to treat us properly.
Sorry feel better having a rant!!!
Funny enough - I met with my BC today to talk about my “cosmetic surgery”.
I have asked him whether I can have my ovaries removed at the same time - and he says that sounds OK - it is something they do.
My answer to everything is that the NHS doesn’t “do” cosmetic surgery. Very little funding for cosmetic surgery gets agreed via decision panels. At the end of the day if the NHS is funding it - then it is deemed as necessary treatment.
Many thanks for your very helpful advice. As you can imagine, I was and still am very angry with my boss. So much so that I went to see her boss and said that if she wasn’t spoken to I would be taking out a grievance.(I still might)
I spoke at length with the Deputy Director of Nursing and she kept stopping mid way through writing, in total disbelief that any one let alone a very senior nurse could come out with these comments. She said she could not begin to believe how these totally insensitive, uncaring and totally un compassionate views were first voiced and how I must be feeling given all that I have been through. She is going to speak with her next week when she returns from her annual leave. Luckily for me I am now on 10 days leave, however, following this meeting we will have a mediated meeting to try and clear the air, as we will still have to work together - unfortunately (I am now looking through NHS jobs with a renewed vigour!). All I want is an apology and assurances that she understands that you can’t speak to individuals like she did and to be a bit more thoughtful as to individuals situations in the future.
I am also seeking the advice of my union, that was one of the first phone calls following ths outburst and if need be I will take this futher as she won’t like being told off and will use everything she can to “turn it back to be my fault” I can just see the “performance” managing coming into play!!! Bring it on is what I say.
I must admit, I hadn’t thought of occy health but am going back in for more surgery - first to my back and then for more breast surgery so will be in contact anyway with them, it will just be sooner rather than later.
Sorry to be writing what seems to be an essay, but I really do appreciate all the support that I have received from this site and from all you lovely understanding ladies - THANK YOU.